Damon Lanza's Funeral

[Sam]

If anyone has kept up with reading the other sites, you know what a
fiasco Damon's funeral was. Because of Ellisa (only God knows why she
acted the way she did) everyone except immediate family was barred
from attending the viewing. The graveside service was said to be
"open" according the the cemetery people, but Ellisa yelled at some
who were there. That includes four children and a 100 year old man in
a wheelchair who were related to Bob Dolfi and considered Damon an
"uncle". This travesty is quite disconcerting and I feel very bad that
it had to happen. Another tragedy associated with Mario Lanza!

[Vicki]

I haven't been able to find these accounts on the Internet. Could you
please provide links? Also, does anyone have particulars about the
funeral, like when it occurred and where? I'm assuming he was buried
with the rest of the family.

[Derek McGovern]

Hi Vicki: Damon was buried near his parents and siblings Colleen and
Marc at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City on Wednesday. For a one-
sided account of the graveside service, you can read the posts of Bob
Dolfi and his acolytes at lanzalegend.com.

[David]

Having read the LanzaLegend and Rense's Forum over the last few days,
it's become suddenly crystal clear to me why you started this
alternative forum. Perhaps you should rename this group "Mario Lanza
for the Reality-based Community".

[Derek McGovern]

David: You're a most astute observer. Thank you! (And it's good to see
you posting again.)

[Thelma]

I am thinking the same thing, having been on the Rense forum for 8
years and occasionally on the Lanza Legend forum. Not every fan is
acting ridiculous at this time, but I am wondering why some are. All
this controversy sure tarnishes the Lanza family's image, and I can't
understand why fans would want to do that. It is not the fan's place
to have so much to say to the family and friends about what was done
or not done. It is simply not our business, because it's personal.
Note that I'm talking about fans, not family or friends who are more
involved with the Lanza family. I think this forum has a more logical
format and someone (you Derek) to watch it and keep the peace and
everyone respects the other person. A public forum is not a place to
air grievances of this sort. That only causes more grief.

[Vicki]

Thank you, Derek. I checked those sites out and was a little
disappointed in what people chose to post there. I was hoping to read
accounts of Damon Lanza's life and to see photos. What I saw was a lot
of bitter arguing (full of misspelled words, to boot) about the
funeral and speculation about his sister's behavior. I didn't know
Damon Lanza, every time I ever wrote to him at dlan...@earthlink.net
either to order something or with a question, Bob Dolfi answered.
However, from everything I've read, it seems that Damon was a nice,
likable kind of guy, who loved his father and worked hard to keep his
memory alive. It's a shame his funeral had to be ruined by such
contentious behavior.

[Derek McGovern]

Hi Vicki: I'm afraid you're much more charitable than I am! I wasn't
*disappointed* by the majority of those Damon Lanza-related posts; I
was truly sickened by them. It's "all-out war", as one poster
hysterically proclaimed, typified the level of discussion on those two
forums over the past week or so. This tribalistic need on the part of
one side to paint Lanza's surviving daughter, Ellisa (whose name,
incidentally, most of her detractors can't even spell!), as an evil
"ice maiden" reached a new low in the fractured world of Lanza forums,
as far as I'm concerned. I don't accept this malicious depiction of
Ellisa, and I suspect there's an awful lot about the whole depressing
business that her attackers have conveniently withheld. Certainly,
though, there has been no shortage of gullible people on both the
Rense and Lanza Legend forums willing to accept what they've been told
about her, and some of them have written posts that border on the
defamatory.

But what were Ellisa's "sins"? She held a private prayer service for
Damon from which she excluded the man she deemed responsible for
causing the rift between her and her brother. (This is distinct from
the graveside service, which was open to the public.) Then she had the
"temerity" to choose a crypt for Damon that was placed too high for
the convenience of Dolfi's niece and her wheelchair-bound 100-year-old
uncle! This same niece is now denouncing Ellisa for not having shelled
out even more money so that a crypt to *her* liking could be
purchased. Unbelievable.

I don't know Ellisa, nor do I pretend to understand why she continues
to revere the same man (Terry Robinson) whose tabloid-like book
"Lanza: His Tragic Life" is the main source -- among other unfortunate
things -- of the absurd and much-repeated allegations that Mario
Lanza's death was the result of a Mafia hit. But the impression I have
always had of Ellisa is that of a loving daughter and a decent person
of intelligence and dignity who has consistently promoted her father's
legacy to the best of her ability. A class act. I've also been
impressed by her refusal to depict Lanza amid the nimbus of sainthood,
acknowledging the man's faults rather than whitewashing his failings.
This has been in stark contrast to the behaviour of some of her
detractors, who have regularly denounced anyone who has had the "gall"
to state, for example, the blindingly obvious fact that Mario had a
serious drinking problem. In short, Ellisa seems to have a remarkably
honest and balanced view of her father.

Thelma: Thanks for the compliments about this forum. Aside from my
issues with the *content* of the posts on both the Rense and Lanza
Legend forums (especially the latter!), I do feel that the bulletin-
style message format of both those sites is all wrong. It's very
messy, and few people encountering either forum for the first time
would have the patience to scroll back through many pages simply to
establish whether a particular recording, for example, has ever been
discussed. This essentially means that even meaningful posts on either
forum disappear from view within a matter of days. I much prefer the
Google format of allowing different topics to be separated into
individual discussion threads, plus the fact that it includes a
"search" function.

Cheers
Derek

[Thelma]

AS far as I'm concerned the posts were just full of "gossip" on both
the forums recently and I hate that. Most posters were talking about
what they don't even know about.

[Muriel]

Frankly, I was appalled at the public displays on the two forums after
Damon passed away. They should have been deleted at once and the
affected parties should have communicated in private. It's to her
credit that Ellisa chose to not answer such shoddy accusations
publicly.

We will never be able to separate *fact* from *fiction* from what was
put forth, so it should be ignored as a useless exercise. Ellisa
provided a service and a burial place for her brother, close to the
rest of her family. I also assume she was solely financially
responsible for doing so.

What we should be concerned with now is the dispensation of Mario's
personal belongings that are now in the hands of a non-family member.
Mario has two grandsons who should be considered and it would be a
generous gesture to place certain items in the Mario Lanza Museum in
Philadelphia.

I also thank Derek for providing a haven from such a malicious
atmosphere.

[Aline staires]

As I read the verbal garbage that was spewed forth re Damon's funeral, I found myself getting more nauseated as it went on and finally had to stop reading it. I was getting really upset. The thought that crossed my mind...Damon and Ellisa also had a mother.. Betty Hicks Lanza. Was there no one around from her side of the family to stand up for Ellisa? There's been no mention anywhere in any thing I've read that mentions Betty or her family. Muriel, Derek, Armando.... do any of you have any info re this part of the story?   -------Original Message-------

[Heidi]

Hi Aline
I too had to stop reading that garbage,it`s awfully.I think the best
thing you can do, is not to show any reaction on it, and sell them a
dummy.
Cheers Heidi

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[Aline staires]

Hello Heidi.... It's been a long time since you and I connected.Of course I hear about you thru' Muriel but it's nice to hear from you direct. Remember the dinner at Victor's when we both attended the Ball? What fun we had. I feel so sad when I think back and remember Damon at the Ball...he seemed so ..I don't know..distracted,maybe?? We agreed to keep in touch but I never did after that as I never knew if it was Damon or Dolphi answering and I certainly didn't want any connection with him!! It's 40 years since I was in Munich for Octoberfest .... perhaps some day I'll make it back to Europe and come to Germany and visit you!!!!  Take care. Aline   -------Original Message-------

[Muriel]

I hate to keep this thread open, but I wanted to make a comment about
Betty's side of the family. I met Shirley, Betty's sister, at the Gala
for Mario at the Met. She's quite a friendly person. Evidently
Ellisa's sons, Tony and Nick, are very fond of her, as they pulled her
into the picture I was taking of them! It seemed to me that they are
on great terms, though. I have no idea of what she, or anyone else
from Betty's family, thinks about this latest situation. Perhaps she
was around for Ellisa - I hope so.

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