Need some advice

[Betty Chapin]

Hi all, I have a problem that I need help with. I have 4 children, 2 who
are in the truth and two aren't. This is the problem, I need to make out
a will as I am 68 years old and I know that time is here to get it done.
I do not want to leave the two in the truth anything as they have shunned
me for 17 years and I never got to see any of the 9 Grandchildren and they
have done nothing for me in all those years yet I love them and don't know
how to do it so have put it off all this time. Their Dad did not leave a will
and they were there to get their share and it made me think of vultures.
I think that since they have no interest in me for anything except my money
I should leave them out. What do you guys think? Thanks.
 
      Betty

Betty Tiffany

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[Lynn French]

Yes I think you should leave them out of the will.  They will probably give away to the Watchtower Society anyway.  My mother's husband just recently passed away and now she's talking about her will and how the house proceeds should go to the WTBTS.  I have been disfellowshipped for 30 years but now that my mother needs support of course it's fine for me to come around.  she doesn't seem to care if I'm destitute in my old age, she's just worried about the WTBTS and making sure they keep going.  Of course she doesn't seem to know anything about all the real estate holdings they have!!!!

Betty Chapin <betty_...@hotmail.com> wrote:

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[Emily]

This would be my advice, also.  Why further the interests of

the WTS?  What have they ever done for you except break

up your family?

 

Emily

[Mathew allan allan]

I supose it all comes down to how you feel in your heart.Deep down. I have
been disfellowshiped for about eight years now but theres still no chance of
me ever ignoring my mother who is still in the truth. There is no exscuse
for this. I admit my childhood was rough and we slept under more bridges
that beds. Truth or no truth, your mums your mum and a loving God would
expect you to look after he no matter what. Well thats my mouthfull. Take
care>>>>>Mat

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[Lynn French]

Yes  but a loving god would allow her to look after me too correct??   She has abandoned me for my whole adult life and expects me to support her in her old age but as far her supporting me in my old age "who cares!".  According to her the WTBTS needs all sorts of money.  Yeah right!

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[Ravyn, Lady Heresy]

Actually, what I would do is write up your experiences with JWs--not
especially bitter, as objectively as you can, and include a short
paragraph or two about what you might like your grandchildren to
remember you by (if they had had the chance), add a photo of you and
maybe a family tree, include a Bible if that is your belief now. Make
a packet for each of your estranged grandchildren and leave
instructions that it be held in trust for them--or with one of your
other children you could trust would get it to them--until they turn
18. I would not bother leaving anything to your estranged children
unless you have copies of family photos or genealogy info you might
want to leave them. I know JWs tore your familly apart--but the family
did not end there and the grandchildren have not had the chance to
make their own decision about you without that influence.
Ravyn

On May 15, 1:32 pm, Betty Chapin <betty_cha...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all, I have a problem that I need help with. I have 4 children, 2 who
> are in the truth and two aren't. This is the problem, I need to make out
> a will as I am 68 years old and I know that time is here to get it done.
> I do not want to leave the two in the truth anything as they have shunned
> me for 17 years and I never got to see any of the 9 Grandchildren and they
> have done nothing for me in all those years yet I love them and don't know
> how to do it so have put it off all this time. Their Dad did not leave a will
> and they were there to get their share and it made me think of vultures.
> I think that since they have no interest in me for anything except my money
> I should leave them out. What do you guys think? Thanks.
>
> Betty
>
> Betty Tiffany

> _________________________________________________________________
> Change is good. See what's different about Windows Live Hotmail.www.windowslive-hotmail.com/learnmore/default.html?locale=en-us&ocid=...

[Mathew allan allan]

Well isnt it interesting to hear both sides of the story? I can understand
bitterness in the circumstances of growing up on your own maybe because the
parent may have been more interested in building treasures elswhere but
where its needed at home. Maybe both parties need to just realise that this
is a kind of argument that could keep families apart for years on end. Life
is getting on now and it would be good to work out differances out and have
some quality life together before it is to late. Maybe both sides feel they
have equal turms to be bitter. I dont think this is a case of the Watch
Tower Bible And Tract Society being to blame. It seems more personal. If
this is the case getting stired up over the fact that it is some one els's
fault or not is beside the point. Maybe a friendship based on the futer not
the past is needed.

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[Gail Nadeau]

Perhaps you could get a savings bond (whatever denomination you think would be appropriate) for each of them in your name, but with a Payable On Death notation in their names.

That way, they wouldn't be totally left out, but they would realize that their actions have consequences.

Gail

[pal...@juno.com]

Betty, I would leave the JW relatives without a dime since they chose
to shun you and make you a non person. But as far as taking care of
ones parents regardless of their actions toward us as far as thier
religious beliefs go I would see to it that they where taken care of.
About the only time I would disown a parent is if they had sexually
abused me. I was born and raised a JW and I missed out on so much as a
JW brat that I have many mixed feelings towards my parents. But I did
take my mother in during her final years. In fact I would not
disassociate myself unti she had died because I knew it would break her
heart. This led to many battles with my ex and the local elders. I was
so tempted to say f--k it all but I did wait until she passed. It was
as if a heavy iron weight lifted when I wrote my letter of
disassociation. Ahh, the freedom. Marco

[Betty Chapin]

Hi Marco, I am sorry to hear of your bad childhood. I had a wonderful
one and then I now think I ruined my kids childhood by becoming a
Witness. Wish I could go back but I can't. I talked to my daughter
who just walked away from the truth to help me to get my will made
out. She said she would but I know she is afraid she will have to take
care of everything when I die. She has a brother not in the truth but he
just does what he has to to get by. He will not want to make any decisions,
so she said she knew it would all be on her. It is terrible to know that someday
not to far off I may be a big burden to her. She wants me to plan my own funeral
but I just can't do that. I think you did a good thing for your Mother by waiting
until your Mom was gone to disassociate yourself. I agree that I would do anything for my parents who were not witnesses and would have anyway no matter what. My Dad died last year at 90 and Mom died in 1989 of cancer. Miss them terribly. I also
think I cheated them because we couldn't celebrate Christmas and Mom didn't
even say anything about it. They both accepted my decision.
 
     Betty

Betty Tiffany

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> From: pal...@juno.com
> Date: Wed, 16 May 2007 17:52:35 +0000
> To: jehovahs...@googlegroups.com
> Subject: Re: need some advice

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