Tactics For Listening Basic Unit 8

[Bonifacia Cramm]

Interpersonalrelations at work (and away, too) serve a critical role in the development and maintenance of trust and positive feelings in a farm organization. Although the quality of interpersonal relationships alone is not enough to produce worker productivity, it can significantly contribute to it.

An effective supervisor needs to abstain from showing favoritism; make difficult, sometimes unpopular, decisions; show concern for subordinates without appearing to pry; and avoid misusing supervisorial power.

In fulfilling responsibilities, supervisors need to strike the right note in their interpersonal relations with workers. New supervisors, especially those who have moved up through the ranks, are often counseled to keep a healthy distance from workers. Supervisors must be approachable and friendly, yet fair and firm. A good sense of humor also helps.

In this chapter we look at basic concepts of human interaction as they affect workers in general and supervisors in particular. At times individual and cultural differences may complicate working relations. Supervisors may be called on to listen to employees and give advice. (Although much of the discussion here is in the context of farm supervision, farm family members are also called to listen to each other.)

As adults, people generally do not go around patting, caressing or pinching other adults (except in the sports arena), but they may shake hands, wave, or say hello. At work most stroking takes place in the way of verbal communication and body language. Examples may include waving, smiling, a glance of understanding, shaking hands, saying hello, or even sending a card or flowers.

Physical strokes may include placing a hand on another person's shoulder, elbow, or back. While some persons do not mind, others feel these gestures, unlike the handshake, may be inappropriate. Some people may resent these physical strokes, not necessarily because they are sexual in nature, but because they often represent a show of superiority. Dexter, a supervisor, tended to frequently put his arm around Laurie's shoulder. Dexter was visibly uncomfortable when Laurie put her arm around his shoulder.

The need for personal validation is great. People may prefer negative attention to being totally ignored. Try to imagine how awkward it would be to meet a fellow supervisor and not greet him in any way, through either gesture or word. The opposite of a stroke is the "cold shoulder" treatment. A farmer was so uncomfortable when his otherwise excellent mechanics stopped talking to each other, that he was ready to fire them both.

Before job-related information is communicated, an exchange of strokes normally takes place. At the same organizational level either person can initiate or terminate a stroking exchange. In contrast, most workers understand it is the supervisor who often controls the length of exchange.

Even so, workers expect some sort of greeting from their supervisor. For example, a manager began to give orders to a farm worker but after his long explanation, the employee simply responded, "Buenos das (good morning)!" In essence, the worker was saying, "You forgot the ritual: I am not your horse, nor your tractor; I am a person."

Some strokes may be quite neutral or uncommitted, such as "I see." Others show more care or interest: "I heard your daughter is getting married, that's exciting!" Body language and tone of voice also play an important role in the intensity of stroke exchanges. Generally, when individuals know each other well, have not seen each other for a while, or when there has been a catastrophe or other special circumstances, a more forceful stroke is expected.

At times, the intensity of a stroke may make up for its brevity. For instance, a herd manager may realize special circumstances call for a longer stroke exchange, yet he may not be able to deliver at the moment. The herd manager may enthusiastically welcome the employee returning from a vacation, "Hey, I'm so glad you're back, you'll have to tell me everything about your trip at lunch! I've got to be running now to get ready for the veterinarian who is coming today." This stroking still validates the employee's existence while simultaneously acknowledging more is owed. A drastic change in ritual length or intensity, for no apparent reason, may affect a person's self-esteem or make them wonder what is wrong with the other.2

In 1993, I had my first opportunity to visit Russia as a representative of the University of California. I was there to provide some technical assistance in the area of agricultural labor management. "Russians are a very polite people," I had been tutored before my arrival. One of my interpreters, once I was there, explained that a gentleman will pour the limonad (type of juice) for the ladies and show other courtesies.

Toward the end of my three week trip I was invited by my young Russian host and friend Nicolai Vasilevich and his lovely wife Yulya out to dinner. At the end of a wonderful meal Yulya asked if I would like a banana. I politely declined and thanked her, and explained I was most satisfied with the meal. But the whole while my mind was racing: "What do I do? Do I offer her a banana even though they are as close to her as they are to me? What is the polite thing to do?"

"That one," she pointed at one of the bananas. So all the while thinking about Russian politeness I picked the banana Yulya had pointed at and peeled it half way and handed it to her. Smiles in Yulya and Nicolai's faces told me I had done the right thing. After this experience I spent much time letting the world know that in Russia, the polite thing is to peel the bananas for the ladies. Sometime during my third trip I was politely disabused of my notion.

"Oh no, Grigorii Davidovich," a Russian graciously corrected me. "In Russia, when a man peels a banana for a lady it means he has a romantic interest in her." How embarrassed I felt. And here I had been proudly telling everyone about this tidbit of cultural understanding.

Certain lessons have to be learned the hard way. Some well meaning articles and presentations on cultural differences have a potential to do more harm than good and may not be as amusing. They present, like my bananas, too many generalizations or quite a distorted view.

Differences between individuals within any given nation or culture are much greater than differences between groups. While at the San Francisco airport, a man caught my attention. He was conversing on the phone a distance from where I was sitting. There was something about him that made me wonder if he was Russian. Little pockets of words could be heard more distinctly at times. When I heard the word "chilaviec," or person, my senses where confirmed. I wanted to try out my three words of Russian with him, and the opportunity presented itself about twenty minutes later when he passed next to me.

"How did you know?" he asked incredulously as he turned to face me. We struck a wonderful conversation about Russia. We had a number of common interests. Some time later, he pointed in the general direction of those boarding and indicated that there was another Russian that would be flying this leg.

When it was time for me to board, I reluctantly excused myself. As things turned out, after I sat down a quick glance at my neighbor's reading materials indicated that he must have been the other Russian in the plane.

Sure there are differences in approach as to what is considered polite and appropriate behavior both on and off the job. In some cultures "yes" means, "I hear you" more than "I agree." Length of pleasantries and greetings before getting down to business; level of tolerance for being around someone speaking a foreign (not-understood) language; politeness measured in terms of gallantry or etiquette (e.g., a man standing up for a woman who approaches a table, yielding a seat on the bus to an older person, etc.); and manner of expected dress are all examples of possible cultural differences and traditions.

In Mxico it is customary for the arriving person to greet the others. For instance, someone who walks into a group of persons eating would say provecho (enjoy your meal). In Chile, women often greet both women and men with a kiss on the cheek. In Russia women often walk arm in arm with their female friends. Paying attention to customs and cultural differences can give someone outside that culture a better chance of assimilation or acceptance. Ignoring these can get an unsuspecting person into trouble.

When I attended the University of California, Davis (not long after arriving to the U.S.), I was going up the stairways of my dormitory when a fellow student came down the stairs and said: "How're you doing?" By the time I turned around to tell him, he was out the door. I discovered that "How're you doing?" really means "Hello!" For the most part, the right response to the question, regardless of how one is doing or feeling, is something like, "Fine."

This phenomenon is quite international, of course. Latinos, for instance, are famous for their open-ended invitations. You will typically hear, "you'll have to come over for a swim [a ride, dinner, etc.] one of these days," and is equivalent to the American businessman's "we'll do lunch sometime." A true invitation is normally more specific. When nothing ever comes of these invitations, then the strength value of these strokes diminishes.

Language barriers can cause misunderstandings. Words may sound the same, yet have unlike meanings in different languages. Thus when a young woman, who was a non-native speaker, was prodded by her supervisor to say a few words in Spanish, she exclaimed, "Estoy muy embarazada." And turning to point to her supervisor, added, "Y la culpa es de l!" (She thought she was saying, "I am very embarrassed and it is all his fault!" Instead, she had exclaimed, "I am very pregnant, and it is all his fault!")

Punctuality can also have cultural connotations. Sometimes it is a matter of communication, however. During a visit to Brazil a multicultural diversity scholar developed a clever way of determining how punctual he had to be on a given engagement, by asking: "Hora brasileira? (Brazilian time?)" If the answer was yes, he knew the event would not be expected to start on time. This did not mean Brazilians did not know how to be prompt. When meeting time was more critical, they would specify either "Hora inglesa (British time)," meaning, on time, or "Hora alem (German time)," calling for strict punctuality. In Japan time may take on an even stricter meaning: a group of international visitors was asked to attend a reception honoring a Japanese dignitary. At the precise appointed time, the Japanese hosts closed the doors, locking out all the non-punctual guests.3

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