Disinfotainment Today #179

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Michael Dare

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Jan 17, 2006, 10:01:37 PM1/17/06
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Disinfotainment Today
Issue #179
is brought to you by...
The Double Bill of the Week
 
 
History Lesson From Hell
 
 
    According to Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen, the Vietnam war is being whitewashed by our kid's history books. Of the five Pulitzer prize winning photographs that everyone who lived through the war has seen, the naked little girl running down the road, the guy getting shot in the head, the bodies from the Mai Lai massacre, the Buddhist monk setting himself on fire, and the line of people trying to get on the last helicopter out of Hanoi, not one appears in any of the top ten history books used by high school students in America. Their little brains are not allowed to digest one single fact that would allow them to draw uncomfortable parallels to the current war in Iraq.
    Luckily, there's an easy remedy, just show them some of the movies Hollywood has made about the war. The iMDB comes up with 273 films with the keyword "Vietnam," but it seems to me that one dose apiece of Apocalypse Now, Born on the Fourth of July, Deerhunter, Full Metal Jacket, Casualties of War, Platoon, Coming Home, The Killing Fields, We Were Soldiers, Forrest Gump, and Alice's Restaurant, not to mention Who'll Stop the Rain, Hamburger Hill, First Blood, and More American Graffiti should just about do the trick.
    Now there's another mandatory Vietnam lesson, available for the first time in home video, Frank Cavestani's Operation Last Patrol, a documentary shot in 1972 that follows Ron Kovic and his band of disgruntled war vets on a trek across America to stage a protest at the Republican convention in Miami. It was clearly used as research material by Oliver Stone, who calls it "A valuable companion piece to Born on the Fourth of July. It's great to see and hear Ron Kovic in action as a leader. Frank Cavestani's film is a time capsule, full of spirit and conviction.  It's interesting and sad how much of what Ron and his fellow veterans are saying in the film could be said today."
    Amen to that. There's virtually nothing about the protest pictured in this film that doesn't resonate with the current political situation in America: a war that's impossible to win, ill-treated veterans, a media in the pocket of the government, and aloof politicians who clearly don't give a shit.
    It's a uniquely naive moment in the history of protest, a ragtag gang of longhairs in jeans, making it up as they go along, sure in the knowledge that nothing beats the credibility of veterans who were actually there. They're the spiritual cousins of Stallone in First Blood, not just licking their wounds but working off their guilt for the crimes they committed in country. It's pathetic that years before Rush, talk radio brands them as communists.
    The film is grainy and the colors are washed out which only add to the antiquity and authenticity, and the new interviews with Kovic and Cavestani put everything in perspective. Richard Nixon has became a role model for George W. Bush, just as Kovic became a role model for Cyndi Sheehan.
    There's a shot of Kovic at the back of the convention hall, shouting to be heard, but the media have moved away, and the camera keeps pulling back till he's lost in the crowd, we can't hear him and no one is listening, a stupendous shot that says it all. It's a scene that is reenacted at the end of Oliver Stone's film, and it's fascination to compare the reality with the recreation.
    Cavestani's decision to focus on Kovic in this film inspired Kovic to write the book that became the best seller that became the film Born on the Fourth of July, so Oliver Stone owes Cavestani a heap of gratitude, which he showed by including Cavestani in the final events of his film. My favorite moment in the Vietnamarathon I subjected myself to was watching Operation Last Patrol, then seeing the guy who made Operation Last Patrol standing beside Tom Cruise as he wheels himself into the convention hall at the end of Born of the Fourth of July.
    The original protesters, Don Quixotes one and all, are not just protesting the war but society itself, which they don't want to rejoin, much less readjust to. Their government sickens them and they just want someone to listen. Now, 34 years later, they finally get their chance to be heard.
 
"Can I break through your solid wall of complacency tonight?"
- Ron Kovic -
 
Bad News for Cannibals
 
 
Good News for Cannibals
 
The mummified body of a woman who didn't want to be buried was found in a chair in front of her television set 2 1/2 years after her death.
 
345 people were crushed to death in this year's Hajj to Mecca.
 
Department of Creating Enemies to Fight Later
 
    "Lacking direct evidence, Bush administration officials argue that Iran's nuclear program must be a cover for bomb-making. US Vice President Dick Cheney recently said: 'They're already sitting on an awful lot of oil and gas. Nobody can figure why they need nuclear as well to generate energy.'
    "Yet Cheney, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and outgoing Deputy Secretary Paul Wolfowitz held key national security posts when the administration of Gerald Ford made the opposite argument 30 years ago.
    "Ford's team endorsed Iranian plans to build a massive nuclear energy industry, but also worked hard to complete a multibillion-dollar deal that would have given Teheran control of large quantities of plutonium and enriched uranium - the two pathways to a nuclear bomb. Either can be shaped into the core of a nuclear warhead, and obtaining one or the other is generally considered the most significant obstacle to would-be weapons builders...
    "'I don't think the issue of proliferation came up,' Henry Kissinger, who was Ford's secretary of state, said...
    "After balking initially, Ford signed a directive in 1976 offering Teheran the chance to buy and operate a US-built reprocessing facility for extracting plutonium from nuclear reactor fuel. The deal was for a complete 'nuclear fuel cycle' - reactors powered by and regenerating fissile materials on a self-sustaining basis.
    "That is precisely the ability the current US administration is trying to prevent Iran from acquiring today...
    "Documents show that US companies, led by Westinghouse, stood to gain $6.4 billion from the sale of six to eight nuclear reactors and parts. Iran was also willing to pay an additional $1 billion for a 20 percent stake in a private uranium enrichment facility in the US that would supply much of the uranium to fuel the reactors.
    "'It is absolutely incredible that the very same players who made those statements then are making completely the opposite ones now,' said Joseph Cirincione, a nonproliferation expert at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. 'Do they remember that they said this? Because the Iranians sure remember that they said it,' said Cirincione, who has just returned from a nuclear conference in Teheran."
 
Confusing Symbol of the Week
 
Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week
 
Tap out the rhythm of the words of any song with your spacebar and songtapper will tell you the name of the song.
 
Propaganda of the Week
 
On October 2, 1937, Samuel Caldwell was the very first person ever arrested for smoking marijuana. Watch this short film about him.
 
Personal Message to All Fundamentalist Christians
 
After the Rapture, can I have your car?
 
Belated Christmas Gift from Hell
Show them you love them with a Bush Voodoo Doll.
 
Calling All Writers
 
This page lists hundreds of scholarly journals along with free sample issues and submission guidelines.
 
Answers to Last Week's Stupid Question
 
QUESTION: What rides will they have at the new American Christian biblical theme park?
 
    The Walk-On Waterslide
    It's A Small Worldview, After All
    Pirates of the Galillean
    Ep-Fukakta-cot
    Bumper Carbombs
    Bunker Cars
    Also, the most important ride -- A Ferris Wheel. I just love those things.
- Jimmy McConnell
 
    Welcome to "God's Little Acres"...Christian Biblical Theme Park in Jew Land!!
    Step Right Up folks....Are you Ready for the "Rapture Ride" ????  Board your own personal  "Born Again" Bumper car and just say "Thank You Jesus" !!!! Then RAM  into a  Heathen and watch yourself rise... up up up into the Firmament....forever !
Stop for lunch at the "Loaves and Fishes" Cafe and listen to the Sermon on the Mount. be sure to finish with a lactose free "praise the lord latte"!
    Catch a re-run of the "David and Goliath" reality series. They'll be playing "Indiana Jesus and the Temple of Doom" right after.
Save your afternoon to embark on the "Ark in the Park" Ride (only boys and girls paired up please) You'll get to load up with all the hetero animals.....ride through the "Flood" and then take pictures from the top of Mt. Ararat. 
    Before you leave, stop by and see the "Christ on a Cross" exhibit showing Jews hammering nails into Jesus.
    the "Hell in a handbasket" Horror ride....there's a demon popping out at every turn....feel the heat.....see the flames...and if you take a wrong turn......you never leave...OH NO! Help...it's too HOT down here!
    Time to Pray!
    Come back soon...bring another believer next time!
    Praise the Lord!
- Gene from California
 
    This new park will unite the American Christian Fundamentalists and the ancient Holy Land, and therefore will create new opportunities for 20th Century Religious Freedom Fighters to be honored alongside the Biblical heroes of yesteryear all packaged together with the latest technology of motion rides and theatrical devices.
    Job's Folly - This 4 seater starts out in choppy waters, when suddenly a great white whale appears and swallows the boat whole with all the occupants strapped in tightly.  The fetid stench of stale krill envelopes the olfactory senses and one can touch the slimy walls of the beast's mouth.  Loudspeakers begin belching low tones until the voice of Gregory Peck speaks of the low morality of man and how redemption must occur to leave the belly of this Beast.  "Repent you Bastards, all of you - At Hell's heart I stab at thee!  For hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee!"  At that point the boat turns over and you are slung into the belly of the beast sliding around a powerful whirlpool until you enter the Rick Santorum  emergency escape anus and are flushed out the whale's ass to a white room with plentiful towels and child therapists.
    The Masada - This experience is located on a isolated hilltop.  One gets to go to war with the Roman Army below, that is trying to annihilate you.  Billy Graham and Pat Robertson look-a-likes spew forth Biblical quotations while throwing rocks and boulders down upon the enemy's head.  You score points when you hit a Roman soldier on the head with a rock and are spared if you reach 100 points before the end of the game.  The war ends when the oil for the lamps runs out.
    The Egyptian Escape - Once inside a pyramid there is planetarium and the voice of Charlton Heston begins explaining Judaism's polytheistic beginnings and how the current ruler of Egypt, Ramses, was angry with those who believed in one God and was purging the land of such believers. In between Heston's solicitations for membership in the NRA, he tells you how to escape through the secret maze of the pyramid and meet Moses (played by Jerry Falwell) to make your way to the northern Reed Sea and escape through the tidal marshes.  The real miracle occurs in the fact the portly Falwell can actually walk more than 1 mile without having a coronary.
    The Loaves and Fishes - A George W. Bush look-a-like hand out endless loaves of parmesan-encrusted bread and warm Gorton's fishsticks, claiming that there is an endless supply of everything man can want if one just votes Republican and doesn't pay attention to deficits, and the ongoing Masada war.  "Oil will be cheap and plentiful. My father has battled the heathen pricks to provide us with all we will need."  After everyone is satisfied, the coronation begins and King George gives the order to convert the unexpecting Jewish brothers and sisters to Christianity and the Second Coming Begins with lighting by Morpheus and thunderous sound using the old Grateful Dead's "wall of sound" confiscated by the CIA.  The Jews are forced to convert or are slaughtered and the World War III begins in the name of Jesus Christ our only savior.
- Watermn
 
A reverse bungee jump, in which the bungees will already be stretched to maximum length when they are attached to your harness. A switch will release a restraining device, and you will instantly be snatched upward by the bungees, simulating what the Elect will experience at the beginning of the Final Days.
- Dave B
 
    a coffee shop called Sodom and Creamora
    the Parting of the Seas Waterpark
    Land of the Locusts
- Keith and April Blankenship
 
    the Swing Low, Sweet Chariot Swings (to draw a more diverse/urban crowd)
    the Haunted House of Herrod (with a safe escape to Egypt at the end)
    the John the Baptist Water Slide
    the Redemption Roller Coaster (complete with dark tunnels signifying sinful life choices along your path)
    Jews for Jesus Bumper Cars
    The Celebration! of Chastity  ( for teens! you just wait in a  really long line that's goes no where)
    Pat Robertson Wax Museum with life-like statues from American televangelist history
- Anne Konarski
 
OH GOD! I'M BOOKING MY TRIP NOW SO I CAN BE THE FIRST TO RIDE THE HOLY ROLLER COASTER. THE "WALK ON WATER WITH JESUS" DOESN'T INTEREST ME. I CAN'T SWIM.
- JD
 
    Well now, what a great place for ultra-conservative masochistic Christians whose heads and theology are so firmly lodged in the Old Testament! 
    I'm sure reservations are already being taken by the soon to be completed Sodom and Gomorra Inns. 
    What fun awaits them!
    Children will delight in the fun ride on Noah's Ark.  Who will be the lucky little lad that releases the dove of peace today?
    The ultimate thrill seekers need to remember to bring sun screen---Ezekiel's Chariot Ride is a blazing good time! 
    Like to swim?  Hey wait, kids!  That's no ordinary pool!  Don't be one of the unlucky losers that gets trampled along with Pharaoh's army when you visit the Exodus attraction featuring a simulation of the parting of the Red Sea.
    And if that wasn't enough water for you Jonah's Whale Experience will have you waterlogged for days.
    Moses' Lost in the Desert attraction gives kids what they want!  A very long ride in a simulated desert with a bunch of complaining Jews.  How long you say?  Hey, don't you remember your scripture?  Forty years! 
    However, that's where the fun stops, say critics who note the rest of the park has more of a Fear Factor appeal.
    A good example of this is The Temptation of Eve attraction where females are lowered into a snake pit and given 60 seconds to retrieve a "golden apple" guarded by a hissing cobra.
    Abraham's Truth or Dare is another example.  You make the choice - are you man enough to climb to the mountain top and sacrifice your son or sleep with your wife's handmaiden? 
    Christians who really feel the need for self punishment and flagellation won't want to miss the chance to visit Job's World.  When's the last time you had a bad case of boils?
    Feeling brave?  Good!  Your next stop is David and Goliath.  How good are you with a sling shot?
    Parents are warned to keep a close eye on children and older adults.  Those missing are retained at Lost and Found for only a very short time.
    Unclaimed family members are fed to the lions at the Roman Coliseum attraction each night just before the fireworks display.
- Marta Martin
 
Stone the Harlot.  Two throws, four bits.
- Palantir
 I HOPE they have a "crown of thorns" ride using HIV-tipped metal shards...at any rate I'll bet they'll hire Mel Gibson to design the "Sado-Masochist Land" section of the park, since his Christian porn movie was such a smash hit (so to speak).
- Tim Omachi 
Pat Robertson's Titty Twister from Hell
- johnny iguanna
 
How about a gigantic log flume that ends with the log splashing down into a 10,000 gallon tank of chicken soup with matzoh balls, and a 200 acre pavilion filled with falafel stands, Nathan's hot-dog stands and various Chinese restaurants.
- Burt Langman
 
Amazing rides. One after another more amazing that the one before. Then, after you've signed away your worldly goods, you're sent to the Father, the big white guy in the sky. A big long tunnel of light and all your relatives waiting for you at the end. Your final reward. For eternity. Then you feel like about halfway through eternity and after having that much reward you ask yourself, "Is that all there is?" And then the ride stops and you have to find your car in the parking lot.
- Harry Houck
 
Stupid Question of the Week
 
Anyone seen 50 Cent's film debut? Neither have I, but "Get Richard I. Trying" is clearly a punchline that deserves a joke.
 
 
Okay, that's too stupid even for me.
 
Now that it's been revealed anyone can get anyone else's phone records, inquiring minds want to know who's been calling who, so send your answer to Who's been calling who?
 
Joke of the Week
 
    A minister died and stood outside the entrance to heaven waiting to be admitted. Ahead of him stood a cab driver. "My name is Joe," said the cabdriver, "and I want to get into heaven."
    "Here are your silk robes Joe," said the angel, "please enter."
    "My name is Jim," said the minister, as he moved to the head of the line, "and I also want to get into heaven."
    "Here are your cotton robes," said the angel, "please enter."
    "Wait a minute," said Jim. "That guy's a cabdriver and he got silk robes. I'm a minister, and I got cotton robes. What gives?"
    "Oh," said the angel, "let me explain. In your line of work, while you prayed people slept, but in his line of work, while he drove people prayed."
 
I Feel So Much Safer Now
 
    "George Bush wants to create the new criminal of 'disruptor' who can be jailed for the crime of 'disruptive behavior.' A little-noticed provision in the latest version of the Patriot Act will empower Secret Service to charge protesters with a new crime of 'disrupting major events including political conventions and the Olympics.'
    "The Secret Service would also be empowered to charge persons with 'breaching security' and to charge for 'entering a restricted area' which is 'where the President or other person protected by the Secret Service is or will be temporarily visiting.' In short, be sure to stay in those wired, fenced containments or free speech zones.
    "Who is the 'disruptor?' Bush Team history tells us the disruptor is an American citizen with the audacity to attend Bush events wearing a T-shirt that criticizes Bush; or a member of civil rights, environmental, anti-war or counter-recruiting groups who protest Bush policies; or a person who invades Bush's bubble by criticizing his policies. A disruptor is also a person who interferes in someone else's activity, such as interrupting Bush when he is speaking at a press conference or during an interview."
 
Gallery of the Week
Weather Wars has dozens of pictures of very strange weather.
It claims, with lots of back-up science, these must be man-made.
 
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
 
U.S. Senate Bill 517 and U.S. House Bill 2995 would allow experimental weather modification by artificial methods and implement a national weather modification policy, so put away that tin-foil hat.
 
Don't Take My Word for It
 
"Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love."
- Martin Luther King Jr. -
 
"Under this President's leadership, we have made great strides towards fulfilling the promise of opportunity for every American. Thanks to the President's bold education reforms, we have narrowed the achievement gap between white and African American children. The homeownership rate among African Americans is near record highs, and African Americans are starting new businesses at a rate double the national average. And President Bush is leading the way in reforming Social Security and Medicare so that those who most rely on these programs have more choices and better benefits."
 
"On this particular Martin Luther King Day, it is especially important to recall that for the last several years of his life, Dr. King was illegally wiretapped-one of hundreds of thousands of Americans whose private communications were intercepted by the U.S. government during this period. The FBI privately called King the 'most dangerous and effective Negro leader in the country' and vowed to 'take him off his pedestal.' The government even attempted to destroy his marriage and blackmail him into committing suicide. This campaign continued until Dr. King's murder."
- Al Gore (the actual elected president of the US): Martin Luther King Jr. Day Speech at Constitution Hall -
 
"We are a government of laws, theoretically, at least. Why do we need a Patriot Act if Bush has all these powers? If anyone reads the Article 2 the way Bush does then there are just no powers they don't have in the name of defending the country against terrorism, and terrorism is an indefinite threat. Therefore, they can do anything indefinitely that they wish. That isn't what I think the Constitution contemplates."
- John Dean -
 
"New evidence has surfaced in the 1968 Martin Luther King murder case. It is supplied by an 'insider' who claims to have been part of a 'hit team' that had come out of the 'Missouri Mafia' headquartered in the town of Caruthersville, a small town in the bootheel section of that state. In a yet-to-be-published book, former County Deputy Jim Green reveals his assigned role in the conspiracy, the name of the actual trigger man, and the long-suspected involvement of J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI. Green also believes that he possesses the actual murder weapon, which he personally secreted away only hours after the murder."
 
"NOW you tell me."
- Martin Luther King Jr. turning in his grave -
 
"When you get as old as I am, you don't need to get stoned to be slow and stupid. It's one of the perks of old age."
 
"If an intelligent designer designed nature, why did it decide to make breeding so tedious for those penguins?"
- George F. Will -
 
"The fact is that reasonable people have difficulty in conceiving and understanding unreasonable behavior. But let us abandon the lofty plane of theory and let us look pragmatically at our daily life. We all recollect occasions in which a fellow took an action which resulted in his gain and our loss: we had to deal with a helpless person. We can recollect cases in which a fellow took an action by which both parties gained: he was intelligent. Such cases do indeed occur. But upon thoughtful reflection you must admit that these are not the events which punctuate most frequently our daily life. Our daily life is mostly made of cases in which we lose money and/or time and/or energy and/or appetite, cheerfulness and good health because of the improbable action of some preposterous creature who has nothing to gain and indeed gains nothing from causing us embarrassment, difficulties or harm. Nobody knows, understands or can possibly explain why that preposterous creature does what he does. In fact there is no explanation - or better, there is only one explanation: the person in question is stupid."
- Carlo M. Cipolla: The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity -
 
"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it."
- Jane Wagner -
 
    "1. You've Been Psychologically Conditioned To Want a Diamond - The diamond engagement ring is a 63-year-old invention of N.W.Ayer advertising agency. The De Beers diamond cartel contracted N.W.Ayer to create a demand for what are, essentially, useless hunks of rock.
    "2. Diamonds are Priced Well Above Their Value - The De Beers cartel has systematically held diamond prices at levels far greater than their abundance would generate under anything even remotely resembling perfect competition. All diamonds not already under its control are bought by the cartel, and then the De Beers cartel carefully managed world diamond supply in order to keep prices steadily high.
    "3. Diamonds Have No Resale or Investment Value - Any diamond that you buy or receive will indeed be yours forever: De Beers advertising deliberately brain-washed women not to sell; the steady price is a tool to prevent speculation in diamonds; and no dealer will buy a diamond from you. You can only sell it at a diamond purchasing center or a pawn shop where you will receive a tiny fraction of its original 'value.'"
 
    "Two liberal groups released an ad calling on former House Republican leader Tom DeLay to resign, but Houston TV stations pulled it off the air after a lawyer for DeLay wrote a letter calling the ad 'reckless, malicious and false' and threatening to sue.
    "DeLay's primary complaint is that the ad refers to 'one million dollars from Russian tycoons to allegedly influence his vote.' In fact, The Washington Post has reported just such an allegation. It quoted the former president of an advocacy group as saying DeLay's former chief of staff told him that Russians contributed $1 million to the group in 1998 specifically to influence DeLay's vote on legislation.
    "It is true there's no evidence DeLay received the money personally, but it is also true that DeLay had multiple political connections to the advocacy group, and that his wife received a salary from the group's founder.
    "We find that DeLay's lawyer mischaracterized what the ad said, and that the ad contains nothing that is strictly false. The worst we can say of the ad is that its ambiguous wording could give casual viewers the impression that DeLay took $1 million directly, which isn't the case."
 
"Congress and phone companies have dealt a stunning blow to the privacy rights of everyday Americans by allowing cell and home phone records to be sold online to anyone. Congress must immediately pass a law that strictly prohibits these unauthorized sales, and begin enforcing this law now."
 
    "Only some 100,000 people, out of a total population of 467,000, have returned to New Orleans, just a month and a half before the famous Mardi Gras celebrations. However, the national media and their corporate friends in the urban development business, will paint New Orleans during the next Mardi Gras celebration on February 28 as a city coming back from disaster. Nothing could be further from the truth.
    "On November 24, 2005, WMR reported, 'Florida mental health professionals report that hundreds of evacuees scattered along the Florida Panhandle are ticking time bombs due to the effects of post traumatic stress syndrome from both Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.' In addition, WMR reported, 'These people are from all walks of life, professionals like doctors and lawyers and those who were from the lower end of the economic scale,' related one source close to the scene in Florida. He added, 'what they have in common is that they've lost everything, including the will to live.' Mental health workers say that some of the evacuees are showing signs that may result in suicides and murder-suicides."
 
"I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law."
- Martin Luther King Jr. -
 
"The bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place in the Kentucky state capitol."
 
"The bust of Pamela Anderson stands as a monument to enormous breasts and has no place on national television."
- Colonel Sanders -
 
"British scientists are seeking permission to create hybrid embryos in the lab by fusing human cells with rabbit eggs. If granted consent, the team will use the embryos to produce stem cells that carry genetic defects, in the hope that studying them will help understand the complex mechanisms behind incurable human diseases."
 
"I object."
- The Easter Bunny -
 
"A man can have sex with animals such as sheeps, cows, camels and so on. However, he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village; however, selling the meat to the next door village should be fine."
- Ayatollah Khomeini -
 
"The comet particles retrieved by NASA turned out to be reindeer droppings. NASA scientists await the return of spacecraft from Dasher and Dancer to confirm these findings."
- Ayatollah Yooso -
 
"We incorrectly reported that the EPA was working hard to reduce the flow of toxic waste released into communities surrounding power and chemical plants. In fact, the EPA is working hard to reduce the flow of information released about the toxic waste. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake."
- CORRECTION: Ironic Times -
 
"The FSP invites you to be a part of the first 1,000 to move to New Hampshire! Ian Bernard, Porcupine and Free Talk Live host, has made this public pledge at PledgeBank.com. 'I will move to New Hampshire by 12/31/2008 where I will work to bring about a society in which government's maximum role is protecting life, liberty, and property but only if 999 other liberty minded individuals will too.' Anyone who has moved to New Hampshire since October 1, 2003, and all of you who pledge to move by December 31, 2008, can sign up to be a part of The First 1000. Be one of the first 1,000 Free Staters in New Hampshire!"
 
"We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now."
- Martin Luther King Jr. -
 
"I think laughter in the face of death is a perfectly appropriate response to grief. At Harry Nilsson's funeral, just as they were lowering the coffin, Alan Katz said, 'Oh, I spoke to Harry last week, and he said he wanted me to have his royalties.'"
- Eric Idle: The Greedy Bastard Diary -
 
"Samuel Johnson's saying that patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels has some truth in it, but not nearly enough. Patriotism, in truth, is the great nursery of scoundrels, and its annual output is probably greater than that of even religion. Its chief glories are the demagogue, the military bully, and the spreaders of libels and false history. Its philosophy rests firmly on the doctrine that the end justifies the means - that any blow, whether above or below the belt, is fair against dissenters from its wholesale denial of plain facts."
- H.L. Mencken: Minority Report -
 
    "In his opening statement today, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said he's already made up his mind on Alito before hearing his answers: 'I don't know what kind of vote you're going to get, but you'll make it through. It's possible you could talk me out of voting for you, but I doubt it. So I won't even try to challenge you along those lines.'
    "It should come as no surprise that Graham has made up his mind behind the scenes, he's been helping Alito prepare for his question and answer session. Here's what the WSJ Washington Wire reported this morning: 'On Thursday, Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, one of the gang of 14? who sits on Judiciary, joined a so-called moot court session at the White House.'
    "Coaching a judicial nominee behind-the-scenes is not the proper role for a Judiciary Committee member who must subsequently sit in judgment on that nominee. Indeed, it could be a violation of the ethical duties of a senator. Here's what Senate Rule 37 (Conflicts of Interest) in the Senate Ethics Manual says: 'No Member, officer, or employee shall engage in any outside business or professional activity or employment for compensation which is inconsistent or in conflict with the conscientious performance of official duties.'
    "The Committee has interpreted this paragraph to prohibit compensated employment or uncompensated positions on boards, commissions, or advisory councils where such service could create a conflict with an individuals Senate duties due to appropriation, oversight, authorization, or legislative jurisdiction as a result of Senate duties."
 
"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."
- P.J. O'Rourke -
 
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
- Paul Fix -
 
"Thinking highly of one's self is very different than an addiction to public praise. No one is his or her own master whose master is the opinion of others. There is a fine line between being encouraged by praise and enslaved by flattery. The addiction to praise is a journey from wanting to please to a need to please and no addiction-trap knows, or cares, if you're rich or poor, somebody or nobody. The human brain anatomically yearns to send information down the same canals it sent thoughts down the time before. Our mind makes a habit of being habit forming. People who think they are too smart to be addicted to flattery are generally too dumb to see it happening."
- Noah benShea -
 
"A society is a healthy society only to the degree that it exhibits anarchistic traits."
- Jens Bjørneboe -
 
"Wars are caused by undefended wealth."
- Ernest Hemingway -
 
"The Marshall Plan for Iraq is failing. Penny Marshall and Marshall Crenshaw were unavailable for comment."
- Blithering Idiot -
 
"If the Nuremberg laws were applied today, then every Post-War American president would have to be hanged."
- Noam Chomsky -
 
"Hardship may dishearten at first,
but every hardship passes away.
All despair is followed by hope;
all darkness is followed by sunshine."
- Rumi: Mathnawi -
 
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. -
 
"I love looking for life forms!"
- Data: Star Trek: Generations -
 
Everything Else
 
The matter has been settled. A "gif" is pronounced "jif." 
 
Might I point out not one single Democrat took money from Abramoff? Did one single corporate whore newscaster mention that?
 
 
Don't let this happen to you
 
 
 
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dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.

Thanks,
 
Joachin D'Monkey & Spanky Nargang
 
 
No mountains were harmed during the production of this column.
 
 
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Wendy Girard

unread,
Jan 18, 2006, 11:39:09 AM1/18/06
to lafre...@googlegroups.com
michael<
osrry i missed the meeting last friday> how was it?
i"m going to interview ed begley for the freep but he just did an la weekly interview this week> he wants to know if it would be better to wait a while etc>
what do you think?
wg

 
On 1/17/06, Michael Dare <dar...@earthlink.net> wrote:
Disinfotainment Today
Issue #179
is brought to you by...
The Double Bill of the Week
 
 
History Lesson From Hell
 
 
    According to Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen, the Vietnam war is being whitewashed by our kid's history books. Of the five Pulitzer prize winning photographs that everyone who lived through the war has seen, the naked little girl running down the road, the guy getting shot in the head, the bodies from the Mai Lai massacre, the Buddhist monk setting himself on fire, and the line of people trying to get on the last helicopter out of Hanoi, not one appears in any of the top ten history books used by high school students in America. Their little brains are not allowed to digest one single fact that would allow them to draw uncomfortable parallels to the current war in Iraq.
    Luckily, there's an easy remedy, just show them some of the movies Hollywood has made about the war. The iMDB comes up with 273 films with the keyword "Vietnam," but it seems to me that one dose apiece of  Apocalypse Now, Born on the Fourth of July, Deerhunter, Full Metal Jacket, Casualties of War, Platoon, Coming Home, The Killing Fields, We Were Soldiers, Forrest Gump , and Alice's Restaurant, not to mention Who'll Stop the Rain, Hamburger Hill, First Blood, and More American Graffiti should just about do the trick.
    Now there's another mandatory Vietnam lesson, available for the first time in home video, Frank Cavestani's Operation Last Patrol, a documentary shot in 1972 that follows Ron Kovic and his band of disgruntled war vets on a trek across America to stage a protest at the Republican convention in Miami. It was clearly used as research material by Oliver Stone, who calls it "A valuable companion piece to Born on the Fourth of July. It's great to see and hear Ron Kovic in action as a leader. Frank Cavestani's film is a time capsule, full of spirit and conviction.  It's interesting and sad how much of what Ron and his fellow veterans are saying in the film could be said today."
    Amen to that. There's virtually nothing about the protest pictured in this film that doesn't resonate with the current political situation in America: a war that's impossible to win, ill-treated veterans, a media in the pocket of the government, and aloof politicians who clearly don't give a shit.
    It's a uniquely naive moment in the history of protest, a ragtag gang of longhairs in jeans, making it up as they go along, sure in the knowledge that nothing beats the credibility of veterans who were actually there.  They're the spiritual cousins of Stallone in First Blood, not just licking their wounds but working off their guilt for the crimes they committed in country. It's pathetic that y ears before Rush, talk radio brands them as communists.
- Jens Bj�rneboe -
 
"Wars are caused by undefended wealth."
- Ernest Hemingway -
 
"The Marshall Plan for Iraq is failing . Penny Marshall and Marshall Crenshaw were unavailable for comment."
- Blithering Idiot -
 
"If the Nuremberg laws were applied today, then every Post-War American president would have to be hanged."
- Noam Chomsky -
 
"Hardship may dishearten at first,
but every hardship passes away.
All despair is followed by hope;
all darkness is followed by sunshine."
- Rumi: Mathnawi -
 
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. -
 
"I love looking for life forms!"
- Data: Star Trek: Generations -
 
Everything Else
 
The matter has been settled. A "gif" is pronounced "jif." 
 
Might I point out not one single Democrat took money from Abramoff ? Did one single corporate whore newscaster mention that?
 
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