Tonight at Kick Butt

[snortingmarmots]

Come on out to Kick Butt Coffee tonight for blues brought to you by
Shane Chambers and Rachel ‘DJ BluRay’ Jordan.

KICK BUTT BLUES
Friday, November 12th, 2010
9:00pm-1:00am
$5 Admission

Wondering what you can eat while you dance? Check out Kick Butt
Coffee’s online menu: www.kickbuttcoffee.com/menu.htm

Please, no outside food or drink. Take advantage of the fantastic
food, coffee, alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages available at Kick
Butt Coffee - located at 5775 Airport Blvd. #725, 78752 Kick Butt
Blues is a joint venture between Kick Butt Coffee and the Blues
Association of Austin.

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And here is the part of the message where I treat you to something
random:

Excerpts from ‘Virtual Chickens and the Technivore’s Dilemma’
By Lore Sjöberg

I am patenting, then waiting for someone else to invent so that I can
sue them, VR: The Vegetarian Restaurant. Everyone gets a knife, a
fork, a plate of spackle-grade tofu and a virtual reality helmet that
convinces them they’re eating whatever their inner carnivore desires,
from wine-poached chicken breast to vivisected velociraptor.

I like the idea of saving chickens and making Tofurky palatable, and I
especially like the idea of making unearned millions off the idea. But
what really gets me going is the controversy this will inspire.

The current line between vegetarians and meat-eaters will split into
dozens of factions. For example:

-Technivores, who avoid meat in real life but see no problem with
eating a purely digital chicken.

-Hypercarnivores, who eat meat in real life but use the VR to sample
impossible or forbidden foods like quagga and Tom Cruise.

-Neo-paleocarnivores, who only eat meat that they have hunted and
caught themselves on the plains of a virtual Serengeti.

-Dairy Cheats, vegans who can’t bring themselves to eat meat in any
form, even virtual, but who use the VR helmets to gorge themselves on
cheese pizzas and ice cream.

-Propers, vegetarians who don’t have a problem with virtual meat, but
who refuse to use the helmets because they’re built with rubidium
mined under unsafe conditions.

-Psycho Veggies, who never eat meat at all in real life, but who
insist that all their virtual meals be beaten to death with a
microphone stand while they watch.

-LocaVRs, who happily eat virtual meat, but insist that the tofu beans
for the stand-in meal be grown within 75 miles of their homes.

I think it was someone I made up who said, “The finest inventions are
those which both improve our lives and give us something to argue
about on internet message boards.”

I try to live by those words.

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/11/alt-text-technivores-dilemma/