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What exactly is a fuck buddy - Someone you sleep with casually, an extended-stay one night stand, your boyfriend or girlfriend, serious relationship minus the feelings? These are all legitimate, and important, questions that need clarification in this new age of casual dating, local hookup apps, and overall shameless sluttiness of modern culture. A fuck buddy is someone who you are sleeping with (aka fucking) where there is a mutual understanding that each party is simply using the other for sex - to fulfill a carnal need. A fuck buddy is generally not your boyfriend or girlfriend, or even a mistress, side-chick, or boy toy you're seeing casually. A fuck buddy specifically is a subset of the casual relationship / casual sex where both parties understand that the relationship is simply for both parties to engage in no strings casual sex with minimal feelings, emotions, or repercussions.

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Ultimate Guide to Using a Fuckbook Successfully
Fuck Buddy Basics

Essentially, a fuck buddy is someone you can rely on for sex on demand. Yes, you can be friends with your fuck buddy, but it’s not a requirement (and many successful fuck buddy relationships are composed of two people who are not friends or even similar at all). Fuck buddies are discrete, carefree, and most of all, enjoy safe and discreet casual sex with a steady partner.

How to find a local fuck friend

There are a couple of really easy ways to meet fuck buddies near you. Long gone are the days of mailing dick pics through USPS, perusing craigslist for sketchy encounters, or simply going to that Asian massage parlor for a quick rub and tug. No, my friends, it’s never been this easy (in the history of humankind as we know it) to find local fuck buddies near you. With smartphones going completely mainstream in civilized and uncivilized countries alike, we’ve seen an explosion of casual hookups. Yes, those little computers in our pocket are leading to a massive explosion of casual sex, fuck buddies, and even an increase in STDs (yes, slightly disturbing. Click here for more info).

Now there are other ways of finding casual encounters, no strings sex, and ultimately a long term fuck buddy, but unless you’ve already got some solid game or flirting skills, it will take a bit more effort to get ‘er done. A great place to find fuck buddies is to simply go out to bars and clubs. This is not for everyone. I can personally say, that even as a moderately attractive male in a high-income bracket I struggled to “pull” women out of the club for casual hookups. While this somewhat boggled my mind, what made it worse was seeing complete losers (so I thought) be highly successful with women at clubs and bars. After suffering through the 4 stages of grief related to my incompetence with bar and club dynamics, I began to research typical Pick-Up Artist / PUA basics – body language, tonality, approaches, etc. to increase my chances at hooking up in bars and clubs. Although watching RSD Tyler and Julien (the most hated man on earth) get more pussy than the LA Lakers can be quite demoralizing (or just downright offensive if you’re not accustomed to viewing extreme pimping) investing in learning their techniques did help.

The moral of the story is – if you’re already okay at picking up women at bars, clubs, and other social settings, well then I’m not even sure why you’re still reading. If you need some work, on the other hand, just know that yes picking up women (uh and men?) is a skill, and yes, you can get better at it. For those of you who want to skip the dirty work of buying drinks and schmoozing with liquored up slam hogs and gutter sluts and find a fuck buddy in a “streamlined way” well then, by all means, download a casual hookup app and begin your quest for sex on-demand in the peace and serenity of your comfort zone.

Using casual sex apps correctly

Now hold on there frisky, because just downloading a fuckbuddy app is not going to guarantee you more action. Like most things in life, at least some effort must be put into executing something correctly. In the case of casual sex apps, there are a few guidelines, best practices, and rules-of-thumb that you need to keep in mind.

#1. Use a fuckbook profile picture of your face, and smile for god sake

Yes, the best way to attract a potential casual sex partner is to have your initial profile picture be of your face. In general, you want to be smiling, although it’s not necessary. Please, I repeat please guys, do not use your dick pic as your profile picture. Also, ladies and guys, make sure you show your profile pictures to a close friend so they can give you an outside opinion on how they look. Being human means we’re not perfect. That being said, humans have a tendency now and then to pick the most hideous pictures where they mistakenly think they look amazing. Have your friends check your photos to make sure you’re not using photographs that you think look amazing, but in reality, you look like Mike Tyson.

#2. Don’t send your dick pic, or nudes, to them right off the bat

Now, folks, I’m all for a good dick pic, but it has to be done with class. While it’s daring, the best way to send a dick pic is to include your face and body – trust me, the ladies will appreciate the openness. Second of all, don’t simply include just your cock (no balls) from a strange angle that makes your dick look like something out of a discovery channel special on deep-sea fish. Bottom line: don’t send the dick pic right away, but when you do, have some class.

#3. Remember that some people are looking for more than just casual sex

You should treat casual dating apps like a sales funnel. Your profile will get x amount of hits, and some percentage of those hits will turn into leads (in this case members you interact with on the app), and finally, a percentage of those leads will turn into actual customers (aka fuck buddies). Okay, so maybe the analogy wasn’t the most concise way to explain this. The point is, is that people join casual dating apps for different reasons. Some people are looking for friends or serious relationships, other members may legitimately be whores (yes folks I’ve heard from numerous people that there are literal whores on tinder in San Francisco now). It follows as such, that you’re going to have to “weed out” a few people before you find someone that is a good fuck buddy match.

#4. Don’t be a creep on adult dating apps

If girls tell you that you’re creepy in real life, then chances are that that creepiness will carry over into the digital world. It’s easy said than done (and yes I’ve been a creep before) but it’s important not to come off creepy. If you feel like you’re coming off creepy, then you probably are. You’re the best bet to recover is to sit through a couple of hours of RSD videos until you get some solid game in your playbook.

#5. Fuck apps can be filled with strange (and dangerous) people

In a world where even Elmo is raping people, meeting strangers you encounter online has never been more dangerous. Before you meet someone in real life for the first time, make sure that you tell a friend where you’re going, and who you’ll be with. Packing mace on your key change can also be a good call if you’re in a more “ratchet” area of the globe.

For the most part, people are relatively normal (I guess…). But things can turn from normal and fun, to strange and dangerous very quickly. Make sure your friends or someone you are close with know that you’re going out and when approximately you’ll be back. Better safe than sorry.

How to maintain friends with benefits relationship

Hopefully, at this point, you’ve got the ball rolling with some casual dating apps or bar games. You’ve narrowed down your search to a few key leads and managed to get a few hookups under your belt. At this point, there are a few critical steps you need to take to make sure that any relationship emerging from casual sex or a one night stand remains in the “fuck buddy” zone. The last thing you want when looking for local fuck buddies is to wind up a serious relationship or in over your head.

The first rule that you must always follow to ensure a successful fuck buddy relationship is to avoid framing the relationship as “going somewhere” or in any light that reflects that you and your partner will become “boyfriend-girlfriend” (aka serious relationship status).

Keep romance casual – not serious

Surprisingly, it can be the man or the woman that wants things to be more serious, but it’s important to address any inclination that the relationship is serious. The lazy man’s (or woman’s) method for shutting down conversations about getting serious is simply to ignore the topic altogether. If the topic is brought up, simply change the topic haphazardly and call it a day. If you’re not the type to ignore or your partner is being stubborn, persistent, or some sort of unmanagement water buffalo, then you’ll have to address the issue directly. Communicating that you’d like to keep the relationship casual (and inside the safety net of the “fuck buddy” zone) is a delicate art, and if executed improperly could cause the dynamic between you and your partner to explore. Bottom-line: tread carefully, people (in general) are crazy as fuck. When communicating your intentions to your partner make sure that you clearly state that this has nothing to do with them, and that simply, you’re only looking for something casual because you were hurt in the past, or just got out of a relationship, or {insert legitimate excuse in here}. Do not express to your partner that you’re simply looking for a fuck buddy unless you think that’s something they are ready to hear. On the opposite side of the spectrum, if your partner has indicated that they are only interested in casual sex then there’s nothing left to discuss and you can carry on with casual fucking to your heart’s desire.

Don’t get clingy with your new sex partner

No one likes a clingy or desperate person. Surprisingly the basis of all clingy, needy, desperate, or otherwise chudley behavior spurs from deep insecurity. Sure, we all have insecurities, but it’s about healthily managing insecurity. This is especially true in a fuck buddy relationship, as nothing can end one faster than being clingy.

See, your fuck buddy isn’t your best friend, BFF, boyfriend, girlfriend, dog, or someone who remotely cares about the day to day struggles or godliness of your life. Fuck buddies don’t care that your dog died or that your boss smells his fingers when he comes out of the shitter. In fact, like most people, they just don’t give a fuck about you. So make sure you keep this in mind – your fuck buddy is not someone you vent to, complain to, or cling to because of your insecurities.

Don’t over text ( or sext )

Overtexting is the bane of any relationship. This specifically affects men mainly. Nothing comes off worse to a woman than a man who is over texting. If you’re a secure, boss, and successful (sex-worthy) male, then God knows you should have something better to do other than mindless text girls incessantly. Here’s a good rule of thumb guys, keep your text messages 1 to 1, meaning don’t send another text until she texts you back. Yes, it might take a day or two (even a week) but it builds attraction and shows that you’re not a needy or psychopathic douche bag with mommy issues. When it comes to fuck buddies, don’t over text, period.

Fuck buddies, the good, bad, and ugly

Hopefully, using common sense and a few of the tips outlined in this guide, you’re having a successful and ongoing fuck buddy relationship. Here are a few extra tricks you can use to ensure that things go smoothly and don’t turn ugly.

Avoiding meeting the parents

While meeting the parents certainly isn’t representative of the death of a fuck buddy relationship, it can certainly be awkward. Generally, your fuck buddy won’t be interested in meeting your parental units whatsoever. In the off case that situation involving parents (or as I like to call them “rentals”), make sure to introduce your fuck buddy as your friend and make no indication that the relationship is more than that. Nothing is worse than having to explain what a fuck buddy means to your rentals, and unless they’re pretty easy going, you’ll want to avoid this situation altogether.

Always use a condom when hooking up

This pretty much goes unsaid. In case you didn’t realize that it’s 2015, I will fill you win. There’s pretty much nothing scarier than AIDS. Also, there’s lovely antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea going around as well. If you want to protect yourself from the plethora of debilitating, deadly, or otherwise embarrassing STD’s that are prevalent in the modern world than condoms are a must. Of course, they’re also great at making sure an unplanned pregnancy does not arise. The only case where it’s okay to not use a condom with a fuck buddy is if you’ve both been recently tested (and are clean), are using another form of birth control (no, the pull out method doesn’t count), and are fucking each other exclusively (no outside dick).

Avoid unexpected trips to planned parenthood

An unplanned pregnancy can be a real shock, as well as a mess to deal with. If you’re not using condoms with your fuck buddy, then please be using effective birth control. Generally, the best way is for the girl to be on “the pill” or some other form of hormone-based birth control. While abortions are legal in most states (as of now), they can be expensive, stressful, and just downright terrible. Make sure your planning ahead while your fucking like rabbits.

Casual hookup apps like tinder, Grindr (for gay men), and a plethora of other apps (masquerading around as something distinguished while mainly being exact clones and shameless copies) have made it so easy to find casual sex locally that some people are finding local sex in less than 15 minutes. While these apps don’t have the ring of “sharing economy” or “ephemeral content”, they do essentially create a marketplace for sex on demand. Using casual sex apps is probably the easiest to find a local fuck buddy that you’ll be compatible with.


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