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Laurelino Braendel
About 1 in 25 adults has ADHD, and many of them are parents. Adult ADHD symptoms like inattention, impulsivity, and trouble staying organized make the already tough job of parenting even more challenging. To make things more complicated, ADHD runs in families. As many as half of kids with the condition have parents who share their diagnosis.
Treatments like medications and behavioral therapy can help your parenting skills shine, and that means less stress for everyone. The right treatment should help you stick to daily routines, like prepping for the school day, getting homework done, and the many small tasks that must be completed before bedtime. This kind of consistency and structure makes things easier for your kids and for you.
If your kids have you feeling stressed or overwhelmed, find a way to take a break. In fact, you should plan regular alone time to unwind. Do you have a hobby? A favorite activity? A club? Schedule time to do these things each week.
As a parent with ADHD, you need to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and how they affect your parenting skills. If you parent with a spouse, partner, or ex, talk to them about this. If you have a friend or relative who can help, loop them in. Work together to devise an effective division of labor:
ADHD symptoms vary a lot. Each person may have more or less trouble attending to particular responsibilities, including parenting. Discuss this with your spouse or partner, of course, but you should also talk to your therapist.
Together, you can go over what you consider your parenting strengths and discuss where your shortcomings lie. This can help your therapist tailor a treatment program that addresses the areas where you need the most help.
For example, you may have trouble getting motivated to stick with necessary tasks, like toilet training, when other things compete for your attention. Your therapist can help you develop skills to stay on task.
If one or more of your kids has ADHD, classes can help you learn to manage their behavior. You might try behavioral parenting training, or BPT. These classes address things like house rules and routine, how to give clear instructions, praising good behavior, and more.
Sheri Madigan receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation, an anonymous donor, and the Canada Research Chairs program.
Andr Plamondon and Joanne Park do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
A parent with ADHD may struggle with time management and staying focused. They may appear to be in control, but their daily life can be chaotic with missed appointments, trouble remembering and enforcing rules at home and a struggle to meet responsibilities.
When under stress, a parent with ADHD may be prone to moments of frustration and anger in response to minor provocations. This emotional struggle can lead to harsh responses to children, which parents often regret once the moment has passed.
ADHD involves patterns of inattention (forgetfulness, being easily distracted), hyperactivity (fidgeting, restlessness) and impulsivity (interrupting conversations or speaking out of turn). ADHD is highly heritable, which mean parents with ADHD will often have a child with ADHD.
An estimated eight per cent of children worldwide have ADHD, while only three per cent of adults meet criteria for ADHD. One reason for this difference may be that symptoms of ADHD become milder as individuals age, especially hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms.
While some individuals may no longer meet ADHD diagnostic criteria in adulthood, they can still experience significant life impairments. These include poorer physical health and socioeconomic outcomes compared to those with no history of ADHD.
However, research has shown an increase over the last decade in diagnosis of adult ADHD, potentially due to increased awareness of ADHD and/or availability of clinical assessments. Several anecdotal reports indicate that parents only realized their own ADHD symptoms when seeking help for their child.
This makes sense in light of the symptoms of ADHD, including difficulties with forgetfulness and impulsivity. People with ADHD also often struggle with regulating intense emotions. Together, these symptoms can make it more difficult for parents to remain calm and consistent when interacting with their child.
Raising kids with ADHD can be challenging. Children with ADHD often benefit from specific strategies like setting clear rules and consistent boundaries, using a system that rewards appropriate behaviour, and spending lots of quality time together. These strategies can be difficult to maintain for parents dealing with their own ADHD.
If you suspect you have ADHD but have not been diagnosed, consult a health-care professional. Family doctors and psychiatrists can offer medication options, while psychologists can provide cognitive behavioural therapy, a highly effective treatment for adult ADHD.
Another avenue of support is clinical psychologists or social workers who specialize in working with children and adolescents, and their parents. Look for someone who can provide behavioural parent training, which is an evidence-based treatment for child ADHD.
Working on developing effective coping techniques (either with or without professional help) may have the bonus effect of providing an opportunity for your child to observe and learn through your example.
For difficult parenting situations that seem to happen again and again, it can be helpful to think back to see if there are common issues that can be addressed proactively. Think about specific problem behaviours you experience with your child, as well as their context (such as where you were, and what happened before and after).
This may help identify common triggers that you can modify proactively the next time you are in a similar situation (see this worksheet). As a simple example: if you notice your child always acts out when bored, you can prepare an activity bag to take with you in these situations.
Adults with ADHD are fully capable of being warm, loving and highly engaged parents. Positive parenting is consistently linked with improved child mental health, so it is worth focusing on building these more positive aspects of your relationship with your child.
By implementing effective strategies for managing ADHD, and seeking out resources when needed, parents with ADHD can create a positive and fulfilling family life, and be a strong supportive source for their children who may be struggling with similar issues.
Parenting a child with ADHD can be more challenging when you have the condition yourself. ADHD traits like impulsivity, low motivation, and disorganization can make many aspects of parenting a child more difficult, especially when your kids exhibit many of the same traits.
Dealing with these challenges is often about finding a balance between your child's needs and your own. In addition to managing your own symptoms, you must also find strategies that help you parent effectively and support your child in school and other settings.
Undiagnosed or untreated adult ADHD can make the stress of parenting a child with the condition even more difficult. Lack of consistency, difficulty coping with frustration, and other symptoms that interfere with daily functioning can make it hard for both parents and children to cope.
Treatments for ADHD often involve the use of medications, but may also include psychotherapy, skills training, and self-help strategies. When family members with ADHD are identified, treatment can be so much more effective and family life much more joyful.
Learning your strengths as a parent and finding ways to address your weaknesses is a great place to start. Find tools to support your needs, delegate certain tasks when possible, and learn more about effective behavior management strategies. Creating structure in your home, minimizing distractions, and practicing self-care can also help you and your child stay on track.
If you have ADHD, parenting a child with ADHD can be even more challenging. Struggles with time management, organization, discipline, and motivation introduce a number of difficulties in day-to-day life.
While there are difficulties, it is also essential to highlight your strengths and your child's. Assess your needs as a family and lean on these strengths while finding ways to manage your weaker areas. You may also find it helpful to think about how having ADHD gives you a better understanding of your child's needs.
ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It is a medical condition. A person with ADHD has differences in brain development and brain activity that affect attention, the ability to sit still, and self-control. ADHD can affect a child at school, at home, and in friendships.
Attention, activity, and self-control develop little by little, as children grow. Kids learn these skills with help from parents and teachers. But some kids don't get much better at paying attention, settling down, listening, or waiting. When these things continue and begin to cause problems at school, home, and with friends, it may be ADHD.
If you think your child has ADHD, schedule a visit with their doctor. The doctor will do a checkup, including a vision and hearing check, to be sure something else isn't causing the symptoms.
To diagnose ADHD, doctors start by asking about a child's health, behavior, and activity. They talk with parents and kids about the things they have noticed. Your doctor might ask you to complete checklists about your child's behavior, and might ask you to give your child's teacher a checklist too.
The right treatment helps ADHD improve. Parents and teachers can teach younger kids to get better at managing their attention, behavior, and emotions. As they grow older, kids should learn to improve their own attention and self-control.
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