Re: Download Mastizaade Movies In Hindi Hd
Jordi Drake
For this is a pointedly stupid film, a sloppily written paean to horndogs, a work of juvenile perversion. A hundred-minute excuse to stare at a woman while constantly eating bananas, Mastizaade is a confused, unfunny, and ultimately impotent disaster.
But let us first get things straight.
When I call it exploitative, I don't mean the film's makers take advantage of leading lady Sunny Leone -- to the contrary, this is an absolute star turn from her and she is always, unmistakably, holding the reins. But more on that in a bit.
What Mastizaade does is shamelessly and pathetically prey on a certain repressed section of the audience, by serving up an unforgivably brain-dead offering designed to appeal to their basest instincts.
Naturally the makers will take the age-old Pablo Escobar excuse -- that the very demand for a product justifies its manufacture and sale -- but we should all know better than drug-traffickers, one hopes.
Look, there's nothing wrong with stupid films. Or, heaven forbid, with sexy films. Or films that delight in being a cross between the two. Yet, if such objects to arouse pre-pubescent sweat must be made, why can't they be funny? Why can't there be one decently crafted joke? Why can't there be real characters or a real story?
Surely even cleavage-obsessed filmmakers ought to, at first, be filmmakers, yes? So, dear randy directors-to-be, why can't you loyally remake Porky's or the Carry On movies or simply, in a take on American Pie, let some kid diddle a dhokla?
One of the fundamental problems with Hindi sex-comedies (or porn-coms or whatever they are calling themselves now) is that nobody really has sex, they merely nudge and wink enough times to give Eric Idle a hiccuping fit.
Milap Zaveri's Mastizaade kicks off with two willing young girls leaping onto 'heroes' Tushhar Kapoor and Vir Das, but there is no kissing or fondling -- instead of making out, both sets of couples accost each other like epileptic mimes. This flaccid amateurishness runs through the whole film -- it isn't ballsy enough to get dirty but it wants to use a few dirty-sounding words.
The film is about two boys who -- in a blatant bit of product placement with tragic implications for the brand involved -- wear Lawman Jeans to prey on women in rehab by getting them drunk.
There is no such restraint on the other end. Kapoor, an old-hand at the innuendo-filled genre, is painfully desperate to plunge into the madness, and we should all read something into the fact that his character is, oddly enough, named Sunny.
Sunny herself, who plays oh-so-creatively named twins Laila and Lily Lele, is an absolute star.
Mastizaade doesn't feel like a real film till she shows up, all glamorous and grinning and completely in-on-the-joke, more even than the director. Her mock-horrified expressions are priceless, and even when dancing along to a song that tastelessly appears to abuse her by co-opting the Punjabi word for 'more,' she's the one taking control by joyously leading the jig.
Leone commits to the parts and campily plays up to the camera, and -- while this may appear exaggerated considering the rest of this film's cast -- her screen presence proves to be striking and, more importantly, bright. Here is a girl acting sincerely in an utterly idiotic movie, sure, but it's great to see such a self-aware turn -- she even mocks the infantilisation of the male gaze by cocking a snook at her own hit Baby Doll -- and to watch Leone visibly, and infectiously, having fun. Properly directed, here's an actress waiting to impress.
Alas, to nobody's surprise, nothing else works.
Yes! India is a country that is filled with hypocrisy anddouble standards and there are no two ways about it. From the politicians tothe laymen, everyone wants to just be on the safer side always without beingany sort of an offender. Now, why is this so common in our country? The factorsare but innumerable, the first being that people don't have freedom of speech. Inspite of it being our fundamental right, we just cannot express ourselves outin the open. You might offend someone or the
Yes! India is a country that is filled with hypocrisy anddouble standards and there are no two ways about it. From the politicians tothe laymen, everyone wants to just be on the safer side always without beingany sort of an offender. Now, why is this so common in our country? The factorsare but innumerable, the first being that people don't have freedom of speech. Inspite of it being our fundamental right, we just cannot express ourselves outin the open. You might offend someone or the other resulting in situations thatcould trigger wars. Yeah! Sad that it's so bad.
The recent controversies that revolve around 'Udta Punjab' has angered many. From the fans to the media to Bollywoodcelebrities, everyone has spoken against Pahlaj Nihalani's stupid comments onthe title and the cuss words in the movie. Everyone has come in support of themovie which now has over 90 cuts and CBFC demands removal of Punjab from thetitle as it puts the state in bad light. It's quite depressing that reality istrying to be hidden and what should've been banned ran in the theatres incomplete swing. Here's a list of 10 movies that CBFC should have banned, butdidn't.
Vulgarity isn't this Sunny Leone-starrer's biggest problem,lack of originality is. An adult comedy that was not just vulgar but had astoryline that did not impress anyone who enjoyed original cinema. Ever heardof irrelevant movies that you wouldn't watch even if you're paid a bomb? Well,Mastizaade totally falls into that category where Sunny Leone plays a doublerole Lily and Laila Lele who organize treatments for sex addicts. Mastizaade isfilled with situations and character traits familiar from numerous otherraunchy Bollywood comedies of the past two decades, right down to a scene inwhich Tusshar and Vir Das are spotted in an awkward position where they appearto be - but are not - boinking each other and a horse.
Another disaster of a movie that released just a week beforeMastizaade, Kya Kool Hain Hum 3 had almost a similar kind of a script. Sosimilar that Tusshar Kapoor was Kanhaiyya Lele in the movie and Sunny Leoneshared a similar surname in Mastizaade. Openly declaring itself as India'sfirst porn-com, the censor board was definitely high on drugs for it didn't seethe vulgarity in the trailer itself. Even though the there were almost 150 cutsfrom the movie, but the CBFC still let the preposterously gross poster releaseand then eventually the movie ran in the theatres for weeks together. Oh andalso, this movie is on Youtube!
Sunny Leone played a double role in Bobby Khan's directorialventure that encashed on the porn star-turned-actor's 'sexy image'. Sadly, the filmmakersdidn't even bother to invest in a story now that they had Sunny. From cheesylines to sexy and vulgar dance moves, the director was much too focused ongetting the whistles from the front bench to worry about the rest. Don't missout on the moans in the trailer. Sleazefest!
Himesh Reshammiya definitely did not understand the boxoffice collection from his previous movies. We like your music, but neither dowe like your singing nor your utterly crap movies Mr.Reshammiya (with extranostril room). When you plan to recreate a movie that created history in theIndian cinema, you are for sure under a hell lot of pressure. But, that doesn'tgive you benefit of a doubt that you can go ahead and just spoil even theoriginal one for all of us. No, the numerology did not help this HimeshReshammiya starrer in any way. A remake that actually ruined the legacy of theoriginal one.
This is one movie that I would actually love to watch when I'mcompletely stoned. At least I'll have a good laugh. I remember watching themovie as a kid and man even at that age I think I could've done a better job atanimation and special effects without even having knowledge about it. Thismovie had the worst CG setup ever, so they decided to use Armaan Kohli as Neo,Terminator and a snake's head. Also, it showed us two things: how an attempt torape can be okay and Sonu Nigam's acting. The movie is so traumatizing thatYoutube doesn't even have its trailer, though here's a clipping from the moviein case you guys want to know how bad it could possibly be.
Yes, yes, I agree when you see Sunny Leone on-screen, youcare a damn about the script or the story or the actor. Lol. And that's exactlywhat even the censor board would have probably thought. Who doesn't like to seea hot bod as Sunny Leone on the big screen right? Even if she is portraying a characterof a porn star, that is ok, right? It doesn't offend anyone, it doesn'tobjectify women, and it doesn't have cuss words. Just sleaze that is beyond what'scalled "normal" in the so-called "culturally rich" country like India!
Like the first one wasn't enough, Gurmeet Singh came backwith a sequel. Gurmeet Singh Ram Rahim Ji Insan wrote, directed and played thelead role in his debut film Messenger of God and its sequel. He was the lovecharger, ghost-rider, superpower, vigilante, bomber, painter, healer, father...and much more rolled into one twice over. It was not a film, it was an"advertisement of his 'humanitarian' deeds and the political clout he's nevertried to hide," as Rohit Vats wrote in his review.
No more sleaze please! Is what I said after watching thismovie. Not that the previous two Hate Stories were any better but the thirdinstallment takes it to a whole new level of awful. Also, it certainly doesn'thelp when three of the four leads can't act and the other one decides to hammerhis way through the movie. As for the erotica, if it isn't looking sexy, no oneis lapping it up. Oh and by the way, the word "F***ing" wasn't censored in themovie.
What happens when a plot gets wilder beyond control? Itceases to make sense. Kaizad Gustad's Boom is as convoluted as that and more. Whatwas expected to be some new-age thriller high on the superstar prowess ofAmitabh Bachchan and the undeniable sizzle of its super hot triplet -- MadhuSapre, Padma Lakshmi and Katrina Kaif, instead turns out to be a soundless furyof skin-show overkill, bland performances and indulgent filmmaking. The movie'strailer isn't up on Youtube, but here is one scene that was asked to be removedform the movie post its release.
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