My relationship with my wife, Urmila Devi Dasi

[Pratyatosa Dasa (ACBSP)]

Dear Ameyatma Prabhu, Hare Krishna! Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Thank you very much for your heartfelt appreciation of my wife's email to me. If she has read it, I'm sure that she feels very much enlivened and encouraged by your ambrosial words. A real devotee can see that a spirit soul in a woman's body is just as dear to Krishna and to Srila Prabhupada as a spirit soul in a man's body. Lord Sri Krishna and Srila Prabhupada do not discriminate based upon such temporary things as the sex of the material body that we happen to be "driving around in" during our current extremely temporary life in this material world.

However, I might have given you the wrong impression. My wife and I do not normally communicate like this. It was an emergency situation. We are trying to be renounced vanaprasthas, so it's not unusual for us to not communicate for several months at a time. We only communicate when it's been mutually agreed upon beforehand or in the case of a family emergency, such as Madhusudani Radha dd (the owner of Chakra.org) trying to blackmail me into not preaching against divorce by her threatening to reveal "family secrets."

By the way, our next mutually agreed upon communication is not until July of 2014, after my 70th birthday!

Your servant, Pratyatosa Dasa (http://causelessmercy.com/ http://rtvik.com/ http://pratyatosa.com/ http://feedacow.com/ http://llbest.com/)

On Sun, Mar 14, 2010 at 4:14 PM, ameyatma das [ACBSP] <amey...@gmail.com> wrote:

This is for Mataji Urmila dd

Please accept my humble obeisances.  All glories to His Divine Grace, AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad.

Mataji,  I hope you are able to forgive your husband for his sending your private letter to him to others, against your wishes.   It was bold of him to do so.    But, mataji,  your letter is Golden,   as you say, you revealed your heart to him...    And, what it revealed was a Heart of Pure Gold, surrounded by the gems of your children.   It was very bold of Pratyatosh to have done such a thing even after you asked him not to,    but, i thank him for doing so.   What you wrote is not just for his benefit,   but, it reveals to us a mataji who is worthy of our honor and respect.  Dandabat's to your feet, mataji. 

Aspiring to become your most humble and worthy servant,   ameyatma das,   servant of Sri Krishna-Ameyatma 

On 3/14/2010 9:36 AM, Pratyatosa Dasa (ACBSP) wrote:

I asked her permission before I posted it. She replied:

"I would greatly prefer not. It was a personal letter where I revealed my heart. I had not even included the children as receivers."

... so I hope that she's not too upset with me for posting it against her wishes.

If someone quotes the letter out of context or distorts it in some way, then that's their bad karma, not mine, right? My humble request is that the letter be quoted in it's entirety or not at all.

Here is part of my reply (the first paragraph is between me, my wife and our 3 children):

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Pratyatosa Dasa (ACBSP) <praty...@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 13, 2010 at 8:23 PM
Subject: What a beautiful letter!
To: Urmila/Edith Best
Cc: Michael Best, Campaka, Keshava Best

My dear wife, What a beautiful letter!
.
.
.
You are following the glorious example of Mother Sita Devi, in saying that you are not a victim. Even my grandma Nordby, after she had surgery at 102, followed this glorious example by saying, "I'm in so much pain. God is punishing me because I'm such a sinful person" (paraphrased). She was an extremely pious lady, probably the most pious karmi I ever met. She took prasadam more than once at the Govinda's near her house in San Diego. I think that she's a devotee. Who else, but a wonderful devotee, would have some of the same divine consciousness as Mother Sita Devi?

The fact that you are a Scorpio rising makes it all the more wonderful that you have attained this divine consciousness. You are a very advanced devotee and I'm sure that Srila Prabhupada is very proud to have you as a disciple. I know that I am very proud to have you as a wife.

Again, please forgive me for my many offenses against you, and please be assured that I am still trying to protect you as best I can.

I love you very, very much.

Love, your husband

PS: Is it OK if I post your letter on the forum?

On Sat, Mar 13, 2010 at 6:48 AM, Urmila/Edith Best <urmilad...@gmail.com> wrote:

 I love you and respect you and wish you all the best in everything. I hope you can forgive me for any and all ways in which I was an instrument for your pain. I take full and complete responsibility for my actions, and do not blame anyone or anything else for anything I have done or said. I am never a victim because everything that happens to me is a reaction for something, if not now, then in the past. I am choosing my life and my actions.

I hear that it was distressing when no authority in ISKCON dealt with you on this issue. Of course I talked to various TP's and GBC's over the years, and I was similarly upset that no one helped us with this issue. Every community should have elders who guide the members and stop problems at the beginning when they are small. We depend on our authorities for advice and guidance. Surely when this topic comes up, it's aggrevating, frustrating, and confusing. One can feel very angry and helpless--how can one explain to someone all the details of one's life and decisions? It's scary having people publicly criticize you as if you are some sort of monster when really you are a soft-hearted person who got some ill-advice and made some mistakes. I hope you get the understanding, consideration, respect, and clear communication we all need. We may not always get that from other people, but we always get it from Krishna.

With much love, your wife