How to Be Charming : Informative Text

[omar...@my.panasonic.com]

(Informative) How to Be Charming





Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can walk into
a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. Thats charisma, a sort of
magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.

Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.

1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you dont feel that way on the inside). While walking,
maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to
you when you first practice it, but keep trying.

2. Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. Face the world and show
everyone youre not afraid.

3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another persons, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Dont worry about the
other persons reaction and dont overdo it.

4. Remember peoples names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the persons name when
stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: Hi Jack, Im Wendy. Follow through with small talk and repeat the
persons name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. Its not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a persons name, the
more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance theyll warm up to you.

5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their
immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that subject though you dont want to
be nosy. If you ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much
better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people dont like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have
to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking
up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.

6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If
you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last nights game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their
hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of
interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining.
If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn
more about it.

7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another
person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm
because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to
say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.

8. Dont Lie. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you
like Jane and Billy that you dont like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.

9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally
express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be
viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something,
compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves haircut, manner
of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general
compliment.

10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when
someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the
compliment. Go beyond a mere thank you and enjoin this with Im glad you like it or It is so kind of you to have noticed. These are compliments in
return. Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response Oh well I wish I was as ______
as you/that situation. That is tantamount to saying, No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.

11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise.
For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, you look nice today it should be in the exact same tone that you would
use to say its a nice day. Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder
and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask someone for judgement.


Tips

* Developing charisma is an art. The general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and must
reflect you as an individual or it will appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it simply needs to be coaxed out.
Practice and take note of what works and what needs improvement.

* Dont mimic others. People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway peoples opinions but also to cause others to
emulate their personalities and even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic people do not emulate other charismatic
people. Their individuality sets them apart.

* Have a message. Dont be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in
a respectful way. Your charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.

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Thank you

************************************************************
Omar Bin Mohd @ Ismail
Planner
ISP Center Malaysia
Panasonic AVC Networks Johor Malaysia
IE PLO 460, Jalan Bandar,
81700 Pasir Gudang,
Johor,
Malaysia.
E-mail : omar...@pavcjm.panasonic.com.my
Tel (O) : 60-7-250 1164
Fax : 60-7-251 8562
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