I Can 39;t Think Straight Full Movie Watch Online
Nickie Koskinen
Hello. I'm so emotional right now and cannot stop crying, I can't think straight and don't know how I am supposed to feel. I was given my diagnosis on Friday but cannot seem to process anything at the minute. I have an appointment with the haematologist on Thursday and I believe he is going to talk me through my treatment plan. Is anybody familiar with this type of cancer?
Thanks so much for the response, the skin condition you refer to is something I too am experiencing having had itchy arms for over a year, I've seen a dermatologist twice now, she has prescribed creams and potions and lotions but yesterday felt that it was definitely related to the blood disorder although she admitted she knew little about WM except its rare and normally found in men aged 70+, given I meet neither criteria, I am even more confused. I really don't like the sound of the watch and wait, is it not better to start treatment before it spreads? I will read the links you have sent although I feel like all i've done for weeks is read and again this can be confusing too although I'd rather be armed with the facts and try and gain some control over my life back :-(
Hi again, Itchy skin is actually one of the Common symptoms of lymphoma....... but my type of skin Lymphoma is completely different as where in most types of Lymphoma growth areas/tumours all happen 'inside' the body with my type of Lymphoma it all happened 'on' my skin.
I was on Active Monitoring for over 14 years before I needed full on treatment. It is very important to only treat when the treatment will be most effective...... there are lots of treatment levels but you have a long life in front of you so it's important not to use up the options quickly, just treat when it will do the best job.
By the time I had my full on treatments (Late 2013) I was stage 4 and 70% covered in tumours but here I am over 9 years on living a great life. Trust in your clinical team - they know what to do and what is best for you.
Get a note-book and list the top 5-ish questions you want answers for but you may find you are going to get a lot of information thrown at you so watch you don't get overwhelmed..... are you taking someone with you?.....this is highly recommended in the early days.
Hi, I got my diagnosis or WM on Monday, so can understand how emotional you must feel. We're all different, but I think we will all eventually process the news and get on with giving all we can to help others and enjoying our lives. I am still processing things and am up and down, but feel it is important to do something we really enjoy every day and make plans for the future.
My current therapy is on trial using bio-targeted drugs ( Rituximab and Ibrutinib) mostly taken at home. Drugs not supported by NICE. I'm in maintenance and what toxicity there is is only grade 1 at present.
On the Monday just past, I had to get my cat Henry put down. Henry adopted me when I bought my house a couple of years ago. He had left behind by his previous owners- malnourished, ill treated and alone. Being the animal lover that I am, I decided to take him in, he needed to be coaxed at first- but soon became the most loving, gentle and placid animal. He was a tom though, so he wandered unless kept inside- and seemed to get in a few scraps every now and then.
Henry had been sick when I first found him. In the beginning, I didn't realise how ill he was- it was only after a chest infection last year that I discovered he had Feline AIDS and was pretty much prone to sickness at every possibility. I read that I could keep him well though, despite having AIDS and he continued to be healthy for many, many months. He gained weight and was doing well.
Last Monday, I decided to take the next step and get him desexed. This seemed logical enough, he'd wander less and possibly go less 'crazy' around cat season. The operation went well- but after a few days of having him home he started dripping urine everywhere, all over the house- he was also agitated. I waited until the weekend to take him to the vet- at which they said he had a serious bladder infection and that he'd need an operation and a catheter inserted. I went ahead with this.
Monday came and the vet said that Henry still hadn't urinated on his own. She gave me the option of inserting another catheter but she was neither here nor there about whether he'd recover. This left me floundering about what I could do. I hate that the vet was not specific about his health. I absolutely hate it, despite her being so caring toward me and my cat. She wasn't specific about what I should do- and I'd never been put in such an insane position. I had no idea what to think.
I went to see Henry that afternoon at the vet with my boyfriend- I don't know how I feel about this particular memory. I can only describe myself at the time as hysterical. Crying into Henry's fur as I stroked him and told him I loved him. He'd nuzzle at my hands and try and come to me. My boyfriend and I both couldn't stop crying. I've never ever felt a pain like it. I want to feel that this is a good memory, that I got to pat Henry, have him be that affectionate animal that I knew so well- yet, all I wanted, all I yearned for was to have him at home with me. Sitting on my lap, on my shoulder, wherever he used to lie- I had to stop myself from yanking him out of the cage and running away. I feel like I'm going to be sick every time I think about it.
My boyfriend, as did several of my family members believed that it would be best to put Henry down. In a way I agreed also, but couldn't (and still can't) help but think he could have had a chance. Even if it was small. My boyfriend helped me decide on the day- but I feel like I was rushed into my decision and that the vet was never clear enough about whether he'd make a recovery. She kept reminding me that that this cycle of things not working could continue- and that only some cats recovered if they kept pressing. Despite knowing he was in pain, I'm absolutely devastated by my choice. My 'What if''s are endless- "What if we'd tried another catheter? Kept him in one more night? What if I hadn't got him desexed...would the infection still have happened?"
I feel completely and utterly gutted. I hate being around my house now. I hate seeing areas where he should be. I hate not having him on my bed at night and not being able to feed or pat him. He was the most loving animal- he'd wait for me on my front fence to get home- follow me constantly, like a little shadow. He almost seemed to know when I was sad- he'd cuddle up to me as close as he could and press his head against mine. He only ever showed love- he just wanted to love everyone. He had a dog's personality- not a typical cats.
How can I go on if I still believed there was a chance he'd live? How will I get over my grief if all I feel is guilt? All I wanted was to have him at home and now all I have left is gut wrenching feelings. I'm hating my life at the moment.
dear erin, your story of your henry is very similar to that of my mocha. he found us, came into our home. i've never neutered him ; he doesn' t spray or do anything bad, just follows me around the house and is the most doglike cat i've ever seen. i previously owned a russian blue and they are prone to urinary crystalization. that vet wanted me to put kitsa down and i refused. i pumped a lot of money into kitsa, the russian blue - he needed catheterization twice, special diet. but he survived until last year when he too was finally put to sleep for other health and age related issues. so now i have just Mocha who i adore. What and who i adored just as much was my husband of ten years who died two months ago, this day. Jerry. I suppose this is cross posting but perhaps it will give you some perspective and hope about your situation. Trust me, as much as I adore my kitty, i loved jerry in a totally different way. I am crying as i write this because i understand your pain of loss, animals are just as attaching as humans. Do not let anyone tell you not to grieve, it is important that you do. I found hope here at this website to get through the last two months. I understand your lack of sleep and lack of eating. me too. it is all part of a normal grieving process which i've now read a lot about. in my opinion, don't let anyone try and do the 'now now , it'll be okay" stuff because for a while, it won't. i have endured two months of hell. As for your guilt, i can only suggest it but you should not guilt yourself. i did and it got me nowhere. i am still guilting myself that i could've done something to save jerry who i found unresponsive the morning , in bed, of july 5 2012. the best advice i've received is to cry my tears out wholeheartedly. they'll pop up at a moment's notice. and believe me, i've cried. this website, which i am glad you found, helps me tremendously. the chat room is excellent talk therapy. I wish you peace in your journey of grief and i hope i helped you a little bit today, as others have helped me along my path, love, val
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