Maybe this snippet of KML will help
Code:
<kml xmlns="http://earth.google.com/kml/2.0">
<Document>
<Style id="defaultStyle">
<LabelStyle>
<scale>0</scale>
</LabelStyle>
<IconStyle id="hoverIcon">
<scale>0.3</scale>
</IconStyle>
</Style>
<Folder>
<name>Geograph British Isles</name>
<Placemark>
<name>ST7985 : The view from White Sheet Hill</name>
<Point>
<coordinates>-2.300017,51.563493,25</coordinates>
</Point>
<styleUrl>#defaultStyle</styleUrl>
</Placemark>
The important bits are the Style tags, which does a number of things, 0 scale for label so its missing (no text), 0.3 scale for Icon to make it smaller! and the styleURL you need in each placemark to tell it use the defined style,
You can also change the Icon of the placemark, the easiest way is to view use the Google Earth client to pick an icon (right clicking on the Placemark and selecting Edit) then viewing the resultant KML.
Hope that helps,
Barry