The Self has been discarded has'nt it? It has been
exposed as a hindrance, an impediment to living.
Welcome to the group, and I happy to see you posting with questions
about your engagement with K's teachings.
There seems to be two distinct parts to your message, and I here would
like to look at these words of yours:
“ but even if i try his teachings again i suffer from his own words of
background that this is wrong and i have to follow this ....but cant
help ..”
First let me check that I am understanding you correctly. I take it
that mean something like this:
'You have read K. You find that his words have become a sort of
compulsion with you. You try and implement what you think he has said,
but this very attempt at implementation seems to be in contradiction
to K's words'.
In other words, you have turned K's words into a series of “what
should be”s, and this brings about conflict in you.
Is that an accurate description of what you are trying to say? If I
have got it wrong, please try and explain.
Let us have patience and explore this thoroughly.
Warm Regards
Clive