If God did not exist, is it necessary for man to invent Him?

[Walid Khouretsoli]

But more importantly, if you were flexible enough to bend over and put
your BACOCK in your mouth, would you give yourself a blowie? I wouldn't
even hesitate to think about it for more than a second, and that second
is only to tell my mouth to scream YES as I insert my little me into
it. Don't get me wrong, I would definitely wash my peepee very well
with soap and crisco so it tastes fresh and doesn't smell like cat
food.

Now the second and more important question: if you answered YES with a
mouth full of penis above, would you blow your load in your own mouth?
I am not sure about this. I lean towards no, but I think I would get
all caught up in the excitement of sucking my own dick that I would
forget. I would probably try to pull out in time but wouldn't do it
fast enough and end up shooting myself in the eye.

[Walid Khouretsoli]

FYI, I have called this age old act of X-treme masturbation "Self Gay".
You are a self-gay if you stick your dick in your mouth. I believe self
gayism would apply to you if you managed to stick your dick in your
butt (or your butt on your dick for you relativity analists out there).
However, if you peed while your dick was in your butt, you instantly
become a pee gay, or butt pee gay, or whatever it is called. See my
comment on bidets in the latter mentioned topic.

[Pope]

wow. WOW. I will repeat my comments on you walid, you fucker. I fuckin
love you. Crazy man. THE WILD MAN OF BEIRUT they'll call you in the
papers!

Yeah, I'd take a drag on the dickarette, but I would definitely wrap it
up with the old 5-Star General (my 5-fingered right hand). No interest
in my own fluids.

[Boner]

I honestly don't think I would want my own penis in my mouth ... even
though when I was younger and heard about how people can do this, I of
course tried, and hurt my fucking back!

Think about it though, you would have to spend so much time focusing on
bending over and exerting effort to keep yourself in that position,
that your focus would leave your groin/cock area and it would most
likely go limp in your mouth. Now would you still do it? would you
toss around the fat pasta noodle with your tongue Walid?

Masturbation though, what a great thing. Though I do remember when it
didn't require tissues. That's right, I am such an experience
masturbator that I used to it before I even hit puberty. Can you
possibly think of the confusion and terror that befell me one day when
I witnessed the mess I made all under my sheets? I was fucking
paralyzed! I thought I was sick!!!

That's when my mom and I had a long talk ... while the sheets were in
the wash.

[Walid Khouretsoli]

Holy crap you were like me dude! I used to do magic beatings with no
mess! Although, even though I was a little surprised the first time I
creamed myself, I knew about it and had wanted it to happen since all
my older friends were capable of it. HWARF!

[Walid Khouretsoli]

[Pope]

I was the same!! I thought I was the only one! YEAH! I bet you its a
direct ratio in people who are awesome. Like, for instance I can
guarantee you Chris Korzenowski didn't. I also hurt my back trying to
be marilyn manson...

[Boner]

Oh man, I no longer feel embarassed about my weird sexual stories as a
child ... even though there are more, ones that give me retard tingles
and laughter that brings me to tears simultaneously.

[Walid Khouretsoli]

OK now you have to share these stories. Man trust me, they CAN NOT be
any worse than mine. If you share one, I will share one and one up you.
That is the deal.

Also, the question posed on this thread applies to the ladies as well.
Granted it would a feat of awesomeness to bend that far, but imagine if
you had a magical vagina that extended like a penis. It could look just
like a penis too if you want it to.

[Boner]

And yea! It was all about Marilyn Manson! Like, the news reports on
how he supposedly had ribs removed or something.

I never really felt comfortable about trying to do that until I saw the
Will Ferrell Yoga sketch on SNL. Words can't describe how much more
normal I felt that day.