Smart Answers

[Salman Usman]

Some are a bit saucy...so cover your eyes while reading them...the best one?    Mmmmmmm.....is the last one.......

 

  #1 -- It was mealtime during a flight
on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the
flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
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#2 -- A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't
find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy
replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
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#3 -- The cop got out of his car and
the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his
window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.
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#4 -- A truck driver was driving
along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low
Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes
up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got
stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out of gas.'
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#5 A blonde goes to the post office to
buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the
clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'
The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this?
Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and
22 Baptists.
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#6 A woman is standing  looking in the bedroom
mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect.'
He never heard the shot....

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