Is your husband a wife-beater?

[MAITRI]

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/tabloids/your-husband-wife-beater-969

If all women who were asked this question were to answer honestly,
you’ll realise that many marriages are made in hell. Poor Dimpy
Ganguly found out the painful way when Rahul Mahajan, the man, she
fought a dozen girls off for in a reality show, began abusing her
shortly after marriage. Physical abuse in marriages is a sad reality
in urban India too. Even the rich are faced with this issue and they
too do nothing to fight it.
You think you know the guy, but the monster is revealed only after you
get hitched. After all would you ever expect an Indian diplomat, whose
job is to broker peace, to use his wife as a punching bag?
Sunanda Prabhakar, Chairperson of a domestic violence counselling
centre in Bangalore, says, “I receive about 20 cases of domestic
violence (from across the state) daily. Ten are from Bengaluru alone.
Around 50 per cent of the cases are from the middle class, 25 per cent
from the upper economic strata of the society and 25 per cent from the
lower middle class.”
Cutting across socio-economic divides, even beyond the ‘battered
woman’ syndrome, the absence of financial independence or parental
support, having children, fearing the stigma all become reasons for a
woman to stay put.
And when she decides to speak up like TV actor Shweta Tiwari did,
things get ugly. Her ex-husband Raja harassed her, and at one point
even came to her mother’s home and slapped her. Dimpy Mahajan too
quietly went back to hubby Rahul after her parents refused to support
her.
Kiranjit Ahluwalia, the battered housewife Aishwarya Rai played in
Provoked, set her abusive husband’s feet on fire after she had it with
him torturing and raping her on a daily basis. She unintentionally
killed him and had to spend a long time in jail before an NGO Southall
Black Sisters fought for her release.
While Kiranjit’s actions are extreme, majority of women get scared to
even say ‘stop’ to their abuser. Yesteryear’s actress Zeenat Aman
suffered at the hands of her husband for years. Neetu Kapoor had to
call the cops to literally get husband Rishi Kapoor off her back .
The reason abuse is thriving in our country is not because of the
guys, but because of society’s ‘let’s lump it and turn a blind eye’
attitude.
Though we do have a law in place, how many actually file a complaint?
Even rich parents talk their daughters into giving marriage a second
chance by saying “the guy will change; maybe she is annoying him; that
life as a divorcee is terrible; what will happen to the kids...” blah,
blah.
The husband in question either threatens the girl with dire
consequence or emotionally blackmails her into staying by promising to
change. In-laws invariably end up siding with their child and friends
often don’t have time to devote hours to your cause. Yes, battle
against abuse boils down to being a lonely one atleast initially as
either people don’t want to get involved or want to do everything in
their power to prevent a broken marriage. Till this mindset changes
and society realises that a broken marriage is not a stigma, courts
and police really can’t do anything.
Problem not class-specific
Archana Puran Singh
The issue of wife beating is like incest, where the victim prefers to
keep quiet. So the menace aggravates due to lack of addressal. And
it’s not a class-specific problem either. I know of a very upper class
man who beats his wife every day, and she, a modern, educated woman,
keeps quiet for the sake of her children.
Many suffer silently
Gul Panag
The case of this Indian diplomat beating up his wife just reflects the
outrageous double standards our society has. Any woman who has
suffered physical violence from her husband should be given
protection. It’s just that this case was noticed. There are several
that go unnoticed and many suffer like this everyday.