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Dearest Darling friends,
A friend asked, "When I do good and
expect to be rewarded, is it wrong? When people do not recognise my
efforts it really hurts me! What to do?"
 My answer was, "Can anyone point out where the
circle started after the circle got completed?" I went on to explain
how I look at me doing acts of goodness and why?
All of us can point out the point when
we begin a circle. As we move ahead and complete the circle, it will
be difficult to point out where the circle actually began. In the
beginning the starting point might have been important. In the
completed stage, EVERY point is as important as any other point.
There are so many people who contribute
to my life. My teacher taught me how to speak. I remember my
parents, my neighbours, my cousins, all of them appreciated every
laudable result of mine. They were ecstatic when I was appointed the
'head boy' of my school Hartley's in Kolkata (way back in 1986).
Today when I use the words I learnt to appreciate someone, or when I
am ecstatic about others' success, am I not just completing
the circle of goodness!
I remember, my father's business
colleague gave me the first job of my life when I was free after
10th board exams. I knew nothing about accounts. He taught me
accounts. He also showed and thereby taught me how to be patient
with a novice like me. Those lessons have stayed with me throughout.
A few months ago we gave a job break to
a newcomer Seema in our office. Earlier we had given job breaks to
Patsy, Sunil, and a few others. We have been patient with all of
them as they have made mistakes and learnt. We feel embarrassed to
accept the praises. After all, weren't we just completing the cycle
of goodness that began with someone helping us and teaching us?
Today Patsy and Sunil are pillars in our organisation.
We conduct training programs in 'Life
School'. At 'Life School, inspired by the way we live and train,
students express their gratitude. In each one of those moments we
KNOW we have just completed a circle that 'we' had as a point
earlier.
All that we teach, we have been taught
earlier. My father taught me never to give up in life. My mother
taught me acceptance. My brother taught me love. My bhabhi taught me
sacrifice. My wife taught me little is enough. My daughters taught
me focus and expressing love. My son taught me to co-operate with
life. Rajan of Alma Mater, taught me how to be passionate about
training and so much more. My uncle taught me what is friendship.
Today when people experience these
qualities in me, they admire me. It reminds me to remain grounded as
I know I am just completing a circle that they all started. There
were so many people and their contributions in my life were amazing
beautiful points. I just added one more point and completed the
circle. I cannot take credit for the entire circle !!!
Expecting appreciation, attention,
rewards and recognition will be like me wanting to take credit for
the entire circle that is made of millions of points. It is good to
remember my contribution is always just a 'point' in the circle and
never the entire circle.
When the circle is completed, the points
are not important focus any more. The circle is! When we do good and
complete a circle, WE are not important any more. The circle IS!!!
It is so easy to live with minimum
expectations from others and maximum expectations from myself with
this belief.
My friend Shyam was patiently listening
to me. I smiled and told him, "Even this explanation is age old
wisdom. All the scriptures tell us, do good and forget it, that will
give you freedom. Do good and remember it, that will give you
bondage."
He nodded his head and said, 'Yes Naren.
Expectations of rewards and recognition were actually taking away my
peace of mind." With smile he added, "I have realised what was the
root cause of my misery. It was never others, it was always me. I
will always remember what you have said."
With a naughty smile he added,
"...Thanks to you - the point and all the other points in the
circle." Both of us burst out laughing adding one point to each
others' life circle.
With love, prayers and best wishes,
naren
As I live...I learn
na...@lifeschool.co.in
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