Pantera Full Album Cowboys From Hell

[Katina Piccirilli]

Beforewe go any further, one thing should be made clear: Lasso is some bullshit. Mildly entertaining and often incomprehensibly absurd bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless. A bizarre combination of torture porn and slasher picture, it sends a busload of old folks to the rodeo, only to have a cadre of cowboys from hell hunt down their barely paid caretakers/counselors, treat their young bodies like broncs to be broken, brand their behinds with a red-hot spit, and then kill the fuck out of them. Imagine the worst parts of a Pantera record put to film, and you have a pretty good idea of what we're dealing with here (only, not as fun as any of that sounds).

In the end, Lasso is an above average DTV offering, but also too competent to become anything more than a passing curio. Had the movie displayed a level of sloppy ineptitude to complement its insane premise and plentiful bloodletting, then it could've become a secret handshake picture amongst the devoted. Instead, it's merely satisfactory, which is a shame. All the elements for a legendary guilty pleasure are here; they just needed to be handled a little more carelessly to truly have a lasting impact.

Rising up from the sewers of Philadelphia, Jacob Knight is a man out of time currently residing in Austin, TX. When not lamenting the Disneyfication of our current culture, he's usually enjoying a whiskey, watching some form of disreputable trash cinema, or drunkenly perusing one of the few remaining video stores. No matter what, do not @ him.

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