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Hmmm… is blood thicker than water?
First let me say that I know I haven’t been able to respond to the other topics of discussion from this group. However I have found them and the responses very interesting and insightful when I have gotten the opportunity to review them. I promised someone that I would respond to this topic, but I just wanted to make it known that it wasn’t because it was of more interest or concern to me than the other topics that have come up. Maybe this disclosure wasn’t necessary, lol…but in any case here we go, I’m going in.
Is blood thicker than water….
As we know the statement that blood is thicker than water typically refers to the thought that family relationships are superior to regular friendships and acquaintances especially in regards to disputes. It refers to the opinion that family relationships are the most trustworthy and should be regarded more important when a problem arises.
It also is said to refer to the notion that family should always have your best interest at heart and would be invested in helping you.
However some have argued that the statement “Blood is thicker than water” has lost the nature of its original meaning which has been said to be covenant-related. “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning "My relationship with those to whom I am joined in covenant is to be considered of more value than the relationship with a brother with whom I may have shared the womb."
I did a little searching and found that its been said that during the ritual of ancient covenant making, the two parties involved would divide an animal in half, and stand together in the blood, with their right hands clasp, and swear a mutual oath binding them to each other. In some cases, each party would cut their respective hands, bind them together with the other party, allowing their blood to mingle. The resulting union of this blood oath was never to be broken. In effect, the two participants in the covenant would become "blood brothers," and thus become one flesh. The relationship born of this union was so knit, that brothers made through the blood of covenants were closer to each other than brothers who were born from the same womb. Hence, blood (of the covenant) is thicker than water (of the womb).
For those who may be religiously inclined, I’ll make mention of the scripture where Jesus was talking to a crowd of people (Matthew 12:48-50), and his mother and brothers wanted to speak with him. When someone told him that they desired to speak with him, Jesus responded by saying, “Who is my mother? And who are my brethren?” Then he stretched his hands towards his disciples and said, “Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
So in regards to some of the questions presented by Tamara (I’ll get to the facebook part in a moment) the first issue is how does one define family for themselves? And if in fact, you have friends or loved ones that are in your eyes equal to “family” how do you choose between the two if a conflict arises?
There have been countless issues of people having to choose sides or loyalty between blood related family members vs. spouses, significant others, friends, etc.
My first reaction is that I would love to be one of those people that say my family comes before all. But unfortunately I’m one of those people who have had experiences where my friends have sometimes been the loyal ones whereas some family members have done me dirty. I admire and wish that I had (not that I don’t have some loyal family members) a complete blood-related family unit that I could trust without question like some do. But that’s just not my reality. I love my blood-related family with all my heart, but my loyalty is equally given to blood family and non-blood family based on my relationships with the individuals. When conflicts have come up between a blood-related family member and non-blood related (i.e. loved ones, and very close friends) family member that happen to both be close to me, I’ve chosen to not pick sides. If anything, I’d like to be a peacemaker if at all possible. But if not, I definitely have not severed a relationship with the non-blood related family, to appease the person that I share a family name with. In one situation a non-blood related loved one has been there for me through thick and thin, sacrificed, and raised me just as much if not more than some of my actual family. So I can’t make a general statement that I’d always side one way. In those situations I make the decisions on how to interact on a case by case basis.
That being said, I have to add that this is a bit of a wish-washy subject for me. Because even though my loyalty may be distributed evenly in the midst of conflict between other parties, I’ve realized as I’m thinking it through that my patience is not distributed as evenly when directly wronged. Meaning the family that I’m actually related to, regardless of the negative situations that may occur, tend to get the typical countless rebuild and start over chances that we usually give to family no matter how much they/we mess up. But some of the non-blood related people that I currently do or have at one time considered equal to family, may get forgiveness, but may not have gotten/get the same amount of opportunities to rebuild and start over when/if a conflict has came about between them and myself.
SO, does this mean that as much as I’d like to think I hold certain people equal to family, maybe I hold them close but not really as family?
OR is my patience limited with ones that are “like family” because in actuality they are closer to me than blood, and tend to be the ones that I’ve shared my experiences of the ups and downs of situations with life, my blood-related family, every day occurrences, etc. and therefore have an expectation that they should know what lines not to cross because I’ve confided, and shared experiences with them in many cases more than I have with my blood family? Hmmm….
Finally, in regards to the facebook question:
If I have a beef with someone I don’t automatically expect a mutual third party to cut off that person just because I had beef with them on or off of Facebook. I know some people choose to do so, and I can’t knock how someone else chooses to operate. That’s their prerogative. And of course in some cases, if a person is only on your page to cause trouble or they’re somehow sabotaging another through your connection with them, then yes I feel like I’d sever ties. But just because my friend says so? Sorry, but no. A friend of mine asked me to delete a person my from my page. I told them no. I love that friend dearly. And to be honest my answer was more about me feeling like my friend has control issues with her friends (that started before facebook) than it was about the person she asked me to delete. I don’t even talk to the other person that I was asked to delete. Do I hold less loyalty now because of facebook? Sometimes just as we have control issues that need be dealt with in romantic relationships, the same can occur in plutonic/family relationships. When you love/care about someone you want to see their love reciprocated towards you. And often times, if they don’t express it in the exact way that we tell them to then we take it as if their love/appreciation/friendship isn’t equal to ours. And that’s not necessarily always the case. I do believe that love and loyalty need to be shown, and sometimes that requires giving what is requested. But sometimes when we do abide by the request its not because of loyalty or love. Its just to prove that I’ve done what was demanded. And depending on the person and situation, that doesn’t always help matters, but instead perpetuates a negative habit of “if you don’t do everything I say and expect you to do then you don’t care.” That’s a slippery slope. But I’ll stop with that right here, because that can turn into another whole conversation in and of itself.
But anyway if I’m a true friend, I will be that regardless of FB connections. And if I’m not a true friend, the depth of my lack of loyalty is not going to be able to be completely measured by a person being on my facebook friends list.
And I have to add…I mean no disrespect to my gender, but I have yet to hear one guy in my age range complain about a friend of theirs who is still friends with another guy on facebook that they have beef with, LOL. I know that both guys and girls delete people from their page, because sometimes it’s called for. But it seems to be that if the mutual friend deletes them by their own decision, fine. If they don’t, fine. But in regards to them getting uptight about their friends still having that person still on their page…I never hear it. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen with men, because maybe somewhere it has. But every time I hear about this issue directly or indirectly from people and situations it is always females who have issues with it. And once again, no disrespect to my gender, but I sometimes feel like some of the things we get twisted about can be catty and juvenile. I’m guilty of it too. Let me be clear. I’m NOT calling anyone on or off this group catty or juvenile, I’m saying that I personally feel if I was to say to my friend “don’t be FB friends with Jane Doe, because I’m not FB friends with her” I’d feel like I was right back in high school having those conversations with my friends like I did back then, lol! But that’s just me. Jai gave the situation of her friends ex, and how she chose to handle it. And I respect her way of handling it cause that’s her. I know a couple of my friends if they were reading this would completely disagree with my opinions on this matter, and that’s ok, cause that’s them.
Much love to everyone!
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I concur with Para's statement. I couldn't said it better myself
Yes I'd try and smooth things over. Especially if its my really close friend. I don't have a rob of friends. I have 2 that I consider close I don't really don't want to choose. I would need full details of what happened. My 2 friends are like family to me & honestly speaking they've had My back when I've had no one around. That's not friendships I'd easily let go of.
I don't think that's a negative thing. I have 2 best friends. If it were an acquaintance or someone I'm not so close to I would dead them without a second thought
If Donnie did some foul stuff to me, would you choose sides or try to remain neutral or find out what happened & smooth things over. After all I'm your blood
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I don't think that's a negative thing. I have 2 best friends. If it were an acquaintance or someone I'm not so close to I would dead them without a second thought
If Donnie did some foul stuff to me, would you choose sides or try to remain neutral or find out what happened & smooth things over. After all I'm your blood
Exactly thanks for allowing me to clarify
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I have strong feelings toward boyfriend/girlfriend/marriage & family. Family not friends. To me in that case, the subject becomes very touchy. Because when you have immediately family members of whom you are very close too, and you come upon a problem between them & your relationship. That party needs to do all that they can to resolve the matter. Because I feel, I'll always be your sister & have your back. They may not always be your husband or wife. And if you sever our relationship for your spouse & one day your spouse does you wrong or leaves you, its your close relative you'll need to lean on in that time of trouble & they not being there for you will as much if not more than what your spouse has done.
I've seen people choose spouses over mothers/sisters/brothers & children. And end the end blood is blood & spouses don't have to stay & looking at divorce rates usually don't.
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thank you! I joined 2day.
On Dec 23, 2010 2:58 PM, <tamara...@gmail.com> wrote:
I agree with you Nia.
BTW - Welcome to our group. I hope u find the topics of interest to you. When did you join?
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-----Original Message-----
From: Nia Marie <deedee...@gmail.com>
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Date: Thu, 23 Dec 2010 11:28:01
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I really don't have 2 many TRUE friends but the ones I do have are my
FAMILY & I treat them as such ...
This a girl topic today! But I will say, 1. How old are we? 2. We are talking about Facebook Friends! Men typically don't have these types of issue, so we typically don't worry about this or that stuff. But I would much rather keep peace and smooth things over. But its really no reason for us all to lose a friend when that did anything to me. Sure what they did or didn't do was bad but I wasnt directly affected. So I just have to learn to keep two worlds separate.
This a girl topic today! But I will say, 1. How old are we? 2. We are talking about Facebook Friends! Men typically don't have these types of issue, so we typically don't worry about this or that stuff. But I would much rather keep peace and smooth things over. But its really no reason for us all to lose a friend when that did anything to me. Sure what they did or didn't do was bad but I wasnt directly affected. So I just have to learn to keep two worlds separate.
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My name is AntoNIA but my friends call me NIA & a member of this group invited me 2 join. NE MORE QUESTIONS POLICE???!!!
On Dec 23, 2010 4:47 PM, "Faunya Estrada" <faunya....@gmail.com> wrote:
Yeah, sounds a little selfish, fearful & disloyal to me.
So, it doesn't matter if a friend hurt or did something foul to your family member or spouse.....as long as it wasn't you they hurt, you'll just pretend they never did anything wrong & keep the two relationships separate?
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On Dec 23, 2010 4:07 PM, Donnie estrada <estra...@gmail.com> wrote:
This a girl topic today! Bu...
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Its not wat u say its how u say it!!!! Wat she said came off as offensive. No beef though! Its nice 2 meet everyone
On Dec 23, 2010 6:52 PM, <tamara...@gmail.com> wrote:
Yes, I do have 1 more question... WHO invited you??
Don't get me wrong. We welcome new people and different opinions, but no one seems to know who you are or who invited you.
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From: antonia parker <deedee...@gmail.com>
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My name is AntoNIA but my friends call me NIA & a member of this group invited me 2 join. NE MORE QU...
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