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Dearest Darling friends,
My friend Manoj Hirani is a treasure of
wisdom. Every now and then he shares a nugget that makes me stop in
my tracks and say hmmmm. A few days ago, as I was clearing my inbox
I chanced upon one of his saved mails dated almost 6 months ago. As
I read it, almost as a standard operating procedure I smiled and
said, 'Hmmmmm'. Inspired by his mail, I am writing this Life School
Message.
 Manoj referred to a lesson that was in the 5th
standard Hindi text book.. The title of the lesson was "Chudiwale
Baba" and the other hero, the donkey was addressed as "Meri Laddo
rani".
As Manoj and his mother had just shifted
from Nigeria to India, this was his first ever exposure to a Hindi
class.
Manoj writes, "I
understood little from the story the first time. But, because I
accepted the challenge to learn the language well, I gave it my
all.
Little was I to know how
a new language and its first lesson were going to stay with me for
the rest of my journey on this beautiful planet. The lesson taught
me how important it is for me to form good habits, simply, by being
compassionate and respectful.
The lesson was about an
old man whose livelihood depended on selling bangles. His work
demanded that he carry heavy load of bangles and travel from one
village to another. To help him do so, he had a donkey. The old
man’s wrinkled face belied his enthusiasm and energy. No amount of
traveling or irate customers ever tired or irritated him.
Contrary to what is
normally done, this man always addressed his beast of burden
lovingly, never using crude or rude words. Many found that funny,
and some even found it foolish. A lady while trying the new bangles
talkatively once asked him, "How come you call the donkey so
lovingly?"
The old man with all his
wisdom, simply said, “My work involves communicating with people and
more particularly with women. If I address my donkey with harsh
words, chances are that will become my habit. Then, I will have no
control on how I speak. Why should a lady ever buy from a person who
speaks badly? That will not only affect my business adversely, but
also hurt so many customers. As I speak to my donkey lovingly, that
has become a habit with me, and I naturally speak well and nicely to
all my customers.”
Manoj writes that he
realised, he may find his way through his life purely on the basis
of his abilities, talents and skills. However, if he does not have
the ability to communicate lovingly with people, the journey of his
life will be lonely, tough and with very few friends and people - to
share his dreams, low moments, happy moments, successes and
shortcomings.
He writes, "It will
never matter to me how the other person (an irate customer? an
irresponsible friend? a not so warm family member?) communicates,
but I will remember the words of the old man - My work involves
communicating with people and more particularly with women. If I
address my donkey with harsh words, chances are that it will become
my habit. Then, I will then have no control on how I speak."
As I read Manoj's mail for the second
time I realised how true Manoj's learning was. Harsh words hurt and
mar a relationship. It nips the beauty of the relationship in the
bud. Why should I carry a habit that causes hurt and pain? I decided
never ever to be harsh with anyone.
In a worst case scenario, if I cannot
say kind words to someone....I will not say harsh words too!
Time can take a lifetime to create and
heal…..Only Love heals and creates instantaneously! I have decided
to express love in my communication and never harshness. And yes, I
will not be able to look down on a donkey or crack jokes about the
dumbness of a donkey any more. Isn't this right?
Thanks Manoj for a lesson of a life
time.
With love, prayers and best wishes,
naren
As I live...I learn
na...@lifeschool.co.in
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