"Fast Larry's 'legend' Invades Derby City 2007"
fraudlarr...@yahoo.com
Fast Larry Story Invades Louisville
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The funniest story I've ever heard....anywhere, anytime, is the Fast
Larry and his Wonder Dog saga. This one was floating around the Derby
City Classic over last weekend and had everyone in stitches,
especially
people who have read the deranged rantings from the warped and
bigoted
mind of the blowhard, FL.
It seems that Fast Larry heard that Barry Hearn's Matchroom Sports
needed a 3-minute filler footage of trick shots within their coverage
of last year's Mosconi Cup. Wanting these 3-minutes badly to help
enforce his image of being a touring and entertaining billiard pro,
and
in typical FL fanatical fashion, he sent hundreds, if not thousands,
of
emails; hundreds of letters, and made dozens of telephone calls from
his many multiple personalities touting the expertise, prowness,
professionalism, marketability and entertainment value of Fast Larry
and the Wonder Dog. All these "people" explained to the staff that
Barry would be nuts and one of "da insane Bozos" if he didn't
hire the Master Teacher and Trick Shot extraordinaire, Fast Larry, to
entertain the masses through the magic of TV.
Additionally, FL sent along a video clip of himself and the Wonder
Dog
doing trick shots. Some of the footage, the Matchroom staff thought,
was pretty good and felt that Wonder Dog added a dimension of
entertainment not usually seen on a billiards show. Although Fast
Larry
appeared to be arrogant when talking and stiff when shooting his
trick
shots, the Wonder Dog would appeal to just about everyone within
their
viewer demographics.
After telling Barry Hearns about FL and the Wonder Dog, Barry told
his
staff to find out how much Fast Larry wanted for himself the Wonder
Dog
to perform for the 3-minute filler spot. After contacting FL by
email,
FL replied that he would take a pay cut and do the 3-minute promo for
$25,000 for himself and $5,000 for the Wonder Dog.
Understandably, the staff at Matchroom Sports had never heard of Fast
Larry or his Wonder Dog and started doing the "due diligence" of
vetting out FL. Imagine, if you will, what these people found when
the
facts came in about Fast Larry Guninger (or Grindinger). They found
an
old washed-up, foul mouthed, bigoted nobody spewing out hatred and
obscenities and hell-bent on self promotion of his smoke and mirrors
"career" of a pro pool and trick-shot artist.
Not wanting to make the call themselves, they put the racist report
on
Fast Larry and Fast Larry and Wonder Dog's trick shot video on Barry
Hearn's desk and waited for him to make the decision.
When Barry returned, he put the video in and started reading the
report. While doing this, he noticed that he had a new email on his
computer and opened it up. It was from Fast Larry. It read:
Dear Barry....
I don't understand why I haven't heard from you yet. If it's the
$30,000 price tag for me and Wonder Dog, then I'll tells you what,
you send me your OK for our appearance and I'll throw the Wonder Dog
in for free and youse can have us both for $25,000. But, I need to
hear
from you by 12 noon tomorrow for this offer to be good. Just tell me
when you want us to be there and I'll send us both out.
Love and peace, because I come to teach....
Fast Larry Guninger
At exactly 11:59 am the following day, Fast Larry Guninger received
the
following reply from Barry Hearns:
Dear Fast Larry...
SEND THE DOG.
Regards....
Barry Hearns