Re: Smile please ...

[CHANDRA SHEKHAR BORKAR]

The most dreaded word- 'WIFE'.

Yet enjoy the anecdotes sent herewith.

Regards and Best Wishes
C B BORKAR

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Chandrakant Matange <cmat...@gmail.com>
Date: 22 May 2012 18:59
Subject: Smile please ...
To:

 

 

An airline introduced a special package for businessmen. Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.

 

After great success, the airline sent letters to all the wives asking how was the trip.

 

All of them gave the same reply, "Which trip?"

 

 

Husband was seriously ill. After thorough examination, doctor sent him outside to wait.

 

Doctor to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant to him and keep him in good mood, don’t discuss your problems, don’t demand new clothes or gold jewels. Do this for one year and he will be ok.

 

On the way home, husband asked wife: What did the doctor say?

 

Wife: No matter what we do for you, you are going to die!

 

 

An intelligent wife is one who spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman.

 

 

Wife buys a new phone and decides to surprise her husband who is sitting in the living room.

 

She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband from the new number: "Hello darling!"

 

The husband responds in a low tone: "Let me call you back later honey, the dumb lady is in the kitchen..”

 

 

Cool message by a woman: Dear mother-in-law, "don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement."

 

 

A kid was beaten by his mom.

 

Dad came home and asked, “What happened son?”

 

Kid said, “I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.”

 

 

In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.

 

Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!

 

Santa: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery of my camera..

 

 

What is the difference between mother and wife?

 

A – One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

 

 

Husband and wife are like 2 tyres of a vehicle.

 

If one punctures, the vehicle can't move further.

 

Moral: Always keep a spare tyre....

 

 

What's the similarity between chewing gum and begum (wife) ??

 

Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the end..

 

 

Love is life,

life is wife,

wife is knife and

knife is dangerous.

 

 

A man came home late at night after a party.

 

His wife yelled: "How would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"

 

The man couldn’t believe his luck.

 

He blurted out: 'That would be great'!

 

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......

 

Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....

 

On Thursday his swelling became better and now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

 

 

You know why the word woman starts with 'w'?

 

Because all questions start with "w".. !

Who ?

Why ?

What ?

When ?

Which ?

Whom ?

Where ?

&

finally wife..!!!

 

 

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate, hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches how to choose a wife.

 

Natural disasters just happen.

 

 

Wife: last night I had a dream that you were sending me jewellery and clothes! Just then my eyes opened.

 

Husband: Yeah, you didn’t see the end of that dream where I saw your dad paying the bill!!!

 

 

A recently fired stock trader said, "This is worse than divorce. I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."

 

 

Message of the year:-

 

Women live a better, longer and peaceful life..!!

 

Why?

 

Very simple... A woman does not have a wife..!!!

 

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