Wespank Real Punishment Of Child High Quality
Ethelyn Mullice
In my last post, I wrote about the slippery slope between spanking and child abuse, the slippery slope which appears to have pulled Adrian Peterson and much of the public discussion about spanking over the edge of the precipice. Today, I want to address the reasons we use to rationalize spanking, and talk a little about setting broken tools aside.
But the idea that giving up spanking means becoming a passive parent presents a false choice. Setting aside corporal punishment is not synonymous with parental abdication. It simply means choosing to use new tools.
Effective parenting and child guidance requires a well-stocked tool box, a variety of techniques with different purposes for different situations. Once parents have confidence in the tools around them, they find it much easier to set their broken tools aside.
My parents were violent and unstable substance abusers (I would say drug addicts but they were hooked to every drug and drink out there). My father would beat me when he was drunk. In his sober days he was a devout Christian. He quoted the Bible to me as he spanked me.
In early education, there is too much distance between what we know and what we do. I bridge the gaps that exist between academia, decision-makers, educators, and parents so that together, we can improve the quality of early education while also respecting and protecting the childhood experience.
An act by a parent or other guardian causing deliberate physical pain or discomfort to a minor child in response to some undesired behaviour by the child. Corporal punishment of children typically takes the form of spanking or slapping the child with an open hand or striking with an implement such as a belt, slipper, cane, hairbrush or paddle.
My aim is not to judge the motives of any loving parent, but to simply point out for your consideration the overwhelming scientific research on the negative effects of corporal punishment on children.
When Casey and I first got married and we began having discussions about children, the subject of spanking arose. Casey was dead set against spanking, and I was dead set for spanking. Turns out, neither of us were right.
We both grew up in homes, like many other kids from our generation, where spanking was a common form of discipline. I don't know how often Casey was spanked or if that was the reason she was so dead set against it as a form of discipline for our girls, but I know how often I was spanked. And that's the reason why I support it.
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I was spanked a lot as a kid. My mother has apologized over and over again for the amount of punishment. I never understood why she was apologizing, and at one point, a few years ago, I told her it wasn't necessary. I needed and deserved the spankings I got. I was a bad kid. I knew how to push my sisters' buttons and I did it frequently and purposefully. There was nothing that my mother could have done to stop the constant teasing except for spanking. I was terrified of being spanked and that was the one punishment that swayed my behavior. Any other punishment? It was no big deal. Bring it on.
Thus, that was the mindset I had going into parenthood: my children will be spanked. Once Addie was born, something changed. I didn't think there was any way that I could spank my daughter. It just didn't seem possible, and it still doesn't seem possible now. Casey felt the same way after Addie's birth, right up until Addie turned five years old.
There came a point with Addie where we could not curb any of her bad behavior. It didn't matter what we threatened her with. Time out? Sure, two minutes later she'll be back to doing the same naughty things. Grounding and taking away certain toys? Sure, she'll just find something else to play with and she'll continue the naughtiness. No TV? Don't even bother. We even threatened her using Santa, and that was a no go as well.
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Casey and I felt like we were at our breaking point. We were completely lost and started to feel like the situation was hopeless. Then one day while I was at work, Casey called crying. She said, "I just spanked Addie." I was shocked. That's the type of decision parents should make together, not just on a whim.
Addie had made Casey so angry that morning, that Casey felt like the only options she had were to spank Addie or verbally berate her. She chose to spank Addie because she felt it would be less traumatic. She then googled how to resolve any lingering issues that may have followed the spanking. (Casey explained the experience here.)
I was a little upset about it at first, but I soon learned that it was the right decision. Addie's behavior changed dramatically. She began listening to us and we haven't had to spank her since. Hopefully, we never have to again.
So yes, we spank our children.
- By Cody Coombs
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The Bible also condones slavery, says that unmarried women who are raped are required to marry their rapist, married women who are raped should be stoned, and people became ill as a punishment from god. But we as a society have (thankfully) opted to not follow everything that is written in a book from a time when the above things were okay and people were so ignorant. When you know better you should do better. There are better and more loving ways to raise children. Does your husband also beat you, since that is condoned in your bible?
Understandably, some people think these verses mean that spanking children is an acceptable and even preferred method of discipline. The Christian group Focus on the Family offers parents 7 tips for effective spanking on their website, including "use a wooden spoon or some other appropriately sized paddle and flick your wrist," since "if it doesn't hurt, it isn't really discipline."
I believe that parents should spank their children. Some children do not respond to punishments that are not physical. Children who are overly disrespectful are the ones that need physical punishment. I'll admit that there are a few negatives with spanking, but it also depends upon the parent-child relationship as well as how often the punishment is administered, to what severity, and under what circumstances. Here is my blog with a few of my thoughts on spanking children: -misbehaving-public-whooping/
some times the child will not listen or learn unless spanked, some children are just so bull headed and stubborn about doing bad things that no other forms of punishment will work because they think it is a joke and they laugh about other kinds of punishment. in addition, if you start using other links of punishments parent have been condemned about using alternative kinds of punishment also. I mean, the people who object to spanking object to almost all kinds of punishments and will fault people from using them also. if you are a single mother and her child is getting older and bigger and the mother wants to keep her child from becoming a delinquent, so that is supposed to be acceptable?
Every child pushes limits during their entire life . As they learn right from wrong some times in rare situations a good swat on the palm of the hand enough to get their attention can help in difficult children . It's better if you seek help in talking firmly with a explanation what and why a wrong is . Children are learning limits if you can give them examples of results on their level of what happens when one continues a wrong action . It must be on their learning level . As for swatting a child with intentional force to many get caught up in angry actions leading to damage both physical and mental . Never punish while angry even a bad day at work can effect your control . I personally had a set of parents that went to far causing real physical perminate damage as well as mental . There are 3 of us kids and that was in the 60-70s . It was acceptable to Paddle in schools as well , in one instance while in school JR High our History teacher also men's basketball coach allowed boys to toss paper balls at the trash can . If you missed that was one whack with a large paddle . Well I,missed as did several other boys out in the hall for our whacks . The coach would throw his arm way back and really cause bruises . I was standing behind him and when he drew back he hit me square in the forehead knocking me backwards . This is not the proper use of a punishment today in fact coach would likely be fired . Once I got a paddling for soemthing I did not do again misjustice at a very early stage in 1st grade . That incident made me despise authority even that young . No teacher should punish without administration assistance in public schools to many children with mental difficulties are damaged instead of getting proper help . I also,believe we wayyyyy overprescribing certain drugs that's being given to children to stop certain behavior the easy way . The easy way creates addiction very early in life often leading to much stronger harder drugs. Look at our heroine abuse among now JR high up its a epidemic started in the eastern states years ago it has spread nation wide . This I believe is results of addictive prescriptions that later these children self medicate but they get caught in a deadly game that ends badly . Should we whip our children No ! There are far better ways even the most poor of us can do,to end bad behavior . It takes a dedicated parent and it takes faith in a higher power greater than any other . It's your choice who,or what that higher power is to you . Each of us have different views some might think beating a child works best but to me that's a lazy abusive way to cope with difficult children .Pastor Brenten Stevens
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