Bitter Amp; Love

[Rut]

WhenI was younger, I never ate dark chocolate. I thought it was for fools and idiots. Why in the world would anyone CHOOSE dark chocolate when smooth, creamy, delicious milk chocolate is available? I scoffed.

But then life happened to me, as it does to all of us. My pallet matured, I suppose. I tasted things that were bitter and they started to seem pleasing to me. Arugula (with a bit of goat cheese), coffee (with a bit of cream), broccolini (with more than a bit of salted butter).

For the last 4 years, ALL of my writing has been available right here in The Corners without any ads, or algorithms or even 1 dollar going to Zuckerberg! How? Because some folks opt to chip in. Which is so cool and much less icky than the alternative. #TeamNoAds

Awkward, curious baby birds; tomatoes warm and fresh eaten straight from the vine; falling asleep to the slow pitter patter of rain and imagining a smiling God pouring over us from a giant watering can while wearing polka dot garden clogs

Each month I do a day-long Questions and Opinions with the paid subscribers of The Corners. This month I decided to choose one I didn\u2019t have time to answer and post a longer response for everyone. Enjoy.

So, sweet reader, my question back to you is this: how kind can you be toward yourself? Could you maybe, even though it\u2019s super cringy, place your hand on your heart and ask it \u201CWhat hurt you? And how can we move on together?\u201D. Because no one is born bitter. Bitterness happens when the pain and sorrow of life overtake us so much that in defense we beat life to the punch. Because assuming everything is shit and always will be is less vulnerable than having our hoped dashed again. Better to just not hope at all and then make everyone in our lives suffer us. But reader, I am hopeful. Defiantly so. There are a million forms of shit out there, it\u2019s true. But what is also true is that there are always more forms of love. So let\u2019s you and I refuse to reverse the math on that.

My deepest thanks to everyone who supports my work. Because of you, no matter where I am: cathedral, prison, church - I do not need to get paid to preach. All the honorarium for all my preaching goes directly to New Beginnings, the only inclusive Christian community inside the Denver Women\u2019s Correctional Facility. THANK YOU!

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is a Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council Canada Graduate Scholar and a PhD candidate in philosophy at the University of Toronto. Her research focuses primarily on the phenomenology of love, especially romantic love. She is co-founder and co-organiser of the Mental Health & Disability Network, a disability visibility initiative that connects philosophy graduate students internationally.

Why not? Because the fact that it would be better to stop loving is not itself sufficient to stop us loving. Prudential reasons to fall out of love simply miss the mark, given the nature and structure of love as arational. But the situation is not entirely wretched. I hope to persuade you that, while unrequited love is bitter, it can be made bittersweet, if you change your attitude toward it.

This summer I traveled with my family to Alaska where glaciers form rivers that flow through mountains ranges covered with dark green boreal forests. My camera could neither capture the scale nor the magnificence. Late one night I sat on a chair outside thinking about the dynamics of the past few years. I looked up and to my bewilderment saw this rainbow.

Yom Kippur asks us to think about how we will live with pain and brokenness in a way that will not break us or depress us, but rather give us direction, attention and intention to each and every day.[2]

Our prayers are like mirrors. To pray for my own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those I love and appreciate also helps me to approach people I sometimes struggle with more loving kindness and compassion, too.

Why? Because like trees reflected in an azure blue mountain lake, like the quiet goodness in the human soul or the infinite and iridescent promise of a new day the sacred and the miraculous are, indeed, everywhere. They are, literally, all over the place. They are in your soul And in the souls of the people who are sitting next to you. And the people we have yet to meet.

[5] Howard Schwartz, Tree of Souls. Pg. 122. Note: The shards and the sparks are the ultimate expression of bitter and sweet, the literal broken pieces that each contain a glimmer of the Divine. We bear both and open ourselves to the sometimes-challenging reality that we contain multitudes. When we do that, we bear these realities of the world, by cultivating that empathy for ourselves and others.

[7] Thank you to my son, Micah, and my father-in-law, Malcolm Bonnheim, for providing great conversation and a High Holy Day Sermon idea. Thank to my writing partner, Rabbi Dara Frimmer, and my gracious editors, Michele Lowe, Julia Bonnheim, and Rabbi Ana Bonnheim.

Personaly, I never was invested in their couple. I prefered Hae Soo and Wang Wook because we could really see them falling in love. That and I found Wang Wook more interesting as a character than Wang So, I think they played too much the pity card for Wang So.

In my opinion, it's not that Wang Wook-Hae Soo were more in love than Wang So-Hae Soo but it's just they had more lovey dovey screen time together than Wang So-Hae Soo. Moreover, the time when Wang So-Hae Soo started their relationship Hae Soo already became more calm and mature.

It's not why I meant. But the couple Wang Wo- Hae Soo developped in a time jump in the story. So I wasn't really invested in them. It was not only the lovey dovey scenes but the fact we could see all the processus.

Yes. I agree. There was development with Hae Soo/Wang Wook, whereas very little for Hae Soo/Wang So. It was just all of a sudden that Hae Soo started having feelings for Wang So. I think it had to do with the writing, too, and like you mentioned below, the time jumps did not help. The love between Hae Soo/Wang So was very one-sided for like 75% of the drama and then all of a sudden, Hae Soo started feeling pity towards Wang So, I think, since he kept helping and protecting her, but even during those times, she was still caught up in her feelings for Wang Wook.

The original chinese version had more episodes. In the korean version, they decided to make a shorter drama, so I guess they had to cut a lot of things. Personaly, I didn't watch the original version, so I was neutral for the love story and I think it's why I prefered Hae Soo/Wang Wook. I was not waiting for Hae Soo/Wang So couple to happen.

Somebody may trow stones at me but I liked the writers logic and the way it was executed. It was historically appropriate. Even Su's death was logic after delivering a baby - there were no transfusions at that time and by giving birth she lost lots of blood and force, even those happy hormones created by corp when baby is delivered couldn't help. With pregnancy she shared with her precious one all the nutritions in her body and she was anemic which didn't help at all.

Wang Wook made his decision and preferred revenge, power and holding grudge.

Su had fallen in love with So little by little, there was no escape, no regret from it. So was a man with so many logs under his legs and doubting everybody even that one he wanted to protect and love forever. It was heart wrecking but finally Brother Grimm's world won against disneyworld with pinky glasses. Andersen's girl with matches marked our fantasy world.

You're right, some dramas were never the same in this tragic love story. But I also think Wang So's brother (the one who married Su, sorry I forgot his name but played by Ji-soo) was also pathetic. Even though Su was married to him but had somebody's else's child, he still took care of her and the child afterwards. So both brothers' love story had tragic endings.

I loved their relationship as best friends. I didn't quite get into the romance, and remember being frustrated by the mess in the final stretch. However, I was ok with the ending, even though my heart bled for Wang So alone in that dark palace. After willfully ignoring the mechanics and implications of time-travel, the show somehow ended logically. Whatever became of their daughter though?

Before I watched the k-drama version, I saw the C-drama and really disliked the ending. People took it as hopeful as she watched in anguish as the guy walked away. This to me seemed a cop out as if they wanted to have the sad ending of the book but, hey, just in case we have a ratings winner, we'll keep it open for a 2nd season. It was a ratings winner in China, and they did do a second season which didn't fare so well.

In the book (which I have to rely on those that could read it), she just dies and that's it. So given the book ending and given the C-drama ending, I actually learned to appreciate the k-drama ending. Don't get me wrong, I was wanting a happy-ever-after, but it really doesn't work with the source material.

So of the 3 endings, the k-drama ending is the winner for me. My main issue with the drama is the pacing of the last 5 episodes was a mess as they originally were slated for 24 episodes and while in production it got reduced to 20. To this day I think the PD overspent in time and $ on the first 5 or so episodes and had to shorten it.

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