Love Vs. Obsession

[Torcuato Agravante]

Obsessivelove disorder (OLD) is a proposed condition in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess and protect another person, sometimes with an inability to accept failure or rejection. Symptoms include an inability to tolerate any time spent without that person, obsessive fantasies surrounding the person, and spending inordinate amounts of time seeking out, making, or looking at images of that person.[1][2]

Depending on the intensity of their attraction, obsessive lovers may feel entirely unable to restrain themselves from extreme behaviors such as acts of violence toward themselves or others. Obsessive love is thought[by whom?] to sometimes have its roots in childhood trauma and may begin at first sight; it may persist indefinitely, sometimes requiring psychotherapy.[3]

The disorder most commonly associated with obsessive love is borderline personality disorder. Other disorders that are most commonly associated with obsessive love include delusional disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other cluster B personality disorders.[4]

Sigmund Freud considered that obsessive love might be underpinned by an unconscious feeling of hate for which it overcompensated - thereby explaining the sufferer's feeling of a need to protect the love object.[5] Later analysts saw obsessive love as driven more by narcissistic need, the preoccupation with the love-object offering defenses against worries and depressive feelings;[6] while Jungians see it as rooted in the projection of the inner self onto another person.[7]

Erica Cirino is a writer, artist and researcher who works globally. While on assignments in places as far-off as the South Pacific Ocean and the Arctic Circle, she covers science stories that often meet at the intersection of human and wildlife health, and environmental conservation. In particular, Erica is highly focused on uncovering the depths and health effects of the global plastic pollution crisis.

While no separate medical or psychological classification exists for OLD, it can often accompany other types of mental health illnesses. Talk to your doctor if you think you or a loved one may have the disorder. Treatment can help decrease the symptoms while also preventing complications with relationships.

People who have OLD may also not take rejection easily. In some cases, the symptoms could worsen at the end of a relationship or if the other person rejects you. There are other signs of this disorder, such as:

Types of attachment disorders include disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED) and reactive attachment disorder (RAD), and they both develop during childhood from negative experiences with parents or other adult caregivers.

This mental health disorder is characterized by a disturbance with self-image coupled with severe mood swings. Borderline personality disorder can cause you to be extremely angry to extremely happy within a matter of minutes or hours.

This disorder is an intersection between delusional and obsessive love disorders. With erotomania, you believe that someone famous or of a higher social status is in love with you. This can lead to harassment of the other person, such as showing up at their home or workplace.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a combination of obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals. These are severe enough to interfere with your everyday life. OCD can also cause you to need constant reassurance, which can affect your relationships.

It can take several weeks for your medication to work. You may also need to try different types until you find the one that works best for you. Talk to your doctor about possible side effects, such as:

If you or a loved one has possible symptoms of obsessive love disorder, you should see a doctor. They may refer you to a psychiatrist to help determine whether you truly have OLD. You may also have another mental health illness.

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Maria is an insatiably curious soul, particularly fascinated by the mysterious workings of the human brain, medical history, and our relationship with our own bodies, both during and after life. Before joining Medical News Today, Maria worked as a teacher, academic ambassador, and a freelance writer and copy editor. Recently, she finished a Ph.D. in English at the University of Warwick in the U.K. In her spare time, she learns Japanese, occasionally practices taxidermy, and spreads her infectious love of invertebrates.

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Indeed, it is not currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). However, obsessive love can be a sign of other mental health challenges and conditions.

If the person experiencing feelings of obsessive love does not receive treatment for the overall symptoms, they may have difficulty regulating these feelings. In very extreme cases, this may even trigger a person to commit acts of violence or abuse.

A person with obsessive love may have issues regulating their emotions and behaving accordingly. Other symptoms can include having low self-esteem, overwhelming attraction to a particular person, or possessive thoughts.

For some people, these feelings may be so powerful that they become obsessed with keeping and controlling the person they love. They may sometimes appear to worship their partner but become angry or jealous at the slightest threat.

Some of these factors may be missing in obsessive love. For example, people with extreme jealousy may not trust their partner, which may lead to them trying to control their partner or constantly monitoring their behavior.

Obsessive love may focus on ownership of a partner rather than seeing them as an equal. Rather than loving the person and wanting the best for them, people with obsessive tendencies may love the other person because of their own needs.

Erotomania is a psychiatric disorder in which a person has a delusional belief that a person of higher social status than them is in love with them. With erotomania, the focus is on receiving love rather than giving love.

Secondary erotomania may link to other psychiatric conditions, such as schizophrenia or major depressive disorder. Erotomania may also link to head trauma, pregnancy, alcohol abuse, or certain medications such as amphetamines.

One 2017 case study suggested that social media may worsen erotomania. This is because it allows people with obsessive tendencies to observe others from a distance and to feel closer to them than they might otherwise feel.

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may intensely fear abandonment and have difficulty controlling emotions. They may quickly enter into relationships or have intense relationships with others.

People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies since they may find it difficult to individually see themselves as real or worthy, separate from their relationships.

If people have a stable and responsive caregiver as a child, they develop a secure attachment style. This means a person is likely to be independent, manage their emotional experiences, and value close relationships.

If a child has an unstable caregiver, they may develop an insecure attachment style. This can make a person anxious, avoidant, or fearful in a relationship. People with insecure attachment styles may express emotions in a heightened way with an increased dependency on others.

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD) includes obsessions over a close or intimate relationship or partner and may include an obsessive focus on how a partner is unreliable or untrustworthy. Obsessive distrust in a relationship may link to depression, anxiety, and violence in a relationship.

Some social and cultural norms demand more of one partner than the other. This could mean that some parents and caregivers expose their children to these unhealthy relationship styles during their upbringing.

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