A Conversation With Lydia Criss
geminid...@gmail.com
From: Classic Rock Revisited
Jeb Wright
Over 40 years ago a young Italian girl named Lydia lived in Brooklyn,
New York. She dreamed of getting married, having children and being a
stereotypical Italian mom - then she met PETER CRISS. The couple fell
in love and Lydia entered the glamourous world of being a rock star
wife. Things did not come easy however as she worked hard for 12 years
to pay the bills and give Peter every chance to live his dream. Lydia
was patient and Peter worked hard. Eventually, he was invited to be
the drummer in a band called Kiss. The rest, as they say, is Kisstory!
Fast forward to 2007and Lydia has released her first book which is
both autobiographical and a pictorial history of her time with Kiss
titled Sealed with a Kiss. The books imagery is the most comprehensive
collection of photographs of the band's heyday ever to be released.
The text of the book is written simply and honestly by the author.
>From the glory of KISS Mania to finding out Peter was cheating on her
and taking massive amounts of drugs, Lydia tells all. After taking in
the entire spectacle, one feels they know Lydia on a spiritual level.
She recounts her life with KISS on an entirely individual level and
brings the monsters of rock down to earth and shows them as both rock
stars and everyday people.
Read on to discover how the book came to be and learn more about the
hottest band in the world - Kiss
Jeb: When I heard the book was coming out I knew it would be
interesting but when I got the book and I saw the layout, pictures and
text I was blown away.
Lydia: Everyone who has gotten the book has been surprised, including
the guys who worked on it. I have guys all over the country who helped
me with the book - one is in Baltimore, one is in Oklahoma City, one
is in Tampa and one is in Seattle. All four of them are really avid
KISS fans. The man in Seattle has had the photographs for years and
has been very involved. I sent him the finished book unannounced and
he was blown away with it. The guys I worked with talked me into
putting a lot of the pictures in the book. I probably wouldn't have
used a photo that was a little too dark or out of focus but they told
me that it didn't matter because it was historic.
The camera I used way back when was a tiny little instamatic. It was a
twenty-dollar camera that my best friend had given me for my birthday.
I took pictures with it until KISS went to Japan in 1977 and in the
book you can see that the pictures got better around that time.
Jeb: You did an online auction through one of our sponsors, Backstage
Auctions. Tell me about that.
Lydia: That auction financed this book. I had a publisher in the
beginning and he talked me into doing the book. He was holding the
boxes of all my stuff but he went bankrupt. It took me awhile to get
my stuff back. I, then got an agent and she shopped the book but she
didn't do it right. She said the big publishing houses told her that
GENE SIMMONS was flooding the market with KISS books. I had already
scanned over a hundred photos and the guy that did the scanning told
me that I could self-publish the book. I was introduced to Backstage
Auctions owner Jacques Van Gool by Sean Delaney and Jacques talked me
into doing an auction. I sold all of my KISS stuff for the fans.
Once I did the auction then I knew I would do the book. I didn't know
anything about writing or publishing a book but there was a little
buzz going on in the industry that I was going to do it. I didn't know
where to begin or who to hire or who not to hire. It took another six
months to just get the team together. Eventually, we started in
October and the finished book was delivered to the warehouse in New
Jersey a year to the day from when we started. Even thought it looks
like it took nine years, it actually took three very intense years.
Jeb: Did you think your story would touch that many people?
Lydia: No, I thought most of the fans would buy the book for the
photos. I am amazed at how many of the fans are reading the story. I
wanted the book to feel like you were sitting in the same room as me
and I am telling you the story. I didn't want any big words - I am not
a stupid person but I am not that smart either [laughs]. If the editor
wanted to change a word and I had to look it up to see what it meant
then I didn't want it in the book. The book had to sound like me, the
girl from Brooklyn. The fans got that. They have told me that they got
nervous for me when they read about me doing the People's Choice
Awards and the got sad for me during the sad parts of the book. I
guess I got it across. KISS' manager, BillAucoin, told me that if I
was going to do a book that has anything to do with KISS then I had to
do it as good as KISS and that scared me. From the response I got from
Bill I think I must have done well.
Jeb: As you reflect on your life with KISS would you say this story is
a tragedy or a triumph?
Lydia: I had to read this about five times as this was being edited. I
remember actually sitting and crying during one part and a few
paragraphs later I was laughing out loud. It is real life and it has
its ups and downs. It was hard to relive everything again. I am living
it for the third time because first I lived it then I wrote about it
and then I had to edit it. It was a very emotional year. There were
times that I wanted to quit and not do it anymore and there were times
that I could not quit because I loved doing it so much.
Jeb: This does not seem like you did this for the money.
Lydia: I actually spent a lot of money to do this. Other than buying
my home it is the most money I have ever spent on one thing. I have
never been one to take chances in my life but this time I just decided
to go for it. I made money from the auction and it was KISS related.
It was kind of like free money so I just put it back in.
Jeb: To relive your life thirty to forty years later would be
difficult.
Lydia: I met Peter in 1966 so I have known him 40 years. I didn't
expect to cry over anything because I thought I was over all of that.
I did expect to laugh because there were a lot of fun times. It is
just life. I am glad that I am not involved in that anymore and that I
have my own life. I am a photographer and I am going to be going on a
shoot tomorrow. I am still involved with KISS but not like I used to
be.
Jeb: People expected the photographs.
Lydia: A lot of them were taken with an instamatic with a little flash
bulb- there was not even a flash cube! The concert photographs from
back then were dark. You can really tell when I first got the 35MM
camera because the pictures are better. I have been told that I have
an eye for capturing a moment. After we were divorced, I worked in a
photo agency for 16 years.
Jeb: You said you never took risks. I would think getting married to
PETER CRISS is a huge risk.
Lydia: That was a risk but it is not one where you are laying out
money. You are just giving of yourself. I am not a gambler. I don't go
to Las Vegas and I am not one who invests in crazy things. I have to
be safe. For me, spending this money was a big, big gamble. I know
marrying Peter was a gamble but there was also love mixed in there.
Jeb: Did you think he would make it?
Lydia: He had something very special about him. He was very unique and
his sense of humor was great. Girls love guys with a good sense of
humor. Peter also was very confident and he really believed in
himself. He could make you believe in him. Even before I married him,
I knew there was something really special about him.
Jeb: You are one of only a half a dozen people to be involved with
KISS before there was KISS.
Lydia: I was there from the very beginning. There are not many early
photos because no one knew who they were and no one cared about them
in the beginning. Years ago someone saw my photos and they told me
that I would make a lot of money off of them one day. I was not even a
photographer at that time. I was a bookkeeper and a secretary. I never
thought I would live the life I lived. When I was a little girl, I
just thought that I would grow up and get married and be a fat,
Italian momma. I didn't have any dreams other than that. It turns out
that I never had children and that I am not fat but I am still
Italian.
Jeb: Were you close to your family? How did they react to Peter?
Lydia: I am very close. I am the middle child and I am the only girl
between four brothers. My mother thought I was crazy. My brothers all
have corporate jobs and I am the black sheep rock and roller. My mom
thought I was nuts when I went out with him and when I married him.
But she grew to love him because everyone who meets Peter ends up
loving him.
Jeb: Did Peter confide in you?
Lydia: We were best friends. He told me everything about KISS. In his
other bands he was always the leader and he was the lead singer. Peter
was the one who got the band booked. When he joined KISS, he was not
the leader anymore and it kind of bothered him. He wanted to have his
songs on the album but he got the same thing that Ringo and George got
with the Beatles - he got a song or two on an album and that was it.
Jeb: Tell me how the whole KISS make-up thing started.
Lydia: That really started with the band The New York Dolls and with
Alice Cooper. Jerry Nolan, the drummer for The Dolls, was Peter's best
friend. We used to see them and they were doing really good. They had
an album out and Peter was very jealous. Peter would always say, "I am
going to make it bigger than Jerry." The glam thing was really big,
even David Bowie was doing it at that time. KISS decided to put make-
up on but they were putting feminine make-up on. It just didn't work
because Gene is a big guy and Ace is tall. They were too gawky for it.
Actually it worked for Peter because he was a little guy but the band
decided to go away from the feminine look and go with the white face.
I am not sure who came up with that, I think it might have been Gene.
It was based on something to do with old horror movies. One day Peter
came home and he told me that he had to come up with a character. We
had a cat that Peter adored. He loved the way the cat acted and he
loved that cats had nine lives as he had gone through a few lives
already. Peter would be at home when I was at work and he would etch
the cat with his face. They all ended up creating something that was
unique for them.
Jeb: KISS did the make-up differently and I think they came along at
the time when the world needed the distraction.
Lydia: They became cartoon characters like super heroes. Being that
close to it made it hard to see it but the fans sure remember it.
Everyday someone tells me that they were seven-years-old when they saw
KISS at the Garden or that they saw the Paul Lynde Special on
television and how it affected them. No one else had a show that
looked that magical through a child's eyes.
Jeb: Alice Cooper had trouble with his on stage persona and his
offstage reality. Did Peter have any trouble doing that?
Lydia: Peter didn't have problems with that. Peter would not drink or
do drugs when he was on stage with KISS - he did them after the show.
Jeb: Did it bother you that you could not be a normal married couple
due to KISS Mania?
Lydia: We actually were a normal married couple. Everyone looks at
KISS as superstars but they still come home and exchange Christmas
presents with their families. There is still a human side to them. We
had a very normal marriage. We would have family reunions and we would
have friends over. We were more normal than people think because no
one knew who he was because of the make-up. We could go wherever we
wanted when we lived in Brooklyn because no one knew who he was. There
would be limos in front of our door everyday and still people didn't
put it together. Peter's real last name was Criscuola. No one knew he
was PETER CRISS. We went and saw Fleetwood Mac at the Garden and we
went backstage and nobody knew it was him.
After Peter and I separated I went out with Mickey Jones, the bass
player for Angel, and since no one knew what Peter looked like they
started thinking Mickey was Peter because he had the same hairdo as
Peter. People would stop him and ask him for his autograph and he
would sign his name and they would look at him really weird because
they thought he was PETER CRISS.
Jeb: There were hundreds of opportunities for journalists to get
pictures of KISS without their make-up on. Why didn't that happen?
Lydia: There are photographers that have photos of them without the
make-up. But they felt that if they revealed the photos then the whole
thing would be over and that they couldn't work with KISS anymore. The
management made it very worth their while not to show the photos
without the make-up. Barry Levine took photos with them after the make-
up at the after show party. The difference is that they would give us
the photos. It could not happen today because people can make a bunch
of money with a photograph. Back then you could not get the same kind
of money for selling a picture to The Star so it was really different.
Jeb: You are the real life Beth.
Lydia: My name is not Beth and my middle name is not Beth. The real
girl was a girl name Rebecca and she went by Beck. The song was
written about her and there is a picture of her in the book. She was a
friend of mine and she was married to the rhythm guitar player from
Peter's band Chelsea. She was a little annoying. The song was actually
written as a mean song. It really was saying that they hear her
calling but they are not coming home because she is so annoying. They
never did anything with the song. Peter brought it out to Gene, Paul,
Ace and Bob Ezrin and they decided to use it but they made it a nice
song.
At the time I had stopped working. I had supported Peter for twelve
years by paying the bills. Now that Peter was working and paying the
bills I felt kind of empty. I told Peter that and in the song he
wrote, "You say you feel so empty, that a house is not a home." I was
normally at the studio when they were recording because I love to see
and hear how it is all put together. However, I was not in the studio
when they did "Beth." They called me in and they sat me on a stool and
they played the song for me. Everyone was silent and I just listened
to the song on headphones. When it was done, they asked me, "What do
you think?" As the tears were rolling down my face I said, "You should
have called it Lydia."
I was shocked that the band let me accept the People's Choice Award.
You do know that you are going to win that award before the ceremony.
KISS was already booked that night in North Dakota and there was no
way they could be there. I told them that I would accept the award for
them and Gene agreed. I panicked. I lost ten pounds in ten days. I
only had ten days to get ready for it. I had to get a dress and I got
fake nails - I was not used to them and I could not button anything. I
was a nervous wreck. I had to get a speech ready and everything. I
would go to the office and everyone would smile and say, "Look, she
has stage fright already."
Jeb: You were in the studio with KISS. How cool is that?
Lydia: I loved that. In front of the board in the Record Plant there
was a couch. I would keep quiet and stay out of everybody's way. I
loved to sit there and listen to just vocals or just the drums. I
loved to watch them make them do it again. I loved watching them put
it all together.
Jeb: KISS has been knocked for not being good musicians. What is your
take on that?
Lydia: I would say KISS were more about the entertainment. I am not a
musician but I have been told by people that they are not Pink Floyd.
I don't think that necessarily makes for the best record. You don't
have to be the greatest musician to make a great record. Lord knows
Mick Jagger is not the greatest singer. I don't think the money was a
big deal in the beginning because they didn't have any. It was all
about presenting themselves to the pubic and being accepted by the
public. They all had this attitude - especially Gene. One of his
famous quotes is, "I would rather have a bad review then no review at
all." That is how Ace felt about gambling. He would rather lose than
break even!
Jeb: From the fan's perspective it seems the band divided into two
camps. You had Gene and Paul on one side and Peter and Ace on the
other.
Lydia: Gene and Paul were together before KISS. Gene and Paul were
also more into the business aspect of the band. Ace and Peter just
wanted to party and live the rock star lifestyle. It really came down
to the fact that there were two band members who did not do drugs and
there were two band members that did do drugs.
Jeb: Did drugs get worse after Destroyer?
Lydia: It was after Destroyer. It was then that I felt drugs came into
our life. It is also when the money started coming in. The money
started creating problems. I remember Peter asking for a thousand
dollars from management and he would just go right out and spend it
all on drugs. This is when I was with him. After we split up I am sure
it got worse. When he was in California doing the solo album, I was
being phased out. Peter was hiding things from me. Peter had another
girlfriend already and the word was that they needed to keep
everything they can from Lydia.
Jeb: You get a feeling that even though your relationship did not end
on good terms, you and Peter really had a soul connection.
Lydia: Oh yeah. Someone asked me when I realized that our marriage was
going bad and I told them that I didn't. We were planning on having a
child. Within six weeks that thought was thrown out the window and he
had another girl. Peter used to call me Mikey because I was like one
of the guys. I wasn't like the other girlfriends in the band - I was a
wife but I was supposed to act like a girlfriend. After I found out
Peter had someone else, I was devastated. Not only did I lose Peter, I
lost his family, I lost his friends and I lost a lifestyle. It was an
instant diet because I didn't want to eat. I knew the relationship
wasn't working at the end but I didn't know what to do. Divorce and
the death of a parent are the hardest things that I have ever had to
deal with.
Jeb: Did you return to your lifestyle you had before you met Peter?
Lydia: All of my friends that I had made were still in the business. I
am still friends with Bill Aucoin to this day. Sean Delaney was a
friend till the day he died - I was at his funeral. I was still around
musical people so my lifestyle did change but it didn't change that
much. I was still living in the house in Connecticut. I was getting
alimony but eventually that was cut in half - that is when my
lifestyle really changed. I had to give up the beautiful home that I
lived in for eight years.
Jeb: And you still didn't hate the guy.
Lydia: I don't hate Peter. There is just something in my heart for
him. He is my first love and he was my first husband. There is just
something about him that makes you love him. I think that is why Gene
and Paul keep going back to him too.
I met Paul once at a party and I said, "So, I see Peter is not in the
band anymore" and he goes, "I am so glad that I never have to work
with him again." I looked right at him and said, "I know what you
mean." Peter is a lot to handle. I understand the relief he felt but
there is still the sorrow and the missing him. I still miss the fun
times. I have a great boyfriend right now who is very funny. He has me
laughing all the time. I don't know if you read the whole book but he
was with Aucoin Management, he was in the band Piper.
Jeb: Billy Squier's band.
Lydia: My boyfriend is Richie Fontana. He also played on PAUL
STANLEY's solo album. It is all like a big family. I had not seen
Richie for 24 years. He came to my apartment with Sean Delaney the day
before New Years. He comes walking through my door and within a month
we are dating.
Jeb: KISS has become much more than a band. They have become part of
American culture.
Lydia: It is very strange for me. They have not even put an album out
for years and they are still around. They have these diehard fans that
are going to keep them together forever. I have had fans who have read
my book tell me that it makes them feel like a kid again - these are
guys in their 40's who are telling me this.
Jeb: When KISS Alive came out I was ten. KISS were it.
Lydia: That is how I felt about Peter. He was it.
Jeb: I want to know what you think about Peter's make-up being worn by
ERIC SINGER. Should they let him do that?
Lydia: Absolutely not. TOMMY THAYER should not wear Ace's either. Eric
looks more like Peter than Tommy looks like Ace. I have heard that
Tommy is a really nice guy. I have never met him but he actually
bought the book. He emailed me and told me that I did a fantastic job.
He was in charge of KISStory. The book has been compared to KISStory.
Some say it is as good as and some say it is better. I just wanted it
to be as good as.
Jeb: It is hard to compare them because this is KISS through your eyes
and that makes it very personal.
Lydia: Everybody says that the book makes you feel like a fly on the
wall. I think the fans really enjoy that because Peter was the one
that people knew the least about. At one point people told me that his
autograph was the one that was most sought after because it was not
out there. Gene will sign twenty things at a time. Peter was always
shying away from that. There were times that the fans would want his
autograph and Peter would not want to do it. I would have to push him
into it because I felt so bad for the fans. They waited there a long
time to get a glimpse of him and he didn't even want to give them an
autograph. If you put your foot through the door then you need to live
up to the fans. You give away your privacy.
Jeb: When is the last time you spoke to Peter?
Lydia: I have not talked to Peter for years. We had a problem with the
IRS and we had to talk to each other in 1996 but that was the last
time I spoke to him. It was about a week before they signed the
contracts for the reunion tour. He never mentioned a thing about the
reunion to me. He said he needed some paperwork that was destroyed in
the earthquake for the IRS. I was actually approached by the IRS ten
years after I divorced him - that was a little bit of a shock to me. I
am still in touch with Peter's family on holidays and birthdays. His
brother provided some photos for the book. He loves the book. The only
one in the band I still speak to is Ace.
Jeb: Has Peter read the book?
Lydia: Peter has seen the book but I don't know if he has read it. He
has not ordered it, I know that. He did some sort of event in October.
It was a weekend event and I think he was autographing photos and
taking pictures with the fans. I know the fans have brought the book
with them. I don't know if Peter signed the books or not but I have
heard from the fans that he looked through the book and that he liked
what he saw.
Jeb: Last one: If you have been estranged from Peter for that long why
did you bother putting out the book? You could have just kept the
auction money.
Lydia: The fans have been after me to do this for some time. The first
time I did a KISS Expo was in New Jersey. I brought my scrapbooks with
me and the fans just went nuts. I let everyone hold them and look
through them. I let them turn the pages. They have never forgot that.
They have told me for years to do a book. My cousin was in Australia
and she met some people who were KISS fans and she told them that I
was related to her and the first thing they said to her was, "Why has
it taken so long for her book to come out?" I can finally shut the
fans up because the book is out [laughter].
Jeb: Where do they get the book?
Lydia: You get it on my website www.lydiacriss.com You can get it
autographed or not autographed. I will sign anything you request. It
is a four and a half pound book with more than 1500 unseen photographs
and it is 365 pages long. It is a coffee table-sized book With a
deluxe hard cover - there I got it all in!