The mp3 files should start within a second or so unless you are on a slow network. EG., worse than 3G.
My thinking is that your MP3 files are encoded incorrectly. We recommend using CBR, 44.1kHz sample rate and a bitrate of 128kbs. The VBR used to do odd stuff like that, but since I never use them any more, I cannot say what the latest iOS does with VBR these days. The duration is not possible to calculate until the entire VBR is download, which might be the root of the problem with the long mp3 files. With CBR mp3 files, the duration is a snip to calculate using the content length and bitrate... The browser does that. jPlayer has no control over any of that.