roll call

[Peggy Archuleta]

Hello Dear Friends,

Three years ago we spent over a week together learning to understand ourselves and everyone around us better.   What a game changer that was!   The time I spent with all of you had a positive impact on my life at home, at work, and elsewhere in my world.  What a gift!  Three years later I feel prompted to thank you again for being part of that experience.

I’m certain a lot has taken place in each of your lives over the past three years.  I would absolutely love to hear from you and hear how you are doing.  All is well here.  I hope you are all healthy, happy, and living the life you always dreamed of :)

Love,

Peggy 

[Douglas P Dolstad]

Hello gang (a term Marshall used to use,and one I like as well)

Good to hear from you Peggy and bring everyone else to mind and heart.  

We are about to launch our 12th annual NVC Family Camp.  We're at capacity (130) with people on the waiting list.  Last year we raised the $$ to bring two teams from the Middle East who want to start FC's in their respective areas , (Palestine,West Bank) and somewhere in Israel with the hope to have a blended camp in a few years).  This year Barb went to China with the result that we're presently scrambling about for an interpreter fluent in three languages:   NVC-Chinese-English for the 20 or so family members who will coming from mainland China to attend Family Camp.  Whew!

The NVC enclave at our farm on Vashon (where Family Camp is held) is building steadily.  A blend of NVC trainings/outreach and earth-based NVC.  We've a young man living there whose dream it is to provide food for people.  Liam is in his 2nd year now and feeling very optimistic.  An active market garden, greenhouse, chickens and some experiments with mushroom culture among other projects.   Looking to add sheep and,...?

Barb has been very involved in the re-organization/creation of a new international NVC organization.  You can all be part of it if you wish.  That's a lovely thought!   Look for more on that by and by. 

We're well and happy.  Involved with life and enjoying three things that contribute to that enjoyment: 

Something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to.

Doug n Barb

Douglas P Dolstad

Vashon Island, Cascadia Bioregion

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[MarilynMullen]

Hey gang!

First, Peggy thank you so much for initiating this online reunion.  You are a Queen Bee Communicator in my book, and I’m already enjoying the buzz :)

And Doug ~ thanks for the headlines from your world.  I’m even more excited that I get to volunteer at FamCamp this year ~ woohoo!

I’ve so many warm and vivid memories from our IIT in Albuquerque ~ which is saying something, since I sometimes have to look at my calendar just to remember what I did yesterday :)

I look forward to savoring every bit of news and connection from everyone moved to share a few words.

As for me, tomorrow I finish my 8th NVC foundations course here at Casper College which has been a wonderfully enriching and growthful experience.  Also been facilitating a practice group for 2.5 years, which is now pausing for summer.  My quarter acre veggie,  flower & herb garden continues to be a work in progress, by turns thrilling me and stressing me out when there’s more to do than I can handle.  Bob & our dog Brodie are wonderful companions, now including trips with the 3-person inflatable kayak we got in April.  Nearby Alcova Reservoir is my favorite place to take it, a spectacular Wyoming place worth googling for images.

Much enjoying Doug’s reference to something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to.  Check, check and check.

Love & Peace,

Marilyn

[Douglas P Dolstad]

I KNEW!!!! you were 2013.  I even looked for an alumni list but didn't find one so I didn't crow about you being at Camp last year and this and the wonderful energy you've brought.   Looking forward to doing it all again!

Doug

Douglas P Dolstad

Vashon Island, Cascadia Bioregion

[Serafina Lawles]

Hello beautiful people!

It is such a joy to read these emails. Thank you Peggy for initiating this! 

I have not been directly active in the NVC community recently but certainly continue learn to apply it in daily life. For me, much has certainly changed! I am recently divorced, which was our chosen strategy to better meet both of our needs going forward, and moved into my own apartment at the beginning of May. I am enjoying the freedom to discover and create my own path as a single momma, with the support and friendship of my girls' father. I love having my own space, which is right across from the river that several of us spent some time in during the IIT. This meets my need for connection to the earth and having a little bit of breathing room while still being centrally located here in town.

I started back to school last fall with an intent to study sociology and economics - or, more specifically, how to most effectively contribute to the creation of a world that works for everyone on a systemic and societal level. :) This is what deeply motivates me. I have been able to work part time doing transcription and captioning from my computer, which allows me the flexibility I desire with school, children, dancing, and to pursue other opportunities that call to me as they arise!  

There are certainly challenges that come with these choices, emotional, financial, relational, etc, but I am constantly looking for and finding what opportunities and choices I haven't even considered yet that better contribute to my needs and my own ability to contribute to the lives of others... It is a beautiful journey and I find that somehow I am always supported in it! So much gratitude for that.

I look forward to hopefully hearing more about what is alive in each of you in this conversation...

Thank you all again for your contributions and presence in the 2013 IIT. I think of each of you fondly.

Much love,

Serafina 

 

On Wed, Jun 22, 2016 at 9:50 AM, Douglas P Dolstad <dpdo...@gmail.com> wrote:

I KNEW!!!! you were 2013.  I even looked for an alumni list but didn't find one so I didn't crow about you being at Camp last year and this and the wonderful energy you've brought.   Looking forward to doing it all again!

--

[Jenny Goodwine]

Hi there friends!

SO nice to hear from you all, and to remember the anniversary of my
foray into NVC -- and really, my foray into adult life and forging my
own path. That IIT was really my first step out of my hometown and
into the broader world... I'm remembering now the deep warmth of
community at our IIT, and the incredible growth and FUN we had
there... Ahhh... I really love you all! Thanks so much for initiating
this, Peggy!

I find myself at this moment in what Tibetan Buddhism might call the
"bardo" state... I'm sort of in-between "lives" at the moment, having
just had some major changes happen all at once: I quit my job, I ended
an 8-month long relationship, and my landlord is selling my house!
Hahaha. I now wait in this slow, quiet, anticipatory zone of "what's
next?" I'm really eagerly looking forward to what's coming, although
my rational mind doesn't know what that is. My heart, however, seems
to know exactly where its going, so I'm following, trusting.... And
inspiration is coming.... :)

To give a bit of an update, I have been living in Seattle since I came
to WA for Family Camp in July 2014. After family camp, I began
interning at Freedom Project in Seattle -- an organization that
presents workshops on NVC and mindfulness within 5 state prisons here.
Last October, Freedom Project hired me full-time as Prison Programs
Director. I was very excited; however, the work took me out of the
prisons, and into the office, where I did incredible amounts of
administrative work, and had to deal with the politics and bureaucracy
of this loveable, yet full-of-growing-pains operation. That is to say:
I was NOT doing my heart's work. Being in the prison as an intern
prior to that had been incredibly gratifying, as we all built
beautiful, heart-felt NVC community together inside prison walls. It
was/is an incredibly dedicated group inside the prison that drank up
NVC like water. But this past May, I decided to quit after an 8-month
jaunt as the Prison Programs Director, and I am so grateful to say
that it was a pretty painless decision. I felt very clear.

In addition to that, I ended a difficult but growthful relationship
back in March, and then a couple months ago, my landlord informed us
he would be selling the house I've been living in for 1.5 years. Ahh,
life. Really keeps me on my toes ;)...

One cool thing I've been LOVING is doing a form of body-based therapy
called Somatic Experiencing, which is a method of resolving trauma, be
it developmental trauma or shock-trauma. It's based off of the work of
Peter Levine, and I've found the work to be incredibly engaging and
profound for me. Has anyone else done this work?

And so for now, in this moment... I'm in Seattle, in this bardo state,
as I pack up my things in this house, thinking about work, travel,
housing... and looking toward the future with excitement. I have a
hankering to do a Vipassana Retreat this July in Southern Washington,
although I'm on a pretty long waiting list, so I'm feeling out what my
heart is yearning for next. It's been a hugely emotional last several
months, and so this summer I'm dedicating to healing and restoring
myself back to state of joy, strength, deep inner certainty, and hope.
I envision quiet, nature, meaningful work, and warm, loving community.
I'll be off to the Midwest for a short time in August for a wedding
and maybe some family time, and who knows what this fall will
bring...! But I'm down for it!

Love you all! Thanks for being in touch! And thanks for sharing,
Peggy, Doug, Marilyn, and Serafina! Glad to know what's been keeping
you and your hearts busy!

Be in touch!

LOVE,
Jenny

[Michael Hackett]

Hello Peggy,  in me is a sense of joy, smiling now as I hear the memories in my mind, of our phone conversations many evenings beyond June 2013 .

Douglas, in me right my memory shows me pictures of you in radiant connection with all life unfolding in you at each moment at NVC intensive. It is only this past year that I notice a certain leaning in me toward each expression of life with embrace rather than just wanting to keep the joy and chase away the pain alive in me. In me right now is appreciation for the way your beingness inspires compassionate self care alive in me each moment ...

Serafina , congratulations on your divorce, I say that with care for the Woman you are to step forth and engage a quality of life ,I imagine brings you space for expressing your inner longing to contribute to life making that wonderful for you and others ,,, especially your daughters ....

Jenny , I hear your awareness for the energy of life unfolding around you and in you, I'm guessing there is a quality of embrace for life in you that bubbles with aware for the sense of Life force flowing in you, perhaps even noticing your own resistances to some of those qualities of Life Force...

My engagement with NVC brought me into connect with Robert Gonzales Compassionate Living, from those learnings and inner work , I have begun to work with AVP/USA , people in prison , and in that space there is a savoring for the experience of NVC and Compassionate Living in these people in prison for misdemeanor offences .
 Perhaps Jenny with your quality of experience in person with people in prison, AVP/USA will definitely benefit with your compassion .

Gentle Hugs,

Michael J.

Michael J. Hackett
Non-Ordinary Spiritual Counselor
TheCelticJourney.com

Go raibh mille maith agat. (May you have a thousand goodnesses.)

--

[Karen Menehan]

I've enjoyed reading the updates from everyone who has written; thanks!

NVC is still part of my life, mainly as a self-connection tool using the GROK cards and journaling. I co-facilitated an NVC practice group for two years, which was an awesome experience that met my need for contribution and connection, and my sister and I recently took a 5-week NVC & Relationships class. She and I live together, and I was happy that she took the class with me. We live in Santa Cruz with our two small dogs (or as I like call them, our fuzzbands).

Reading updates here, I realize I've missed swimming in the sea of NVC like I used to, and I've begun wondering how I can find a way to share NVC that doesn't involve - spoken in street giraffe - jumping through all the hoops that earning trainer certification involves. ***If people have ideas and input about that, i would welcome that.***

In the meantime, I've been very focused on work and growing as a journalist. Day after tomorrow I leave for a week at the Esalen Institute for its Summer Writer's Camp, led by Cheryl Strayed ("Wild") and other authors. Woot! I've also been meeting my need for exploration and education by traveling - to Yosemite, Utah, Arizona, Seattle, and soon to Denver for the Online News Association nat'l conference. If Donald Trump is elected, moving to Scandinavia or Portugal could be a real possibility for me, as long as my fuzzband can come.

Here's a link to an article I wrote recently:
https://www.massagemag.com/body-image-massage-creates-healthy-self-connection-37525/

Our Albuquerque time together lives within me still; it was nourishment. Thanks, Peggy, for inviting the updates. I want to read one from you, too!

Karen






--------------------------------------------
On Fri, 6/24/16, Michael Hackett <saoirsea...@gmail.com> wrote:

Subject: Re: [June 2013 IIT] roll call
To: "Peggy Archuleta" <parch...@cox.net>
Cc: june-2013-iit-i...@googlegroups.com
Date: Friday, June 24, 2016, 6:25 PM

[Douglas P Dolstad]

On Fri, Jun 24, 2016 at 11:18 PM, 'Karen Menehan' via June 2013 IIT in Albuquerque, NM <june-2013-iit-i...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

Reading updates here, I realize I've missed swimming in the sea of NVC like I used to, and I've begun wondering how I can find a way to share NVC that doesn't involve - spoken in street giraffe - jumping through all the hoops that earning trainer certification involves. ***If people have ideas and input about that, i would welcome that.***

Karen and all,

This issue you mention has been on the minds of many of us who want to see more avenues for people to meaningfully participate in NVC community.   The emerging concept is for the new international organization to be populated by Partners who are active in organizational life and also to have a robust NVC Community.   A key element would be a fantastic web site where people can connect for ever so many reasons - projects, ideas, resources, articles (hint, hint)

With your interest in journalism, you might post a zillion NVC related articles for the benefit of the NVC community and also the larger circle who might be interested in what NVC has to offer.

NVC is spreading very fast.  The interest in China is incredible.  Likewise Japan. 

Best to you in your journalism career!  I can hardly think of a profession more influential in the cultural atmosphere that heavily influences HOW people start to think about events - where attention is focused to the needs related impact of events,  the words used to describe and so forth.  A worthy challenge yes?

Doug

[Susan Kaplan]

Greetings,

What joy to hear from everyone thus far!  How lovely to know about each of your lives and the unfolding that has happened and continues on so many levels.  Thanks Peggy for starting up our connection again.

My life has been full of many planned and unplanned changes.  The challenges include:

After living alone for after my husband and our dog Sparkles died, I decided to invite roommates into this space. 

It did not end up as the sense of community I had longed for, but I celebrate my courage to takes risks and try something new. 

My older brother had a severe devastating seizure and I spent about a year, along with my middle brother, caring for him.

We were able to advocate for him long distance until when we moved him to Tucson, where my middle brother lives.  Whew -

dealing with the medical system is so stressful!  Many people gathered those prayers and energy, which was so helpful

during that time.  Recently I had a biking accident when someone opened their car door into my bike path - a concussion and some strains are healing but I hold much gratitude that it was not serious.

The light is plenty with:

My new golden-chow mix puppy, Abby, who is a joy in my life.  This year I began an embodied Judaism meditation group, which has been so deepening in my life of NVC, Courage & Renewal and listening practices.  I have been leading many Courage & Renewal Retreats (one coming up in August and November on Walking with Loss - finding light among brokenness and change which I also add NVC into the mix).  

My NVC work has been rich unfolding - with teaching Communication as a spiritual practice at the Kabbalah experience, teaching social work students a three credit course in the spring, and last summer a series on introvert & extrovert - finding bridges between our styles; healing generational pain, and power over and power with- understanding and making choices.

My work with Robert Gonzales has been deepening as well, and I treasure my current rich practice from this addition to my

NVC learning.  

J Kendel Johnson and I have been developing NVC into a family conferencing model for restorative justice circles for a local high school, which was challenging but so rewarding!  The parents are not challenging, it was the director who was hard to settle into understanding NVC.  Now she is on board and supportive, so it was worth the slow un folding that this took.  What I am learning is that a long term pairing with someone that I enjoy working with has been so supportive in my own relationship to the work.  J and I have been able to create a deep sense of collaboration and mutuality and shared reality - all so wonderful. Especially when things are moving slower than I enjoyed.

The latest joy is a pilot program for college of nursing - a year long program for seniors nursing students with a research component included!  Faculty have a voluntary invitation into NVC training too.  I see a few clients and one particular one, after three years, has so much joy from her NVC journey!  One session she just wanted to celebrate the whole phone call because it has transformed her whole relationship to life.  That has been super rewarding!

My movement through my certification process has been confusing and slow.  And I am moving forward, step by step.

I’m hoping to do some writing about the power of walking with grief, including the contributions of NVC towards a sense of wholeness and life enriching, even in times of seemingly darkness.  

This summer I am taking off here and there to clean and sort my house.  It has been a long time coming and I find that I

just get distracted when I am so busy with outside work.  So this summer I am making inside work part of my routine.

Also lots of hammock time healing from my concussion - which has turned out to be much needed rest.

Lots of love to each of you!  Let me know if you are coming through Denver sometime!

Be well.

Love and In peace,

Susan Kaplan, M.S.W., M.P.A., R.Y.T.

Listening & Leading From Within® ~
Trainer, Facilitator, Coach, Yoga Teacher, Storyteller & Story Listener®

• Courage & Renewal Facilitator®   

• CNVC Candidate for Certified Nonviolent Communication Trainer 

• Accredited Facilitator, Rocky Mountain Compassionate Communication Network 

• Yoga Teacher - Mindful Heart Yoga

• Storyteller & Story Listener®

(303) 871-8469  (main land line)
P.O. Box 102379, Denver, CO   80250-2379
kap...@earthlink.net
www.susankaplanmsw.com
Facebook:  Susan Kaplan, M.S.W., M.P.A.

[Michael Hackett]

Hello everyone , two pieces of inquiry jump alive inside around NVC  as I read replies !!!

First , in me a curiosity bubbles in me around the cost of NVC training , why so expensive for an intensive, become a trainer .

Is there an under the radar racist tone within the training , why such a minority of color at trainings.

Second why the shift towards countries like China and Japan for facilitating training, is there coincidence that Japan's greater population is middle to well off , I imagine the same may be true for parts of china,,,

Why is there such a race to go abroad to Israel , Palestine , Japan , China , when here in America one in every hundred people is in prison of judicial systems , more correctly one in thirty six people are directly affected in some sense by incarceration... CF Angela Davies on Women, Privilege and Prisons , also Michelle Alexander " The New Jim Crowe".

Is there two or three of yous willing to address or reply to this inquiry please ??

Michael J.

Michael J. Hackett
Non-Ordinary Spiritual Counselor
TheCelticJourney.com

Go raibh mille maith agat. (May you have a thousand goodnesses.)

[Douglas P Dolstad]

I'm enjoying your questions Michael and while I doubt that I will be able to address them completely, I hope to contribute in some way.

Mostly, what I'd like you to know is that NVC is spreading - maybe even in spite of itself.   There are amazing things going on all over - initiated by people of passion, like yourself, who see a need and act on it.

Passion:  That's how the Freedom Project got started.   Working with those who are incarcerated in men's and womens prisons.  And, not just "inside" but also supporting those who do get out.

Same thing with Family Camps and a host of other projects.   If the new NVC organization gets legs under it, there will be plenty of ways to play in NVC-land other than being a trainer.  Hopefully, the first project will be a fantastic web site where people doing NVC things can connect and share resources, ideas, connections. 

Also, the diversity issue is very present in the NVC community.   You might enjoy reading the work product of the "Access" Working Group (part of the New Future Process that is creating the bones of the new international NVC organization)   Try this link to review what's happening.  Once you're at the New Future page, scroll down to Working Group 11  (Access) 

The shift is happening.  Be part of it?

Doug

Douglas P Dolstad

Vashon Island, Cascadia Bioregion

[Amy Vossen Vukelic]

Hello Everyone!

Peggy...so thankful that you once again met your need to connect with all of us....I so appreciate reading everyone's responses. 

I am currently in the middle of three different projects, and look forward to checking in a bit more once i take a break next week. 

For now. just want to say how connected these most recent conversations are to those three projects, specifically around Diversion Practices and Restorative Justice in the Criminal Justice system, and I have been remembering our restorative justice breakout session at the intensive, and working to find ways to insert the NVC process more explicitly. Will definitely look up that link. 

Oh...that intensive in New Mexico still feeds my spirit, and apparently my work! How nice to spend time with all of you in this way. 

peace, Amy

"Start anywhere. Follow it everywhere."   ~Myron Rogers

-----Original Message-----
From: Douglas P Dolstad <dpdo...@gmail.com>
To: Michael Hackett <saoirsea...@gmail.com>
Cc: Susan Kaplan <kap...@earthlink.net>; MarilynMullen <marilyn.m...@gmail.com>; Peggy Archuleta <parch...@cox.net>; june-2013-iit-in-albuquerque-nm <june-2013-iit-i...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Mon, Jun 27, 2016 2:08 am
Subject: Re: [June 2013 IIT] roll call

[Kelly Griffing]

Dearest compassionate community,

It warms my heart to see the loving exchange of NVC dialogue occurring on our anniversary. Peggy thank you for initiating the connection once again. 

I was pondering Michael's question and realized that in my experience the greatest marketing of NVC or connection has come by just showing up differently in all my relationships and that has led to invitations to share it more and more. So at this time an invitation has resulted in being a visiting professor sharing NVC each semester at a local business college dovetailed into their interpersonal communication course. I also accept each and every opportunity to lecture, teach or mediate whenever possible. 

And then 6 months ago I spotted a request for community members to join a summit to rebuild our town using the Appreciative Inquiry process, so I attended out of curiosity. And wow did it speak NVC language so I went up to introduce myself to the speaker and oh my, it was Will Hayes a fellow NVCer from Seattle. And the next wow, he built Allen Seid's house. Small world!! What a wonderful journey this summit has been for us. We hope to start a local NVC group this fall. 

So happy to hear what others are doing too. Feeds my soul!

Warm hugs to everyone!!

Love, Kelly

[Linda Collett]

Hello Everyone,

What a lovely idea Peggy.  Thanks for inviting this sharing and opportunity to catch up.  I have fond memories of my time with all of you in Albuquerque.  What a delightful place and enriching experience.  

A month ago I learned that Bodhi, my four-legged companion for the last 9 years, was gravely ill.  Last week was a particularly emotional week including helping him transition from his ailing body on Thursday.  

There is an emptiness in the house and sadness bubbles up in me at times resulting in tears and an occasional 'ugly cry.' I also feel a sense of satisfaction and peace that I got to be with him and give him excellent care through his illness and transition.  I gratefully received the support of family and friends through the experience including 3 tangible visitations/messages of support from an Ascended Master that were especially meaningful and comforting to me.  

The guidance I have received about Bodhi's untimely death is that it's time for me to start a new chapter in my life, which I am approaching with positive anticipation.  

After IIT I looked for NVC groups in my area and was disappointed not to find any so, unlike many of you, I have not continued my NVC training or practice. 

I have continued my path of spiritual study and growth though and in 2014 I completed 1-½ years of an intensive course of Sufi studies at the Sufi Order International headquarters in New Lebanon, NY, which included multiple 5 to 8-day retreats at their lovely, rustic retreat center.  

Last year I hired a team of business coaches who work with transformational entrepreneurs to help me in my business.  Working with the coaches as well as the other program participants who are all transformational entrepreneurs-- energy workers, healers, coaches etc.-- has been a profound experience of growth and healing.  While my law practice may not be a typical transformational business, transformational entrepreneurs are my peeps and I know that running my business is part of my personal transformation, so this coaching program has been the perfect fit for me right now.  

It's great to learn about what some of you have been up to.  I hope everyone will check in even if, like me, your path hasn't included continued NVC work or study.

With Love,

Mahadevi (Linda)

   

  

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From: Peggy Archuleta <parch...@cox.net>
To: june-2013-iit-i...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 6:53 PM
Subject: [June 2013 IIT] roll call

[Alan Seid]

Hi everyone!

I finally gave myself the time to read this entire thread! I really enjoyed reading the updates!

My update:

Family

My partner of 22+ years and I have decided that what will most contribute to our needs is to transform the roles “husband” and “wife” into "friends and co-parents.” We love each other dearly and want to raise our children together, but we no longer want to be married. She and the kids moved next door which is really great! We eat dinner as a family 2 or 3 nights a week, and still have a sense of family. I think it’s as amicable and harmonious as it is because it’s the result of an approximately 20-year NVC conversation!

My kids, 12, 9, & 5 are all doing well. 

Land

Our property was threatened by logging right above us but our neighborhood rallied and took Dept of Natural Resources to court — and won — because we were able to prove land slide danger. Whew!

The mother of my children does not want to live on the land we’ve been living on, but I do. So I need to buy her out. (!!) This brings up a lot of stress for me. If you have any ideas on how I can raise $200K let me know! :-)

We have lots of projects happening on the land. Fruit trees are jamming!

Work

My bread-n-butter is coaching and mentoring which I do from home over the phone or Skype.

I just completed the first ever multi-day residential NVC retreat at my place. That was a big success! Actually, Charmine and her husband came all the way from Alaska! It was really great. We catered it internally and it turns out that cooking really is one of my assistant, Kari’s, superpowers!

I've also been highly sought-after in the Spanish-speaking world. It turns out that there are not many fluent in Spanish _male_ NVC trainers! Next year I have been invited to teach at intensives in Mexico, Spain, and Chile.

I usually keep my head low and stay focused on my work — but if there is ANYTHING I can do for you please contact me!

Love,

~Alan