Collection of dineshjk

[Dinesh Karia]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 OMG

 

Old v/s New

 

• Old: A miss is as good as a mile (meaning, even if you miss a target by very small amount, it is the same as you miss it by miles.
• New: A miss is as good as Mr.
• Old: You can't teach an old dog new tricks
• New: You can't teach an old dog math.
• Old: love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. (Shakespeare)
• New: love all, trust me.
• Old: Two is company, three's a crowd.
• New: Two is company, three's… The Musketeers.
• Old: None are so blind as those who will not see.
• New: None are so blind as… Helen Keller.
• When the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
• When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way.

 

 

 

 

Do you know:

 

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 Funny Quotes:

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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

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Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.

Indira Gandhi

 

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The computer is a moron.
  - Peter Drucker

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
  - Peter da Silva

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
  - Mogens Jallberg

 

 

 

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Laughter is the best medicine:

 

 

 

 Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
 

 

 

 

 

 

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

 

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What do you do if a sardar throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

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We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
  - Nick Faldo

 

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Girl: Do you love me? 

Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

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Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.
 

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Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Boy: No comb, Sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Boy: No hair, Sir.
 

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A beggar- 'Oh sundari ! Andha hoon. Sawa paanch rupya de de.. "
Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai...
 

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Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives
"Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service".
 

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What is d similarity btwin Priyanka Gandhi & Fiat Uno ?

Do u know?

both are made by indians with

italian support.
 

 

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DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

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PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER


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ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

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DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT


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THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE


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GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE


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THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

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SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


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ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY


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ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


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MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


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SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


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A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE


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THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE


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AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


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 A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.
 

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A playground is no less a place of learning than the most venerable of universities. (Read on Wikiversity)

 

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