This is out of courteous behaviour: I will say to him "sorry, x; I forgot you were waiting to", or if I knock into him a little I will say "sorry, x" and lots of other situations as well (fyi, we didn't name him x).I tend to do this a lot as I am a very considerate person, and empathic. I also verbalise my thinking for him to learn from and about. I do however also find being assertive difficult because of fear of confrontation, though I am improving there.
Now, I think there's nothing really wrong with saying sorry, as long as you're able to be assertive as well and understand the difference: one is acknowledging that you've caused a trivial inconvenience to someone, and one is feeling bad for something they've done. He does the latter just fine.
Any ideas on how to break that habit for him? It seems to me to be quite a mature concept. I appreciate that the change is likely to be something to do with my behaviour since I'm acutely aware that he learns by what I do and how I treat him, and other people rather than what I've told him to say.
As you've identified, your son has picked this up mostly by example - he mirrors and learns from you and any other family in how he behaves and speaks. It's also something that has to be replaced with other types of speech and behaviours, one way or another.
I'd suggest that this will most likely self-correct as your child begins to spend more time with other children in other settings, who are not quite so polite. Yes, to begin with he'll continue to "sorry" at every occasion, but he will most likely adapt by mirroring the behaviour and speech of the children around him.
Avoid highlighting or drawing attention to the behaviour, and correct it gently, in a way that encourages the child. If you can keep the moment positive, it's usually easy enough to correct a three year old by gently demonstrating what they should say. If he says "sorry Daddy, I forgot you were getting a towel", just smile, put on a cheerful voice and say "say: I forgot you were getting a towel, Daddy!" and then when they repeat it, smile and celebrate with them somehow to show how happy you are with this way of behaving.
I suspect the thing that you find most concerning is the negative aspect of the child's phraseology, that it's self-deprecating. So if you can replace it with positive spins on the same situations, it teaches the child that this isn't a shameful situation, and is something they should respond to cheerfully.
Kids change their language and behaviour all the time, and 'try on' different patterns and phrases. So you've still got plenty of time for him to reshape this attitude. It may be 'pretty ingrained' today, but that can change fast at this age and stage.
A Class 12 student has died by suicide in Telangana's Adilabad district. While the suicide note says he was upset because he missed an exam for turning up late, a senior education official has said he did not show up at all.
The body of Tekum Siva Kumar was recovered from Satnala dam this afternoon. A suicide note was found near the landing he must have jumped from. His watch, wallet and other items were found with the note. In his wallet were two photographs - his and his father's.
The note in Telugu read, "I am sorry, daddy, forgive me. I am not able to cope with this trauma. You have done a lot for me, but I am not able to do anything for you. I have never felt this bad. I have missed the exam for the first time. I am feeling terrible," the note says.
About 10 lakh students of the Telangana state education board are taking the intermediate exams that started yesterday. Among the exam rules laid down by the state board is a strict provision that has been challenged in courts too. This rule says that a student won't be allowed to take the test even if he/she reaches the exam centre a minute late. As the exams began, many students were seen crying outside and pleading with the examiners to let them in.
Burra Venkatesham, vice-chairperson of Telangana State Board of Intermediate Examination, said the youngster cannot be seen in the CCTV footage of the exam centre till five minutes after the test started at 9 am. He also said reports from the district education office and police confirm this.
"The student may have been under exam-related stress, but the latecomers-not-allowed rule may not apply in this case," he said. The official said helpline numbers are being set up to help parents and students reach out in stress.
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