Have you ever identified and ignited a spark?
Narendra Goidani
Dearest Darling friends,
Today afternoon I asked my colleagues Seema and Charu, "Can you imagine the world without FIRE?"
They looked utterly confused with my question. Charu asked me, "Is it s PJ or are we supposed to give an intelligent answer.?" You see, how I have surrounded myself with creative people who understand my sense of humour.
I volunteered, "For example....If there was no FIRE what I will miss the most in this world is the grand sights of the satellites taking off."
Still confused Seema and Charu gamely started thinking. Seema, a little afraid said, "Without FIRE I cannot visualize hell". I nodded my head indicating it was an acceptable answer. She looked pleased with herself. With a trifle sad looking face Charuta said, "No candles on my birthday cake". Hmm. I made that noise that I often do when I do not understand how to respond. There, you know a secret of mine.
Well, turning this article to a meaningful direction, last week - a mother, Mrs Jaya, asked me 'How do I manage to get the best out of some people when others have failed to do so?'
She was referring to her son Pratik's improved performance after one counseling session that we had. The answer I gave her was my most endearing smile (for I had no idea about the truth). She seemed satisfied. I was visibly relieved.
I had never thought about this. But, it seemed like a good thought to think on. How do some people get the best out of us while a few manage to consistently bring the worst out of us ???
Mrs Jaya's question revealed a gold mine of understanding people. I would love to share my thoughts on that question with you. I believe two things are common that people who got the best of me did.
Firstly, they respected me at all times. Secondly, they always focused on the good that they saw within me. As I felt respected, I was open to their suggestions. When I heard the good they saw in me, I was motivated to be better than ever before.
While I was still in school with the school uniform still shorts, when I had no clue what I can become in my life, my uncle Sri Ram Mohta will tell one and all, 'He is the star of the future generation'. I used to look at him with disbelief. He used to say this with total belief. I used to be embarrassed. Sometimes I knew people were not even listening, just pretending to do so. Yet, he would say it again and again. Today, I understand his words sunk deep within. Effortlessly he gets the best out of me. Never for himself. It is from me, for me. He ignited a spark within, that will rage till I die.
I was plump, I was so often slow. I was shy. I loved food to a fault. I never had the courage to even crack a joke. There were quite a few limitations in me. There were a few good qualities too. I was sincere. I was a good student. I was peace loving. I loved to read.
My uncle Sri Ram Mohta, always stressed on the good qualities I had. He re-emphasised to one and all, the good qualities that I had. While the weaknesses were weakly acknowledged, the good were strongly highlighted. The spark (good qualities) were always stroked. If he ever discussed my weaknesses, it was with all the love in the world. I was never attacked for my weaknesses. I was never identified with my weaknesses. To him, my strengths were my identity.
My strengths of sincerity, being a good student, peace loving, reading were complimented by newer strengths as I grew. I wanted to have these strengths always with me courtesy - consistent identification with them. I added on ambition, determination, self-drive, focused progressive discipline, sense of humour, etc. to me as life led me through various experiences. All these new additional strengths added more and more value to me. Unknowingly, I was adding strengths that made my earlier strengths stronger. At the same time, it made the earlier weaknesses weak and harmless. The old weaknesses do not exist in me any more.
I owe so much of what I am today to my Uncle Sri Ram Mohta. He made me ready to bring the best out of me. I did not understand it then. I did not understand it even now, till a loving and a happy mother asked me that question, 'How do I manage to get the best out of some people when others have failed to do so?'
It is only her question that made me realize unknowingly, I had taken the same approach that my uncle had taken with me. I had identified a spark in Pratik, made him believe in that spark within him, and the rest was his efforts. I could convince him his identity should be this spark within him. I could convince him, if this spark is properly stroked, it will become a fire that will conquer all his self doubts and remove those weaknesses that can harm him. What worked with me, worked with Pratik. It has worked with so many more people too. It always works !!!
I firmly believe, each one of us has the wonderful spark inside. Do identify the spark inside you. Be with people who see the spark inside you. You be the person who sees the spark inside others. Lets nurture that spark for us and for all. Lets feel the fire glowing inside, that will burn away our weaknesses and help us to be what we can be, be what we are meant to be.
Go out of your way to do this work of identifying and establishing the sparks. Let the mission of our love and the proof of being human be identifying this spark, nurturing it respectfully and making people believe in themselves. Doing so will certainly make this life worth living.
I can imagine this world without fire on the outside. No, I will not miss the scene of hell or my birthday cake. What I cannot imagine is a life without that spark, that fire within me. Then my life is already hell, isn't it? Then, what is the use of this birth and the birthday cakes, isn't it?
My loads of gratitude to Mrs Jaya, Seema and Charu for their contribution in making this article possible. My heartfelt gratitude to my uncle Sri Ram Mohta for revealing the secret that made my wonderful life possible.
With love, prayers and best wishes,
naren
As I live...I learn
na...@lifeschool.co.in
Follow us :
Dearest LSM subscriber,
We are glad to receive your well wishes and feedbacks for each Life School Message that we send. If you wish to spread the goodness of our LSMs to your near and dear ones, you can send us their email addresses on con...@lifeschool.co.in and we will add them to our subscription list.
Help us to reach out and make a difference to as many lives as possible. We are confident that this kind gesture of yours will be highly appreciated by your friends / relatives / colleagues / associates / clients.
Our humble request is that when you send
us the email addresses, please ensure that you take permission
from each one of them beforehand.