[Little Miss Ritchie] All In The Numbers

[Kristen]

One year. Seventeen days. 

It's not a milestone that most parents acknowledge. It's a day just like any other day.  
One more than the last. 
One closer to tomorrow. 

It's just a day. 

It's just a day. 

Just a day.

So why - why, why, WHY can't I shake the weight of those numbers.  One year. Seventeen days.  Why can't I let them go.  Why can't I let them pass without notice - stop my brain from shining a giant spotlight on their significance.

There was a point in time where I remember asking myself how I could possibly go on if something were to happen to her.  Where despite her broken little heart, I had convinced myself that she was invincible.  We knew that each day was a blessing, yet I lived and loved each day as if there was some guarantee of more to come.  

Then came one year, seventeen days.

Tomorrow morning our Max will wake up one day older.  

One year. Eighteen days.  

One day bigger. One day smarter. 

One day stronger.  

One day older than his big sister ever got the chance to be.  

So today we loved a little harder.  We snuggled.  We giggled.  We celebrated first steps.   And as we said our goodnights I held him a little longer...feeling his weight, soaking in his smell.  How could I possibly go on if something were to happen to him?  

One year.  Seventeen days.

--
Posted By Kristen to Little Miss Ritchie at 2/14/2015 10:53:00 PM