Advice Needed

[Jai Jones]

 A woman has a close male friend. He confides in her that he has been diagnosed with HIV. He is in a sexually active relationship with a woman and has decided not to tell the woman. He says they always use protection. (side eye) Anyway the woman wants to know if she should tell the guys girlfriend because the girlfriend is a single mother and has no clue that she could be putting her  life in danger.

 

I didn't know what to tell the lady. On one hand...I'd be tempted to want to warn a woman!! On the other...I'd hate to be going around "outing" someone who is infected. That's just MEAN as all get out. On the third hand if there is one, he needs to tell her HIMSELF! What's his frikkin problem? What would you do??

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*Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It is beyond me.-Zora Neale Hurston

[Frankela Albury]

Such a hard question. I'd tell the girlfriend in an anonymous way.  I'd get her email off of FB and make a fake email address and tell her the info.  Saying you can't reveal who you are but she should be tested.

Btw: I'm hoping and or assuming she's tested on a regular bases at least one a year.

But she needs & deserves to know.  Ask the Guy before the email Is sent when he plans to tell his gf.

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[Angella Middleton]

Wow...this is deep.

 

I would definitely WANT to tell.  It's completely unfair and just plain wrong to gamble with someone else's life like that.  Bottom line, his partner deserves to know.

 

I would, however, also be leary about taking it in my own hands to "out" anyone - unless the partner was a friend of mine, then I might feel an obligation.  Otherwise, I would do my best to convince my HIV+ friend to tell her, even to the point of threatening that if he doesn't tell her I would.  I might also consider finding a way to tell the partner anonymously.  If the friend still refuses, I'm not sure exactly what I would do, but I do know that I would have a hard time sitting on that kind of information and doing nothing.  Just seems wrong to me.

 

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[Faunya Estrada]

I would try to convince my friend to tell his girlfriend and make him understand why it is so important for him to tell.  It's very selfish (and a little evil, in my opinion) for him not to tell someone he cares about that he has this incurable virus that could mistakenly be contracted and lead to death.  If he refused, I would tell.  I would want some one to tell me, whether they were my friend or not. So, I would do the same.

 

Caveats:

1)   I would first try my best to get my friend to tell his girlfriend, himself.

2)   I would likely find a way to tell the girlfriend, anonymously.....though if my male friend didn't really tell other people, he'd likely figure out that I was the one who told.

3)   If he didn't tell himself, I'd likely be so disgusted with him that I'd have to distance our friendship.  I can't say that I'd completely cut him off, but we definitely wouldn't be as close as we were.  Why?  He's not trustworthy.....and if he would lie about something so detrimental to save his relationship with his girlfriend, he would do the same to me.

4)   I'm getting a little angry just thinking about this.  :-/

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"Do what you can, with what you have, from where you are."
- Theodore Roosevelt

 

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People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.
  - Frederick Douglass