Re: Will they ever change?

[Frankela Albury]

Group,

 

Will they ever change?  I was going over personal events in my life and relationships, and in my earlier days, I dealt with a guy whom I spent all of my 20's with and the early part of my 30's with.  He was not a good guy, well, not entirely.  He was a good provider a good father and family man, but he was a cheat.  I gave him numerous chances to change so we could work out, but he didn't, so after much going back and forth I ended the relationship once and for all.  Is the saying true, once a cheat always a cheat?  Can a person change if they meet the right person, or are in the right circumstance?  Does it have to do with the age of the person, how young or old they are?  Or possibly what they are allowed to get away with?  If they are a liar are they always a liar, or a thief?  You get it right.....?

 

I believe people don't necessarily change, if it's been working for them all of their lives why would they change, right?  Unless by some stroke of GOD coming face to face with them and what they've always done no longer serves them, then they are drastically a new person.  But only because it serves them and they way they live.  My opinion.

 

I'd like to know what everyone else thinks on this subject.

[Frankela Albury]

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

I like this quote as well.  Ralph Emerson also believes people don't change. 

 

Just thought I'd add....

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[Faunya Estrada]

Will they ever change? I believe that in life, change is inevitable.  Everyone does it.  However, they question is not if they will ever change, the question is how much they will change and if that change will match what you desire.

This can depend on many factors and there is not a single answer for the question.  However, I don't believe that someone will change simply because they are in the 'right' circumstance or with the 'right' person. A person's character at a point in time is their character no matter who they are with or what circumstance they are in. If they are in the mindset to cheat, they will cheat on the nagging and/or lazy companion and they will also cheat on the companion that's putting it down the way she should.

Change requires a personal commitment and change of heart.  The person has to come to the realization themselves and put in the work to change. 

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

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[Tamara Evans]

I don't know if i necessarily agree with Mr. Ralph Waldo Emerson.  I know of a few life situations that have made people make drastic changes to their character.  (i.e. birth of a child, death of a loved one, natural disaster, etc..)

 

There is a saying that says "the only thing constant in this world is change".  Basically change is inevitable.  I guess it all depends on what type of change takes place. 

 

So knowing that change is inevitable that doesn't necessary mean that the person will make a change to his/her character. 

 

But to answer the question posed "Once a cheat always a cheat?"  In my personal opinion, I don't believe this to be true.  Yes, some people will always play the field and will never settle down with just one mate.  They may have the mentality that "God didn't make man to be with just one mate, it's just not natural"  Or they just don't care they may feel as though they can't help it. 

But then there are those who may mature with age and feel as though they are ready to just be with one woman/man.  They had fun as a youngster and now it's time out for the silly games. 

There is a scripture in the bible that says "when i was a child i spake as a child, i understood as a child but now that I am a man, i have put away those childish things"

This scripture speaks volumes.

 

So yes, I believe that there are some people that do change and then there are those who will never put down that "playa" card. 

 

We all know that men mature later in life than women, It's scientific fact.  So whereas a woman may be willing to commit herself to one person at 22 that man may not be willing to commit until 32. 

[Faunya Estrada]

But....I would like to add that you should never go into any situation assuming that the person will change.  Accept the person as they are or move on right away.  Life is too short to be awaiting a change that may or may never take place.

"Do what you can, with what you have, from where you are."

- Theodore Roosevelt