主题英语角第61期:接受不完美的自己 “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”

[Nick]

主题英语角第61期：接受不完美的自己
Topic: “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”

活动时间：2009年12月16日 周三晚19:30－21:30
活动地点：青年路（巡津街）516号盛达商务大厦 707室
昆明市第一人民医院往螺丝湾方向走200米路口处
公交车：乘59、63、90、98、107、109、112、117、161路车到巡津街站下

本次主题讨论的目的 Purpose of the topic for this time

探讨认识与接受不完美的自己之意义。
To discuss the importance of recognize and accept ourselves with
imperfections.

关于主题的一些最初的想法 Some initial thoughts about the topic

I was attracted immediately by the name of this book called “The Dark
Side of the Light Chasers”.It seem to reveal what I have been
realizing recently…

Debbie Ford believes that we each hold within us a trace of every
human characteristic that exists, the capacity for every human
emotion.

We are born with the ability to express this entire spectrum of
characteristics. But, Ford points out, our families and our society
send us strong messages about which ones are “good” and “bad.” So when
certain impulses arise, we deny them instead of confronting them,
giving them a healthy voice, then letting them go.

It is to these feelings that Ford turns our attention, these parts of
our selves that don’t fit the personae we have created for the rest of
the world. She shows us the effects of living in the dark, of keeping
all our supposedly unsavory impulses under wraps. We find ourselves
disproportionately frustrated and angry at the selfishness of friends,
the laziness of colleagues, the arrogance of siblings. When we are
unable to reconcile similar impulses in ourselves, Ford explains, we
waste our own energy judging others instead of empathizing. But most
important, we deny ourselves the power and freedom of living
authentically.

Through the stories and exercises in The Dark Side of the Light
Chasers, Debbie Ford shows us not only how to recognize our hidden
emotions, but also how to find the gifts they offer us. The very
impulses we most fear may be the key to what is lacking in our lives.

与大家一起探讨的问题:
Opening question for big group:

“The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”, what meaning does it bring to
you？

Step by step questions for small group discussion:

1. Do you have any examples of light chasers living in the dark?
2. What do you think will happen if we keep living in the dark without
seeing our shadows?
3. Do you think we can benefit from seeing our own shadows? How or why
not?
4. Why do you think we sometimes choose to live in the dark and how do
you think we can see ourselves more fully?

——Nick

[wanghaiqiang198784]

Nick，

谢谢你给我发今晚的题目，但是可能我今天去不了了，明天有个老师让我去云大讲一堂课，今天忙着赶PPT还有讲稿。下周我一定到。

不过我今天给你介绍了一个新朋友，她说她想去，不知道到时候会不会来。

祝你们聊的开心！

Enjoy English！

                                                          Steven

[ZhangJundan]

It's a great topic, kind of step forward. Sometimes I feel if people are too confirm about any side of human nature, it will lead to ridiculous, unfortunately most of the time people only pay attention on their bright side.They say it so definitely that every person is born as angel and even the worst man can be a saint if he gets help to kill all away his darkness. I once heard words like this"There is only lightness existing, darkness is the absence of light". Honestly I don't feel it's an appropriate attitude to find truth. Negation and Confirmation takes responsibility to say, cos both of them can give you great satisfaction once you make it.But do not easily make any negation or confirmation,only if you really believe you do the right choice. I say this because so many people can not control it well when they make decision to deny or certain.
 
I always believe there is both darkness and lightness at the same time, just like the light and shadow, any of the two can not exist if the other doesn't. We have to see the dark side of ourselves first, without fright or shame, it's nature and what we should be. Only on this foundation we can understand more about the world, ourselves and others.
 

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[Vane Train]

I think there is one truth that haunts us - to live a noble/dignified life, it is a fact of life we can’t deny we crave to become and attain. If we get tested and can’t attain that desire/hope to be dignified, we become rebellious. We become busy comparing, imitating, competing with others (and to ourselves too) and because of that we neglect to see our inner value.

Light chases us even if we don’t want to chase it or deny chasing it. In the dark, light penetrates. Close your eyes and you will still see light. Come in to a dark room, focus and in few minutes you will see what’s inside the room and that room becomes visible and that is because light envelops the dark room.

I chase light because I am afraid of the dark. During the processes of chasing the light, I may either accidentally or intentionally pass through a dark passage; but I keep walking until I get out of that dark passage. But I will feel more secure and assure if I am being guided by undoubted guide so I won’t get lost keep going in circle walking through that passage – this process of being lost is very exhausting and demeaning.

There is what I called intentional mistake. We intend/intentionally make mistakes because it gratifies want - this is the dark side of the light chaser.

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