our community

[Peggy Archuleta]

Dear Friends,

I want to thank Michael and recognize him for his courage in striving to teach us something new.  I appreciate you, Michael, for understanding that many of us thought we were participating in an extension of the Need of the Day, hence the confusion.  I respect your decision to discontinue the Word of the Week for now.  I’m hoping you’ll be able to share with us what you learned from Robert Gonzalez as we go along....perhaps in bite-sized morsels for folks like me who digest things slowly! :)  In the meantime, I’m looking forward to starting the Needs exercise where we left off with Barbara, hopefully in January. 

There is so much I love about our community, and about each individual. Right now I just want to celebrate our longevity.  May we continue to grow together in love, compassion, and peace.

Hugs to all,

Peggy

[Michael Hackett]

Peggy , I am glad happy to read such sweet words from you,

for sure your constant contribution inspired me each day, yours words coaxed me to find time to write out of my heart,
 and indeed growth in my own maturity has been nurtured with your coaxing contribution !

Love and Hugs Sister,

Michael.

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 "Go raibh mille maith agat"
May you have a thousand goodness's


Michael J Hackett

828 980 0843.

[Amy Vossen Vukelic]

Wow!!! I have been away from email for about one week, and just completed reading the batch of emails around people's needs for clarity around the Needs of the Week that Michael introduced. 

I, too, receive all of the emails as someone who has nurtured, helped form, participated in, and value intentional communities, and this one seems to be experiencing a growth spurt. I find myself feeling giddy at the ability to forge through the tunnel of tension that people's responses elicited. Susan, like you, I believe that working through the need for clarity, understanding, acceptance, and welcome via emails can offer its own tension. 

What i receive from this Whole Package is honesty, affirmation, clear requests, vulnerability, and understanding. And I also sense that our jackals have enjoyed some play, as well. 

I have found inspiration in Jean Vanier's book called Community and Growth. Several elements from the book echo as I read the exchanges:

Authority of a community:  Vanier titles a whole chapter "Authority as a Gift." His definition includes "all those who are giving direction, support, and formation to others." I continue to celebrate that our community includes many people who offer authority as a gift. I celebrate that people have been "a person to whom others can turn to for help and advice, to provide security, to affirm, support, and encourage and to guide." "To exercise authority is to feel truly responsible for others and their growth, knowing too that ...people are not objects but people with hearts in whom resides light, and the desire to grow to the freedom of truth and love."

Nine years ago, I was attracted to and fell in love with NVC because using this process captures the essence of community for me,  illuminating each person's ability to bring Their True Selves to the world.  Susan, Allison, Michael, Bruce, Peggy, and everyone else who offered feedback and questions brought Your Selves to this world. I feel touched and honored that you opted to share your vulnerability to me/us, rather than choose to opt out of a conversation that could illicit tension, or "contraction (Allison...that word will stay with me!)."

One of the favorite parts of community for me is that through the tension comes growth, as long as we choose to ride the Wave of Tension to the shore. I agree again with Vanier, who says that tensions cannot be "hidden or brought prematurely to a head...they need to be treated with sensitivity, individual reflection and dialogue, patience until community can feel safe again,  "and mark the necessary step toward a greater union......Every tension can become a source of new life or can bring death or division." 

I appreciate that this thread of emails has included all of the above: sensitivity, patience, maturity, and individual reflection.....Susan, I deeply appreciated that you took some time to check in with yourself for several days before responding to us, as your response was your own, and seemed to come from a place that was honoring your willingness to let yourself dance somewhere between your Protected Heart and Open Heart. The dance is a beautiful one, and I always welcome the space between your emails as your ability to offer yourself the same empathy you offer to all of us. And everyone else's as contributions to this community come and go. 

I also come to the email thread as someone who also participated in Robert's retreat in Ohio, and receive Michael's enthusiasm to share with our group as gift. And sometimes for me, I need quiet reflection time to let the excitement of experiencing Truth sink in before trying to share it, wanting connection within before working for connection with others. Just as I needed time to share my experience in New Mexico with my family, I still need time to share my experience in Ohio with all of you. Michael, i can guess that your original email came from a place that wanted to offer deeper connection with this group....to offer your learning, to contribute. And then the email you shared around your realization that you have lived life in a patriarchal system seemed to echo a certain loss of innocence, and clear understanding that you choose to live in a different system now. Two experiences that, standing alone, can create quite an inner paradigm shift.

Speaking of paradigm shifts, I feel touched to the point of tears when i experience the power of compassionate communication, in all of its forms, as I did in New Mexico, and again in Ohio.  Please allow one more thought: I believe each and every person's voice is welcome to me, regardless of the topic at hand, or how long it takes to reach a decision that includes respect for them....be it the request to offer clarity around the Need of the Week or air conditioning. Listening to each other, and ourselves as we "put the other before us" takes time, and i celebrate our willingness to allow space for people to speak their needs. What i appreciate most in those times is the assistance we each offer to create requests from our needs. In this domination culture, we need to dive deep into our needs, in order to learn the difference between the essence of the need and the strategy. Just before starting this email, I heard a basketball coach say that he requests that his team practice drills 20-30 times...not so that they will "start getting it right." Rather, he believes the repetition creates the ability to "never get it wrong" because the action becomes second nature. I find that any attempt to share honestly with each other is never getting it wrong......therein lie the tears.

Thanks to each person for your courage, honesty, presence, and willingness. Once again and still, i feel a deep sense of peace, having received community in a true form. 

Amy

[Bruce Campbell]

Tank you all once again for sharing your thoughts, knowledge and above all, feelings and needs.

Warm wishes, 

Bruce

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