Love Guru Streaming
Maybell Hughs
I'm down with "The Love Guru." The comedy stars Myers as Guru Pitka, a publicity-craving spiritual guru aiming to resolve a marital conflict between Toronto Maple Leafs star Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" fame) and his wife (Meagan Good), who's begun dating a goalie from the Los Angeles Kings (Justin Timberlake). In the process, Guru Pitka learns a few things himself -- and gets fresh with the Leafs' owner (Alba) -- and the sports fan comes away the richer.
But to hear Blitz readers and industry insiders tell it, there are many reasons why you, the ticket buyer, might not see this flick, which opens nationwide Friday. Among them: (A) you're not hot about the trailer, a complaint I've heard from many readers and more than a few editors; (B) you'd rather see the other big summer comedy, "Get Smart," which also opens Friday; (C) you're too young to remember "Austin Powers;" (D) you're too old to either laugh or punch someone when you hear a fart sound; (E) you've heard the press about the Hindu community's so-called boycott of the film; or (F) you're Tiger Woods, and it's about hockey, and that's that.
1) LIKE THE SHAGADELIC SPY, GURU PITKA IS BATTLE TESTED: "In 1994, I debuted two characters at a stage show. One was Austin Powers. The other was the Guru Pitka. Then, about four years ago, I started doing stage shows in New York City as the character, developing his philosophy, with 50 percent of the audience not knowing who I was. I did the same thing with Austin Powers and throughout my entire career. Movies go through a testing process, and the response has been the best response of any movie I've ever worked on."
2) THERE'S A JOKE A MINUTE, AND MANY OF THEM SOUND FUNNY: "What can I say? I'm English [by heritage], and we like silly comedies. I like super, super intellectual jokes, and I like super, super dumb jokes. Like farting in a cup."
3) HEY, REMEMBER SIR BEN KINGSLEY? YEAH, HE FARTS IN THIS, TOO: "Yes, that's right. Sir Ben Kingsley. He plays the Guru Tugginmypuddha. Like Master Po in 'Kung Fu,' he's Guru Pitka's guru. He totally understood that we're making a fun movie with a good message. He was hilarious."
4) ALBA ISN'T JUST GREAT TO LOOK AT … "We had mutual friends, and I heard only the loveliest things about her. This is how we came to have a meeting of the minds about this movie. As it turns out, Jessica is a great comedian, a great actress and a lovely, lovely person."
6) TIMBERLAKE, BABY! "Justin plays Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande, a French-Canadian goalie for the L.A. Kings and the, uh, most well-endowed player in the NHL. I first met Justin at a 'Shrek the Third' party. He was so hilarious. He and I did comedy bits for two hours, even after everyone had gone home. Ever since, I had in the back of my mind that someday I'd write something for him. Justin came to play. His French-Canadian accent is spot on, and his Tony Esposito butterfly stance is completely authentic. The man is made of talent. But is Justin well endowed? I wouldn't have any firsthand knowledge of that."
8) THE GUY FROM "THE DAILY SHOW" PLAYS A PEYOTE-LOVIN' BROADCASTER: "Every sports comedy has to have good announcers, and by having Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan play ours, I feel like the luckiest filmmaker in the world. Fifty percent of what they said, they made up. They're brilliant improvisers and really hilarious in this movie. I'm in awe of their genius."
9) IF YOU'RE A LEAFS FAN, THIS WILL HOLD YOU OVER: "I was born in '63, and '67 is the last time the Maple Leafs won the Cup. We Toronto fans, we're long suffering. I want my Cup now, so this movie is a fantasy come true. And it's starting to feel like it's my only chance to see the Leafs win it all."
11) SUPPORT DIVERSITY, PEOPLE: "'Tiger Woods of Hockey' was the movie's shorthand for Darren Roanoke. When I was growing up, you couldn't find anyone from Czechoslovakia in the league, except for Stan Mikita. He was considered ethnically diverse. Now, it's a growing and very diverse sport. I wanted inclusion. I wanted to say, 'Everybody, come on in! This sport is wonderful.'"
12) THE BACKLASH FROM THE HINDU COMMUNITY? "It's one dude. And he hadn't seen the film. When he sees it, he'll see that the philosophies in this film are completely made up, like the Force in 'Star Wars.'"
13) BESIDES, DEEPAK DIGS IT: "Deepak Chopra's in this. He was very inspirational to me when my father passed away in '91 and I first started thinking about this character. He inspired me to broaden my horizons and read all philosophy. He's just a brainiac, and he has a great sense of humor about the world and himself. As Guru Pitka says in the film, 'To be enlightened is to lighten up.' And that lesson I've learned from Deepak Chopra."
14) BRING A DATE: "The teachings are made up but not irrelevant. I wanted to deliver, in a silly, fun way, something I actually believe, and that is: Everybody is responsible for their own health and happiness. Everybody is responsible for themselves, and in love, you have to love yourself first before you love another. And that's the message of the film, a message that means a lot to me."
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Guru Pitka is an American-born, India-trained "guru" with a broad accent and wacky facial hair -- many have questioned whether he's an intrinsically racist character. Although Pitka's message to the world is one of love, he pushes that message as a way to gain influence and prestige. Any other messages are overshadowed by the incessant bathroom humor, from elephants defecating on screen to students "training" by striking one another with urine-soaked mops. Pitka is seen pulling various objects from his anus and, in a yoga-mocking sight gag, with his own head up his anus. Other jokes rely on food and diagrams that look like male genitalia. Women are often portrayed as attractive background decor, although many female characters are also strong, assertive, and loving. Jokes play on the stereotype that Indian people work in customer support, and a diminutive character is constantly referred to as "Frodo," "elf," "hobbit," and so on.
Extensive violence throughout (generally played for comedy), including everything from on-ice hockey fight action (a blood-streaked tooth is spat onto the ice) to scuffles. The lead character suffers a bloody attack by a "guard rooster" and is later seen with the rooster's severed head in his teeth; characters punch each other; a mock-comedy bar fight breaks out; a supporting character pulls a bloody piece of glass from a gash in his forehead on-camera.
Constant crude sexual language and references, including (but most definitely not limited to) a character renowned for his endowment and references to erections, masturbation, and oral sex. The title character wears a chastity belt, which is often seen; he also has scantily clad minions. References to pet stylists who became charity workers "going from doggie style to the missionary position." References to syphilis and crude catchphrases like "eatin' ain't cheatin" and the double-entendre "Liquor up front, poker in the rear." References to youthful lesbian experimentation for comedic effect. Oral sex is mimed using a corn dog. A character is praised for her "great rack" and "bell-shaped ass." Multiple genital and erection jokes involving sound effects, whether from striking a chastity belt or the organ in question striking the floor (both mercifully unseen).
A sportscaster makes extensive references to his stint in rehab for the abuse of "peyote buttons and Frangelico." At one point, he relapses on-air. Alcohol is mentioned as a way of enhancing connection and communication. The sing-along finale includes a lyric with the phrase "midnight toker," which another character later repeats while exhaling the smoke of an unknown substance from a hookah.
Parents need to know that the many kids who like Austin Powers are going to be eager to see Mike Myers' latest ribald comedy about a wacky, catchphrase-spouting character in goofy makeup who enjoys vulgar misadventures before finally managing to triumph (especially since it costars Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake). But this movie has a coarser feel than the Powers trio. The language and sexual innuendoes are constant, unsubtle, and over the top (expect everything from an elephant pooping on screen to references to masturbation and oral sex); there are drinking and drug references; and products and brand names are almost as prevalent as Myers' cheeky grin. That's a whole lot of iffy content to sit through for only a few laughs. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails.
In THE LOVE GURU, Mike Myers plays Guru Pitka, a self-help expert whose mystical and mischievous teachings on love and sex have made him second only to Deepak Chopra in the self-help world. Looking for the big gig that will push him to number one, Pitka takes on the job of repairing the damaged relationship between star hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his ex-girlfriend -- she left him for a rival goalie, which has thrown off Darren's game and is endangering the team's chances in the playoffs. As a potential romance blooms between Pitka and the team's owner, Jane (Jessica Alba), Pitka takes shortcuts to helping Darren. Will he do the right thing and sacrifice the trappings of success to truly succeed?
For all of The Love Guru's attempts at positive messages, there's a lot of crude comedy to sit through. And while it's hard to say quantitatively whether the film is more or less crude than the Austin Powers films, The Love Guru is certainly less funny. Making fun of self-help is one thing, but Myers wants to pass on wisdom as well as make jokes about passing gas; the movie somehow feels childishly rude and curiously smug at the same time. The problem isn't that Pitka is too much of a departure from Austin Powers -- the problem, in many ways, is that Pitka isn't, from his sex-obsessed ways to his catchphrases to his silly self-confidence.
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