Preparing For Anal Sex
Chieko Wachowski
At least, under most circumstances. Unless you and your partner(s) are sexually monogamous and have all been tested recently, you should use condoms (or dental dams for oral) during anal sex to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and HIV, Natasha Chinn, M.D., a New Jersey-based ob-gyn, tells SELF. Yup, you can get STIs via your butt.
One last thing worth noting: The are a few more precautions and things to keep in mind about anal sex if you or your partner has a GI issue. For more information, you can check out this article on the topic.
Dr. Janet Brito is a nationally certified Latinx sex therapist, supervisor, speaker, trainer, and author. Dr. Brito is the founder and owner of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, a group practice that specializes in relationship and sex therapy, out of control sexual behavior, and gender and sexually diverse populations, and The Sexual Health School, an online training program for healthcare professionals seeking human sexuality training.
A little prep goes a long way when it comes to anal sex, especially for beginners. That extra time can pay off tenfold in the way of increased intimacy, sheet-twisting pleasure, and possibly an orgasm or two.
Anal sex is genuinely having a moment. Never in recent history has butt play been talked about so openly or actively. Yet, there remains a ton of misinformation, negative stigma, and unfortunate first-time experiences that continue to deter many folks from adding anal onto their pleasure menu.
The truth is that anal is a whole other option for pleasure and can produce some pretty mind-blowing orgasms. The key to making anal play pleasurable is education. It's not rocket science, but it does require preparation and knowledge. Read ahead to learn all our tips and tricks on anal hygiene and how to prepare for anal sex.
We've got your backside covered.
When it comes to first time anal, feeling a finger, toy, or penis can be an unfamiliar sensation. Practicing solo anal play gives you the chance to be both the giver and the receiver, which is super helpful when you add another person to the mix.
Knowing how anal masturbation feels on both sides of the experience can make things work better when you're with a partner. A lot of people discover that they're better givers when they know what it's like to receive, and vice versa.
Anal hygiene is one of the most common concerns that people have about anal play. Type in "Anal Hygiene" or "How do porn stars prepare for anal?" on Google, Quora or Reddit, and you'll find the same tips shared over and over again.
EASY CLEAN: Go to the bathroom 30-60 minutes before anal play. Empty your bowels and wash the anal area with regular soap and warm water. Unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes are a great alternative. For most people, this method of cleaning is enough.
For some people, it means ending their sexual session. For others, it means cleaning up, taking a quick shower, and then doing something different once they get back into bed. You and your partner get to decide what feels best for you.
It's also a good idea to prep a couple of hours in advance if you can. Why? Because water can get trapped in the folds of the rectum and can take a little time to come out. So make sure to stay near a bathroom until it does.
Enemas are designed to go further and deeper into the intestines to fully flush out your bowels. They generally are much more intense and used to relieve medical issues and constipation. Some enemas use chemicals to induce contractions or break down feces within your bowels, making it much easier to push out. However, frequent use of enemas can rid your gut of valuable and healthy bacteria and do harm to your overall digestion.
PROS: Some people love the sight, scent, and even texture of body hair. Ask your partner what they're into and also consider what you like. If you're not down to shave or wax your b-hole, you don't have to.
Laser hair removal exposes your hair follicles to laser light that destroys them, preventing the production of hair and greatly lessening future hair growth. While effective, the process is not permanent and can require multiple visits before achieving your results.
Electrolysis is another alternative that involves a trained electrologist threading a thin wire under the surface of the skin to zap hair roots and entirely destroy them. While the process can be more painful than lasers and takes longer to see results, it is the most permanent form of safe hair removal.
Practicing safe sex also means arming yourself with knowledge about STIs and how to prevent them. Knowing your status and learning how to have that all-important conversation with partners new and old about your STI status, preferred barriers and boundaries. Gives you a strong foundation to having an amazing anal play experience, while ensuring that everyone involved can make better choices for their health and safety.
NO! As noted in our article on Anal Fissures, you need to stop putting things up your butt when you have anal fissures. Allowing a fissure to heal fully is important so that you can get back to not only having a comfortable day-to-day life, but to resume bottoming!
The best tips for anal fissures is to never get them in the first place! You can do this by properly dilating, not over-douching, and avoiding poppers to keep your booty hole from accepting more than it can accommodate.
While many people love anal sex and would enjoy adding it to their sexual repertoire, not everyone does. Some people have never tried it. Some people have tried it, and it didn't work out due to discomfort or pain. Others have had partners pressure them into it. And unfortunately, some people have experienced sexual trauma with anal play.
The best time to bring up the topic is when you aren't having sex. If your partner isn't into anal play, for any reason, that talk will be a lot easier when there isn't a lot of erotic energy going on. One useful way to lead up to the conversation is to say something like:
Some folks will be an enthusiastic yes. But others might need some time to think about it, especially if they've had uncomfortable experiences in the past. If their answer isn't an immediate yes, tell your partner that you don't want to pressure them at all. Ask them if they'd like to take some time to decide.
One of the most common reasons for uncomfortable or painful anal play is not knowing how to do it right. You can offer your partner a lot of reassurance during your anal talk by telling them that you've been doing your research.
If your partner isn't into anal sex, do your best not to pressure them or try to convince them to change their mind. That's far more likely to cause problems than improve things. The best thing you can do is thank your partner for being honest with you about what they want.
If your partner has a firm limit around anal play, the best thing to do is accept that and look for other ways to enjoy sex together. Remember, there are lots of ways to have sex, and anal play is only one option.
Aftercare is the act of taking care of your partner after sex. It thanks our partners for sharing themselves with us, and reminds them that our concern for their pleasure and well-being doesn't stop with the orgasms.
Whatever you do, follow our general aftercare rule that the higher you fly, the softer you should pad the landing. While gently fingering someone's ass might require a simple "How's your tush feeling?", a long session of anal penetration will likely require much more.
And that's all there is to it! Enjoyed this article on anal hygiene? You'll love our brand new guides on anal training, analingus tips (that's oral sex on the anus!), prostate orgasms, and stainless steel sex toys. p.s. Head on over to our sister-brand Le Wand to learn why wand vibes are rapidly becoming everyone's favorite sex toy.
Amazingly I have come to like this fissure as crazy as it sounds and as miserable and painful as it may be. But it might actually be pretty cool to live with it, just to see how strong I am to live my entire life with it. This is assuming I live to 74 because I am 34 right now, chances are I may make it to around 60 years old so I might only have to live with this fissure for 26 more years.
I was going to HVAC school but I will abandon the school from this week because a fissure would prevent me from doing work like that, because I need to prepare for a life with a fissure. The idea of driving Taxi sounds pretty good.
Hi John, I hope you don't give up on your HVAC schooling. If you are close to finishing your studies there just get it over with. 20+ years from now is too far to project your current condition. Taxi driving is great as an option but remember you will be dealing with a major sore between your bum. Make sure to find a cushion you can sit on for hours. bring an emergency AF kit with you that has pain medication and ointment, thermis to hold hot water to use your sitz bath to help you a long your shift. Mark out rest stops in case you have to drop off the kids to the swimming hole. Probably best to evacuate your bowels before any shift. I know you know but its a great reminder. The only good thing about AF is losing weight. Liking it I can not agree with since we Sacrifice so much because of the horrible pain.
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