Kill me now. Seriously. I am dying. I am in Pain. Life has no meaning. I am miserable. Please, please, I implore you, kill me now.

[Walid Khouretsoli]

Hey guys!!! Isn't it wonderfultastic how we get only a 4 day work week
lol!11!!!!! I can't wait for the weekend when I can go out with all my
BFFs and party and get violently drunk and have fun!!!

But honestly, kill me now. Please.

Hahahah j/k! That's short for joke ing. Hhahaha see how I did that??!
lol!11!! I'm clever!

No. For real, kill me. Now. Please.

Oh MAN! Oh man oh man ohmanohmanohmanoh MAN! WOW! I AM excited!

What are you waiting for? End my life, now. Please god damn it, just do
it. I can not take this anymore. This numbness is more painful than any
pain I have ever felt in my life. Pain would be a refreshing change.
Pain would be life.

Ahahahhaaaha lol ROFLLMAO!!!!11111!!!! WHAT AM I LAUGHING AT?!! THAT IS
NOT A QUESTION!!!!?

Kill. Me. Now.

lol!!11!! --> http://www.wittycomics.com/comic/284
http://www.wittycomics.com/comic/285
http://www.wittycomics.com/comic/286

[Boner]

I'm in a meeting right now at my desk, it's on the phone. I have it on
speakersphone and me on mute so they can't hear me. It's all just
backgroun chatter. Whoa! I just heard a loud noise that sounded like
an elephant, that was the first time I heard a funny noise on a
teleconference.

No one even asked about it though, people were silent for a second, and
then continued their disjointed American/Indian conversation about bugs
and useless shit that I don't care about.

When I hear my name I'll know that it's time to unmute myself and say
"sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you, can you repeat that?"

that's all that I do on these bullshit calls. And this. I read the
boards, my email, my livejournal. Sometimes I'll scratch my balls ...
inside my pants. And then I'll flick ball dust on the floor.

Other times, I'll get up and just leave. Go get some water. Do a lap.
Take chances. Maybe someday I'll miss my name being called and people
will wonder where I was.

Oh, India has a holiday today. Just overheard that on the call.
Walid, which one is it? Do you get these holidays? I would totally
capitalize on all this if I could, like you can. Right?

This cubicle is no different from any other.