Please installation instructions in PLAIN SIMPLE ENGLISH

[Nelandir]

I'm sick and tired of these crappy Linux installations!!! Instead of just double-clicking and reading a few sentences, you guys must complicate like hell. Get this right, not everybody is a computer genius, there are us simple folks!
I have Ubuntu as a buck-up system and I want to modify my keyboard layout the way I did in Windows (have you tried installing Microsoft Keyboard Layout Creator? Yes, look at the installer to learn a few things how to make installation simple to people...), but noooooooooooooo. The only Linux alternative I found is Keyboard Layout Editor. I spent hours extracting this, extracting that, downloading this, downloading that, typing this shit in the terminal, typing that, and NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I want to ask is if someone can give me easy instructions, or better yet a bloody installer. And please, I beg of you, DO NOT complicate; just plain simple English (I'll get down to my knees if I need to and kiss your feet; hell, I'll even tongue clean your shoes if it helps).
Keyboard Layout Editor seems to be the same thing Microsoft Keyboard Layout Creator is; its Linux counterpart, but Microsoft Keyboard Layout Creator has an EASY installation.