Jake and Bubba
Two rednecks, Jake and Bubba, were sitting
in a bar one night watching rasslin' on the tube. At the end of the
match was an advertisement. A loud, obnoxious character came on
screaming about the $10,000 dollars prize money for anyone who could
defeat "The Killer".
Jake looked at Bubba, a 6' 4" giant
with the brain
the size of a pea, and got an idea. He told Bubba, "I bet you could
beat that guy. He doesn't look so rough, and you're no wimp." Bubba
thought about it for a minute and agreed that he probably could.
The next weekend Jake and Bubba went down to
the stadium where the tournament was to be held and signed Bubba up.
An old man came up and started briefing them on the rules of the
contest and such. Jake, seeing Bubba was a bit nervous, asked the
old man for any tips. The old man looked up to Bubba and said, "Just
you watch out for his pretzel hold. Ain't nobody ever gotten out
One by one, the contestants ahead of Bubba went
in and came back balled up and hurting. Two hours after they
arrived, Bubba's turn was finally up. In the ring, right before the
bell rang, Bubba looked back at Jake and said,
buddy. I can avoid that pretzel thing." But not ten seconds after he
had gotten up in the ring was The Killer laying on top of the
contorted ball of Bubba and the referee was pounding the mat,
counting to ten.
Jake screamed and started walking back to
the locker rooms. He was pissed. He had shelled out $500 to get
Bubba in this contest, and it didn't last 20 seconds. But right
before he got to the door, the crowd went wild! Jake ran back to the
ring to see Bubba with one foot on top of the unconscious Killer and
one armed raised in the air by the referee.
Jake ran into the
ring and jumped on Bubba. The crowd was out of control, and Jake and
Bubba were $10,000 richer!
Later in the locker room, Jake
confessed to Bubba he didn't see what happened. Bubba said, "Well,
The Killer got me in his pretzel hold and I thought all was lost. I
hurt like I'd never hurt before and all I could hear was the ref
slamming his hand down counting to ten.
Then I looked and in
front of me I saw this big, hairy sack of balls. I had nothing to
lose and figured it might even help. So I stretched a little further
and bit down as hard as I could on those things."
Bubba said. "You wouldn't believe the strength a man gets when he
bites his own balls."
Sexy Toys for your Honey
Group of Prisoners
of prisoners are in their rehabilitation
meeting. Their task for the day is to each stand up in turn, speak
their name, and admit to their fellow inmates what crime they
The first prisoner stands and says, "My name is
Gabe and I'm in for murder." Everyone gives him approving looks and
pats on the back for admitting his wrongdoing.
The next guy
stands up and says, "My name is Rich and I'm in for armed robbery."
Again, there is a round of approving looks. This goes around the
circle until it gets to the last guy.
He stands up and says,
"My name is Eli, but I'm not telling you what I'm in for." The group
leader says, "Now, come on Eli, you have to admit it to us to make
Tell us what you did." "OK then," agrees Eli,
"I'm in for fornicating with dogs." Everyone is disgusted. One in
the group shouts out, "That's sick! How low can you go!?!"
"Chihuahuas, " replies Eli.
Please Visit our