30 Ways To Make Your Wife Happy
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NITESH SHRIVASTAVA
Nov 5, 2011, 7:29:11 AM11/5/11
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Don’t enter into marriage for any reason other than you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman. If you do, it likely won’t last (and if it does, it won’t be pretty).
A man who proposes via jumbotron is a man who didn’t think things through.
It’s pretty simple: He who proposes without a ring risks a scowl and he who proposes on bended knee gets it right.
The real way to “win” a fight: Hug. Eye Contact. Listen. Repeat as necessary.
Flowers make women happy. Translation: Buy her flowers once in a while, guy.
Marriage counseling works best when not started as a last attempt to save the marriage.
Don’t sleep in your clothes. Snuggling up next to jeans is not comfortable.
You’re going to fight. You’re going to say mean things. You’ll likely go to bed angry.
There will be times you’ll want out. But in order for this -or any relationship-to last, you’re going to need to forgive.
That said, try not to say mean things because while she might forgive you, she’ll never forget it.
A sense of humor can stop a fight 90% of the time.
Reviving your college days with your old fraternity brothers once in a while is fine. Just do it while she’s away visiting her sister.
And be sure to hire a maid before she comes home.
Hell, hire a maid once in a while anyway.
Remember how you treated her when you had just met her? You made reservations, took her out, flirted with her and worked to make her laugh and impress her. Treat her like that again (at least once a month).
A man who puts his wife’s birthday and his anniversary into his outlook is a man who avoids running to the mall at the last minute.
Women like random acts of kindness. Now that you know this, use this information to your advantage.
If she puts a ring on your finger during the ceremony, leaving said ring on the sink by “accident” at any point in the marriage will likely result in A) hurt feelings B) the silent treatment and/or C) A long conversation where you will need to reassure her you want to be married.
Making your wife feel sexy is a great way to get more sex. A way to do this is to brush her hair away from the back of her neck, kiss it and tell her she turns you on. This is very different from tossing underpants you bought from that shady store on 42nd Street onto the bed.
She usually doesn’t want you to fix anything. She wants you to listen to her vent about her problems. We know it doesn’t make sense but it is what it is.
No good comes from drinking with female coworkers or friends alone. Know what else is no good? Lying.
When she mentions your mother comes over a lot, it’s not a random observation.
The words “work wife” are fighting words.
Make the bed once in a while. Do the dishes. Try to put down the toilet seat. For God’s sake, brush your teeth every day.
When “nothing” is wrong, you’re in big trouble.
You know how you sit on the couch and play video games in your sweatpants all afternoon? That turns her off. Way off.
Your family is your job, not hers.
Your wife wants you to behave like a husband.
Making jokes about missing your bachelorhood or marriage in general will not go over well.
Your wife is your partner, even when it doesn’t seem that way.
You’re a lucky man. Behave like you know it.
A man who proposes via jumbotron is a man who didn’t think things through.
It’s pretty simple: He who proposes without a ring risks a scowl and he who proposes on bended knee gets it right.
The real way to “win” a fight: Hug. Eye Contact. Listen. Repeat as necessary.
Flowers make women happy. Translation: Buy her flowers once in a while, guy.
Marriage counseling works best when not started as a last attempt to save the marriage.
Don’t sleep in your clothes. Snuggling up next to jeans is not comfortable.
You’re going to fight. You’re going to say mean things. You’ll likely go to bed angry.
There will be times you’ll want out. But in order for this -or any relationship-to last, you’re going to need to forgive.
That said, try not to say mean things because while she might forgive you, she’ll never forget it.
A sense of humor can stop a fight 90% of the time.
Reviving your college days with your old fraternity brothers once in a while is fine. Just do it while she’s away visiting her sister.
And be sure to hire a maid before she comes home.
Hell, hire a maid once in a while anyway.
Remember how you treated her when you had just met her? You made reservations, took her out, flirted with her and worked to make her laugh and impress her. Treat her like that again (at least once a month).
A man who puts his wife’s birthday and his anniversary into his outlook is a man who avoids running to the mall at the last minute.
Women like random acts of kindness. Now that you know this, use this information to your advantage.
If she puts a ring on your finger during the ceremony, leaving said ring on the sink by “accident” at any point in the marriage will likely result in A) hurt feelings B) the silent treatment and/or C) A long conversation where you will need to reassure her you want to be married.
Making your wife feel sexy is a great way to get more sex. A way to do this is to brush her hair away from the back of her neck, kiss it and tell her she turns you on. This is very different from tossing underpants you bought from that shady store on 42nd Street onto the bed.
She usually doesn’t want you to fix anything. She wants you to listen to her vent about her problems. We know it doesn’t make sense but it is what it is.
No good comes from drinking with female coworkers or friends alone. Know what else is no good? Lying.
When she mentions your mother comes over a lot, it’s not a random observation.
The words “work wife” are fighting words.
Make the bed once in a while. Do the dishes. Try to put down the toilet seat. For God’s sake, brush your teeth every day.
When “nothing” is wrong, you’re in big trouble.
You know how you sit on the couch and play video games in your sweatpants all afternoon? That turns her off. Way off.
Your family is your job, not hers.
Your wife wants you to behave like a husband.
Making jokes about missing your bachelorhood or marriage in general will not go over well.
Your wife is your partner, even when it doesn’t seem that way.
You’re a lucky man. Behave like you know it.
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