mail-jewish Vol.66 #45 Digest

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Jun 22, 2023, 5:03:43 PM6/22/23
Mail.Jewish Mailing List
Volume 66 Number 45
Produced: Thu, 22 Jun 23 17:03:41 -0400

Subjects Discussed In This Issue:

Financial - Present / not future
[Joseph Kaplan]
Learning is Good
[David Tzohar]
The location of a Dvar Torah on Shabbat morning
[David Ziants]
The mitzvah of making a bride and groom happy
[Irwin Weiss]
Women saying Kaddish
[Joseph Kaplan]


From: Joseph Kaplan <>
Date: Sun, Jun 18,2023 at 11:17 AM
Subject: Financial - Present / not future

Carl Singers comment (MJ 66#44) about the one school/two shul communities he
grew up with as compared to the multi-school/shul communities in Northern NJ
where he now lives omits a critical factor - population growth. I also live in
northern NJ in Teaneck. If we had only 2 or even three orthodox shuls each one
would have thousands of members. Same for the schools; they would be behemoth.
And many adults and children would simply get lost.

Moreover, there would be numerous fights over everything coed or not?, teach
girls gemorah?, should we have sports teams?, how do we split time between
limudei kodesh and chol? etc etc etc. And that's just for the schools. Similar
questions for shuls. Big populations like those we have, thank God, in northern
NJ are diverse by nature, and having many schools and shuls serving these
populations. United in some ways and divergent in others leads, I think, to more
rather than less cohesion.


Sent from my iPhone


From: David Tzohar <>
Date: Mon, Jun 19,2023 at 03:17 AM
Subject: Learning is Good

Joel Rich brought up the subject of the priority of women studying Torah since
they are not halachically obligated (ainah metzuvah ve'osah).

First of all there are many areas of Torah study where women are obligated to
learn such as shabbat, kashrut and family purity.

I remember that when we were first married my wife and I would spend hours each
shabbat learning together "Shmirat shabbat kehillcheta". This was a high point
in our relationship. The learning not only brought us closer to the service of
Hashem but brought us closer to each other. This was the basis of building
"bayit ne'eman lashem" Unfortunately in later years we discontinued this minhag.
In hindsight I'd say it was a symptom of our becoming estranged from each other.

The subject of women learning Torah subjects that they cannot or, at least, are
not obligated to perform is more complicated. Most major halachic decisors are
against quoting the talmudic dictum that teaching women Torah is teaching them
"tiflut"(heresy?} But there are exceptions. Rav Tzvi Yehudah Kook ZTZ"L and Rav
Aviner SHLITA both are in favor of teaching women Torah including Gemarrah if
they feel that the limud would help them in their avodat Hashem.

R' David Yizchak Tzohar


From: David Ziants <>
Date: Sun, Jun 18,2023 at 11:17 AM
Subject: The location of a Dvar Torah on Shabbat morning

Yisrael Medad wrote (MJ 66#43) asked concerning shuls like mine, where the
d'rasha is immediately after the haphtara:-

> May we presume the Magbia' is not holding the Sefer Torah and it is in a holder
> of some sort?

No, in my shul the magbi'a is still holding the sepher torah, as there is no
where to put it down. No one seems to complain about this, as far as I know -
and it does not seem to be an issue. Also, occasionally, I have been the one to
have hagba'a and hold the sepher - although I don't have this so frequently. It
is a bit uncomfortable, but tolerable - and I also do not see a reason to complain.

David Ziants


From: Irwin Weiss <>
Date: Sun, Jun 18,2023 at 05:17 PM
Subject: The mitzvah of making a bride and groom happy

In response to Ari Trachtenberg's question (MJ 66#44):

> The obligation to make a (new) bride and groom happy is typically derived
> from> the Torah obligation to love your friend as your self (v'ahavta l'reacha
> kamocha), but there seems to be some division of opinion on whether the
> making happy obligation is from the Torah or a rabbinical decree.
> Could anyone point me to sources that argue for either position?

One possibility is from Ketubot 17A. It says, "It was said about Rabbi Yehuda
bar Elai that he would take a myrtle branch and dance before the bride, and say:
A fair and attractive bride. Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzhak would dance on three
[myrtle branches that he would juggle]."

Personally, I can juggle three tennis balls, or three small oranges. I've never
attempted to juggle a myrtle branch or any other part of any tree. I guess I
could try three Etrogim, but that might be a bit tough depending on their size.

Irwin Weiss


From: Joseph Kaplan <>
Date: Sun, Jun 18,2023 at 11:17 AM
Subject: Women saying Kaddish

Martin Stern wrote (MJ 66#44):

> IMHO too much emphasis is placed on saying kaddish, as opposed to leading a
> Jewishly fully observant life, which is equally available to women and men, and
> brings more zechut to the departed parent, as pointed out by the Kitzur Shulchan
> Arukh. But rattling off innumerable kaddeishim without really knowing what they
> mean is a lot easier!

Leading an observant Jewish life is certainly a worthwhile goal. But denigrating
those who make an effort to commemorate a beloved relative no longer with them
(whatever their level of observance is), whether in aveilut or on a yahrtzeit,
does not help in achieving that goal.



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