Or forever if it were me with the one eye open thing. Otherwise, I agree with Faunya
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Most of those relationships and marriages end not because of a person past secrecy but something that occurred while married and/or dating. If I had sex with 150 men should I tell my spouse. Hey I've had 150 men, 74 were one night stands I went down on 107 etc... no!!! I'd say I'm no angel I've been around and was quite wild before I met you. No need for full details. I'm tested & clean & I wont cheat.
Sorry had to stop my hands got cold. Now don't get me wrong honesty is best. But some instances don't require full disclosure unless it directly effects your relationship. Like if you r raped & have problems with intimacy or u contracted an STD (that should always be disclosed). Or if you have 10 kids & 9 possible. Or a stalker ex whose getting out of prison. Most things should be disclosed over time. But somethings just don't matter much.
I'll give an example from my own life. My ex and I were out once chilling with some friends and he proceeded to tell a story about a girl he had sex with then he said how it was a one night stand. Now first let me say I knew he'd slept with a number of women, but he didn't know that one night stands disgust me. So this story made me lose my appetite and I couldn't be intimate with that image for about 2 weeks. That was something I just never needed to know. But if he had a female friend whom he once dated & was intimate with but failed to tell me. That's something that if found out would cause problems in our relationship.
The past should be told only is if it happens to or potentially can cause an issue in our current relationship. It should be a choice tell, I used to watch porn or pay for strippers as a young teen age boy. That has nothing to do with our future. Being that now I'm more mature, born again God fearing man. The problem is often times knowing to much can cause more damage then Good. Say this person is the right person for you, all that you ever wanted in a man. And the one day 5 years later, he tells you, he used to have a doll, named penlapee LOL. But for you that is strange and start looking to deep into and cause major issues because of this mans weird lifestyle. Bottomline if the past doesn't and wont effect the future then it shouldn't matter. Its only being deceitful if the past is still active and kept on the low. Not if the past is dead. Let the dead be with the dead and the living with the living ( whatever it says)
And another thing lets take the negative deceit out of the picture, but lets look at it this way. Sh
Sorry about! But should a women tell her husband ( jealous husband) another man hit on her today at work? Or should that be kept secret? I just feel like somethings that should be kept secret is all negative and that we all have a bit of deceitfulness in us now, in some form of fashion. But we live our relationship as normal no harm done
That is true but just because I don't care to my past, that I've been changed from doesn't label me a being deceitful. Deceitful is when one is acting one way but really living a life of a different person and keeping that a secret. But if I changed before you and yet to regress back to that lifestyle, then what's it to you? Will being your friend for many years, if I told you one day now that before I meet you, I was a male prostitute. Would that change how you look at me today? Or would it even matter at this point in life?
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So I guess the word change doesn't mean anything to you? Meaning if I did it once or twice but decided not to anymore, I guess that persons decision to change and never repeat or think about or want to remember. Side bar a person would never totally forget there past, so it will always be there but how they react about the past is what matters. But all I am saying don't label if they are a good man or women in life now.
I guess we shall see ;) or you wont really see being its going to the grave with me! LOL