10 Things I Hate About You Soundtracks
Eliecer Brathwaite
It was a few weeks ago now that I became vaguely aware, in that glazed-over internet osmosis way, of a new Ghostbusters theme that had a 100 percent chance of upsetting me. Some stray "trending" story on Facebook, I believe, included the words "Fall Out Boy and Missy Elliott to record Ghostbusters theme song."
Like most trending Facebook stories -- let's see, mine currently include "Cheetos: Frito-Lay Holds Contest To Find Uniquely-Shaped Snack Foods" and "Shaquille O'Neal: Ex-NBA Player Shares Image With His Face Edited Onto Dwayne Wade's Nude Body" -- my eyes glossed over it, unable or unwilling to fully digest the information it contained.
Okay, so some context: The Ghostbusters remake, out July 15 and starring four very funny women in the place of the original's four funny men, has seemingly been plagued by controversy from the get-go. Some of this controversy is extremely stupid: A real contingent of men are super mad that the main characters are no longer men.
Some of it is less stupid: After the first trailer was released, it was difficult to ignore the fact that, out of the four Ghostbuster characters, the three white ones are apparently scientists -- whereas the character played by Leslie Jones, the only black Ghostbuster, is a "sassy" working-class woman with a job at the MTA.
With three weeks left before the movie hits theaters, however, Ghostbusters has since outdone itself. "Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid)" is now officially The Worst Thing About Ghostbusters. It might even be the worst thing about official motion picture soundtracks, which is really saying something, considering. Gone are the simple, cheesy, Huey Lewis-shaped synth notes of our youth, and in their place is something that sounds a bit like robots trying to recreate '80s music in a stark underground torture chamber. Even if the schlocky, over-the-top guitar and distorted vocals are supposed to be a nod to the decade from whence the original tune came, calling this cheap-sounding remake an homage to Ray Parker Jr.'s Academy Award-nominated original is like calling Snapchat's 4/20 blackface filter a touching and well-executed tribute to Bob Marley.
Of course, I expected as much from Fall Out Boy. We all expected as much from Fall Out Boy! The best thing Fall Out Boy has ever done is an 11-year-old chewed-up Laffy Taffy gob of a song that should only ever be consumed alongside this YouTube video.
But Missy? Missy. Missy Elliott, if you're a member of the unlucky quadrant of society who only learned about Missy Elliott when she handily upstaged Katy Perry during the latter's Super Bowl Halftime Show, is more than a legend. She's a queen, and she can do whatever she wants. She's been sick in recent years, so she was out of the spotlight for a bit, but she also gave a presentation with Michelle Obama and Queen Latifah at this year's SXSW, in a great example of shine theory at work. She's still among the most innovative and talented rappers alive, and -- you know what? I'm getting too emotional. MISSY BREAK.
Here's the thing: The studio executives tasked with selling a movie whose driving premise is bankable nostalgia know exactly how I feel about Missy Elliott. They did their research. Combining Missy Elliott and Fall Out Boy with Ghostbusters as a branding strategy is essentially jolting a BuzzFeed listicle of Things Only Kids Born In the '80s Will Understand with a taser until it springs to cinematic life, a lumbering, self-aware marketing Frankenstein that feeds on the dollars of #Millennials and reeks of summertime sadness. So it makes sense that calling this track "forced" is perhaps the understatement of the year. None of the parties involved sound even remotely like they want to be here -- and who can blame them?
All of which is to say, Missy: You're better than this. Making a terrible song with Fall Out Boy for a soundtrack for the remake of a blockbuster is a demonstration of the opposite of shine theory. You now have the scent of Fall Out Boy all over you, and I'll get past that, but it's going to be a slow and difficult process. Which hurts, because Missy: You didn't have to do this. You don't have to do this. Please don't do it again.
[Ed. note: I could not actually make it all the way through "Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid)," and chose instead just to watch more old-school Missy Elliott videos (see below). If the last 45 seconds of said theme song somehow redeem the entire thing, someone please let me know.]
10 Things I Hate About You is a 1999 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Gil Junger in his film directorial debut and starring Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Larisa Oleynik. The screenplay by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith is a modernization of William Shakespeare's comedy The Taming of the Shrew, retold in a late-1990s American high school setting. The film follows new student Cameron James (Gordon-Levitt) who is smitten with Bianca Stratford (Oleynik) and attempts to get bad boy Patrick Verona (Ledger) to date her antisocial sister Kat (Stiles) in order to get around her father's strict rules on dating. Named after a poem Kat writes about her romance with Patrick, the film was mostly shot in the Seattle metropolitan area, with many scenes filmed at Stadium High School in Tacoma, Washington.
Released on March 31, 1999, 10 Things I Hate About You grossed over $60 million and received generally positive reviews from critics. It provided breakthrough roles for Stiles, Ledger, and Gordon-Levitt, all of whom were nominated for various teen-oriented awards. Ten years later, it was adapted into a television reboot, which ran for 20 episodes and featured Larry Miller reprising his role as Walter Stratford.
Cameron James, a new student at Padua High School in the Seattle area, immediately becomes smitten with beautiful and popular sophomore Bianca Stratford. Geeky Michael Eckman warns him that she is vapid and conceited, and that her overprotective single father Walter, an obstetrician worried about teenage pregnancy, does not allow her or her shrewish older sister Kat, a senior, to date. Kat is accepted to Sarah Lawrence College in New York, but Walter wants her to stay close to home and attend his alma mater, the University of Washington. Bianca wishes to date affluent senior Joey Donner, but Walter will not allow his daughters to date until they graduate. Frustrated by Bianca's insistence and Kat's rebelliousness, Walter relents and declares that Bianca may date only when Kat does, knowing that Kat's antisocial attitude will greatly complicate it.
When Cameron asks Bianca out, she informs him of her father's new rule and suggests he find someone willing to date Kat so that she can freely date Joey. He selects Australian "bad boy" Patrick Verona, who initially frightens him with his attitude. Michael assists by convincing Joey to pay Patrick to take Kat out, believing that it will allow Joey to date Bianca. Patrick agrees to the deal, but Kat initially rebuffs his first few advances. After Michael and Cameron assist him by probing Bianca for information on Kat's preferences, Patrick begins to win Kat's interest. She goes to a party with him, which enables Bianca to tag along, greatly upsetting Walter.
At the party, Kat becomes upset upon seeing Bianca with Joey, and responds by getting intoxicated. Patrick attends to her, and she starts to open up to him, expressing her interest in forming a band. When Kat attempts to kiss him, Patrick pulls away, causing her to depart, infuriated. Meanwhile, Bianca upsets Cameron by ignoring him for Joey, but soon realizes that Joey is indeed shallow and self-absorbed. When she asks Cameron to drive her home, he admits his feelings for her are indeed genuine and her treatment of him has frustrated him, and she reconciliatorily kisses him in response.
Joey offers to pay Patrick to take Kat to the prom so he can take Bianca. He initially refuses, but relents when Joey offers him more money. Although Kat is still angry with Patrick, he eventually wins her over by serenading her, accompanied by the Padua High School marching band, with a performance of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" by Frankie Valli, and she returns the favor by assisting him in sneaking out of detention. Their subsequent date turns romantic, but Kat becomes suspicious when Patrick insists that she accompany him to the prom, which she adamantly opposes.
Irritated at not being asked to the prom by Cameron, Bianca accepts Joey's invitation, but Walter declines to allow it unless Kat accompanies her. Kat confesses to Bianca that she dated Joey when they were freshmen and, succumbing to peer pressure, had sexual intercourse with him, later regretting it. After Joey dumped her, she vowed against doing anything out of peer pressure. Bianca insists that she can decide her own life, so Kat agrees to attend the prom with Patrick, and Bianca decides to go with Cameron instead of Joey. At the prom, Bianca learns that Joey planned to have sexual intercourse with her that night. Angry that Bianca has spurned him for Cameron, Joey reveals his arrangement with Patrick, which causes Kat to leave, heartbroken. Joey then shoves Michael and punches Cameron, but Bianca then assaults him for having hurt her, Kat, and Cameron. Bianca and Cameron share another kiss.
The following day, Bianca reconciles with Kat and begins dating Cameron. Comfortable that Kat can handle herself, Walter permits her to attend Sarah Lawrence College. For an assignment in which the students were tasked to write their own versions of William Shakespeare's Sonnet 141, Kat reads aloud a poem she composed, entitled "10 Things I Hate About You", revealing that she still loves and cares for Patrick. He surprises her with a Fender Stratocaster that he bought with the money Joey paid him, and confesses that he has fallen for her. Kat forgives him, and they reconcile with a kiss.
The script was finalized in November 1997.[3] Many of the scenes were filmed on location at Stadium High School and at a house in the North End of Tacoma, Washington. The prom sequence was shot over three days in Seattle.[4] Costume designer Kim Tillman designed original dresses for Oleynik and Stiles, as well as the period outfits for Pratt and Krumholtz. Union's snakeskin prom dress is a Betsey Johnson design. Ledger's and Gordon-Levitt's vintage tuxes came from Isadora's in Seattle.[4] For the scene where Patrick dances on the high school bleachers, Ledger took inspirations from Showgirls and Fred Astaire.[5] Filming took place from June 8 to August 6, 1998.
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