how to be more assertive

[sinigi kuchi]

Firmness is an attitude to express what we want. Assertiveness is closely related to action. Firmness and courage is one of the initial capital to be able to achieve dreams. Both of these things must be owned so that we can become a more qualified person.

Being assertive and brave will also fortify someone who only takes advantage of you. Therefore, here are some ways you can do to become a firm and courageous person

1. Evaluate the impact of the decisions taken

Annie Duke, co-founder of The Alliance for Decision Education explains, if you're having a hard time deciding what to order, consider the extent to which that decision could affect your life and future happiness. If you think these two things have no effect at all, then it will be easier for you to make a decision.

2. Try the "only option" test

Annie set an example. For example, you can't choose between a vacation to A or to B, imagine how you would feel if the only options were A or only B. If both appeal to you, it doesn't matter which one you choose. "The bottom line [of this exercise] is that your decision choices are the same, it doesn't matter which one is chosen," he said.

3. Think about the pros and cons of each option

When asked to make a monumental choice, Anne suggests assessing the merits and demerits of each choice. However, keep in mind that any one decision may not be 100% correct. In fact, if one option has an excess value of only 80%, while the other 20%, then the difference has resulted in a fairly clear choice.

4. Gather as much information as possible

If thinking about the pros and cons of each option doesn't really help, Anne asks you to look for additional information that will help increase your confidence in choosing one option. However, choose information that will indeed have an impact on the choices you will make.

5. Change your mindset

Instead of worrying about whether your decision could lead to a worse outcome, change your mindset to see that it could lead to a better outcome—because every event has a lesson, right? By changing your mindset, you "allow" yourself to experience bigger and better experiments in life.

6. Know when to trust your instincts

According to life coach Susie Moore, learning to be more assertive really boils down to confidence and trust in intuition. “If you can't feel the answer is right, it probably means you're not 'fully in tune' with your current self. Maybe you are stressed, too tired, or thinking too much. You may just need some quiet time, a walk outside, or more sleep before making a decision," she says.

7. Stop living in regret

Arguably, the hardest part of learning to be more assertive is wishing you had made the "wrong" choice. So, to be more assertive, commit to stop regretting the decision. According to practicing psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, “When you made the best decision at any given time, there's no point looking back because it's just a waste of precious time and energy.”

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