Confess!
Leeksoup
time I've heard any of it. I pretty much just did what I would've
done, except for the not leaving part. Also, the parents didn't call.
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Mon Feb 19 00 27 45 2007
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace... this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --
TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!
GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --
TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE
God... Trip!
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Espen!!
TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
Hi!
TRIP
Yeah, hi!
TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.
TRIP
Well come on in!
ESPEN
ok
TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!
TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
ESPEN
nice place
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(ESPEN picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "Who Knows")
(ESPEN puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
Espen,
ESPEN
hi grace
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)
GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)
GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.
GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home! -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
you too
GRACE
Uh...
TRIP
Espen, let me get you a drink.
TRIP
Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking
glasses.
(Trip closes the front door.)
TRIP
How about a martini?
TRIP
I just got a hold of this rare imported Icelandic vermouth I want you
to try!
ESPEN
sounds great
TRIP
Great! Martini it is.
GRACE
No no,
GRACE
Espen, maybe you'd like just a simple glass of white wine?
TRIP
but... uhh...
ESPEN
no i like martinis
TRIP
Excellent! It won't take me more than a minute!
TRIP
(quiet humming)
GRACE
(little sigh) You know Trip, he gets such pleasure from making fancy
drinks for everybody.
TRIP
Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight? Surprise me.
GRACE
Um, I'd like a simple glass of Chardonnay, thank you.
TRIP
Ah, Chardonnay, certainly.
TRIP
Heh heh, Espen, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?
GRACE
Yes, it does. -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
yeah
TRIP
Yeah, uh, we -- we've -- uh, we've missed you.
TRIP
Here you are Grace, your drink is ready.
ESPEN
college
GRACE
Thank you.
TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!
TRIP
Whoa I just realized something!
GRACE
What...
TRIP
We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night!
GRACE
What do you mean?
TRIP
Espen, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that
you introduced us.
TRIP
Senior year of college! -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
oh yeah
TRIP
Ha ha! So we really want to thank you for years and years of...
GRACE
Pain.
TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony. -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
pain?
TRIP
Uh, n - n - no, heh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight.
GRACE
Huh, you two really are getting along well tonight, heh...
(ESPEN comforts grace.)
GRACE
Oh! ha ha ha, you're hugging me!
TRIP
Oh, that's nice of you. Grace, aren't you glad we invited him over?
GRACE
(clears throat)
TRIP
Here's your drink!
GRACE
Anyway...
(ESPEN picks up a player's drink.)
GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --
ESPEN
thanks
TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.
TRIP
We're not disagreeing.
GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me
to buy new furniture, and redecorate,
(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...
TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see
our latest decoration scheme!
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
ESPEN
it's nice
GRACE
But, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Ah, yeah, Espen, I knew you'd like it.
TRIP
See Grace you don't realize how good this all looks -- and, and how
good you look!
GRACE
(annoyed sigh)
GRACE
So, about my decorating...
GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for stylish objects,
like this armoire,
GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want to design it into my apartment...
TRIP
This is a really exclusive armoire, very few people own this armoire.
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
but... dammit, I don't know what I was thinking, this is a
monstrosity!
TRIP
A monstrosity... what?
ESPEN
its ugly
GRACE
Ah, what a nice surprise, an honest answer!
TRIP
Espen, Wait! Grace, I don't know where you're getting this --
GRACE
You know, Trip, do you realize that if you hadn't convinced me to go
into advertising,
GRACE
I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!
TRIP
(short petulant sigh)
TRIP
Oh, yeah, we've seen how your artist friends live, as if you could
survive that kind of lifestyle! Give me a break!
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
Anyhow, Espen, thank you for your honest opinion.
GRACE
Okay, well, I was worried there for a bit you were on Trip's side
tonight, ha ha.
TRIP
Espen, I -- I want you to look at this -- (interrupted)
ESPEN
im not taking sides
GRACE
Oh no, no, go look at Trip's Italy photo...
GRACE
Espen, come over here and sit on the couch with me.
GRACE
Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our
friend very uncomfortable!
TRIP
Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon!
GRACE
What? Espen, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a
weekend getaway, that's all.
TRIP
Jesus, I was trying to find a way for us to spend some time together!
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
All those business trips of yours to Europe must have done something
to you.
TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!
TRIP
Goddamn italy...
ESPEN
italy
TRIP
I try to reach out -- (interrupted)
TRIP
What? What -- what are you saying to me? What?
GRACE
(impatient sigh) Espen, I...
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Oh, yeah, you...
TRIP
I know what you'll say...
TRIP
You're so damn positive tonight, it's annoying as hell!
ESPEN
maria
TRIP
No don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more
ugly!
GRACE
As if you could survive...
GRACE
You keep trying to make our lives so shallow and fake! I don't want
to live a fake life, Trip!
TRIP
Oh, god...!
TRIP
Your... goddamn decorating...
TRIP
You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever
satisfied with anything.
GRACE
Oh, my God...!
ESPEN
trip stop cheating
TRIP
Alright, you know what, Espen,
TRIP
I'm going to ask you something.
GRACE
Trip --
TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
TRIP
Espen, yes or no...
TRIP
If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is
taken -- years later, can you get blamed for that?
ESPEN
yes
TRIP
What...?!
TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...
TRIP
Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me
off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit!
GRACE
Oh, my God...!
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!
GRACE
I can't stand you!
GRACE
Goddammit!
ESPEN
grace, trip is cheating
GRACE
Wait, what, are you trying to explain this to me?
ESPEN
yes
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?
GRACE
I'm not talking to you!
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
Espen, I -- I'm sorry... this is a disaster...
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
(ESPEN sips his player's drink.)
(ESPEN puts down a player's drink.)
(ESPEN picks up a Grace's drink.)
(ESPEN sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE
uhh...
(ESPEN sips his Grace's drink.)
(ESPEN sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE
Look, you probably just want to leave...
(ESPEN sips his Grace's drink.)
(ESPEN puts down a Grace's drink.)
(ESPEN comforts grace.)
GRACE
Espen, in -- in what you said before, about marriage... I think we've
already learned something about Trip.
TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even
though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is...
you're not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh...!
TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.
GRACE
Espen, uhh...
ESPEN
she painted this painting
GRACE
Uhh, this painting, well... mmm... see, all I really wanted was
something personal and, uh... beautiful and special...
TRIP
Grace...
GRACE
But I just... mmm... no, I -- I just get so depressed and angry when I
look at it!
TRIP
Jesus...!
ESPEN
why
GRACE
Why?
TRIP
Ah, good, you're trying understand this craziness -- that might help
her!
GRACE
Uhh, it just really bothers me, I can't... mmm... uhh...
TRIP
There's nothing wrong with the stupid painting!
GRACE
No let's -- let's focus on us, our relationship.
GRACE
I think... I think... Trip and I are drifting... I'm afraid we're
becoming... disconnected...
TRIP
Grace! What are you saying?
TRIP
Heh, hey... heh heh heh, hey, no no no, don't -- don't try to... don't
-- don't to try accuse me of -- of -- of anything with Maria...
GRACE
It's like I don't know who you are anymore.
ESPEN
Maria
GRACE
Oh God...
TRIP
No -- no, no, Grace, don't, don't even about think that -- look, look
--
TRIP
look, our -- our 'friend' has just gone too far this time, that's all
that's happening here...!
TRIP
No no, there's nothing to... uhh...
GRACE
No, of course, Trip, there's nothing, there's nothing...
GRACE
Uhh...
ESPEN
communicate, trip
GRACE
I can't... this is not... Espen, this... oh god...
GRACE
Uhh...
ESPEN
Trip, communicate
GRACE
Ah!
TRIP
Espen, you're saying I don't... communicate?
TRIP
No, wait a minute, I reach out to Grace, I really do...! --
(interrupted)
ESPEN
yes
TRIP
Yes?
GRACE
Ah, you disagree, see, that might actually help him...
GRACE
See, Trip, you claim you're 'reaching out', but really, you're...
you're holding things back...
TRIP
What...? I, I -- I'm hold -- I'm holding...?
TRIP
Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can
just --
GRACE
Espen, I can't stand the pretending anymore... I can't take it!
ESPEN
so leave
TRIP
No, Grace, we can... I mean, come on, don't make it out to be so
bad...
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship.
TRIP
You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me...
TRIP
Espen, She's all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good
in front of the guests!
ESPEN
why
GRACE
Why?
TRIP
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps us... See, Espen, her acting
loving is the only reason I like our stupid parties.
TRIP
Let's keep talking about us both, not just one of us.
TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do
something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE
Trip...
TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?
GRACE
Espen, you know, we... uhh...
GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he
can to avoid seeing them.
TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots.
GRACE
No, it's true...
ESPEN
why
GRACE
Why?
GRACE
Ah, that helps him.
TRIP
What!? That's ridiculous. Why would I -- why would I be afraid of
their stupid meatloafs and their tacky house and their crappy wine...?
TRIP
Okay, I've had enough of this bullshit!!
TRIP
Espen, I know what you're hinting at...
TRIP
about us...
TRIP
about our lifestyle...
TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?
ESPEN
yes
TRIP
Espen, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Grace?
GRACE
Yes...!
TRIP
See, Espen, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying
tonight.
TRIP
You've really been pushing me tonight.
TRIP
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not.
GRACE
Trip!
TRIP
Espen, come on -- yes or no...
TRIP
Do you really think that...
TRIP
criticizing Grace...
TRIP
praising Grace...
TRIP
telling me I'm not communicative...
TRIP
and worst of all,
TRIP
suggesting that I'm cheating on Grace...
TRIP
and what you said about giving advice to your wife...
TRIP
that all that is supposed to help us realize something about us?
TRIP
Is all of that arguing intended to mean something, or...
ESPEN
yes
TRIP
Alright.
TRIP
Grace...
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
See... I'm... ashamed of my parents.
GRACE
What!? Your parents are great.
GRACE
I love seeing them...
TRIP
I know, I know. But compared to yours... they're so ... ignorant.
GRACE
But they're real. I hate how my parents are pretending to be something
--
TRIP
I've tried hard to be like your family --
GRACE
Trip... really? ... I don't --
TRIP
But I feel like a phony. I feel like I can never get rid of my past.
TRIP
It's kind of like I don't know who I am anymore.
TRIP
uhh...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
TRIP
Espen, I --
GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
I painted this.
TRIP
Bullshit.
GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, fuck you.
TRIP
You've been secretly painting? When --
GRACE
Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint.
GRACE
So don't EVER give me any more of your 'you could never be an artist'
crap!!
TRIP
Jesus --
GRACE
uhh...
TRIP
uhh...
ESPEN
it's, uh, a good painting
TRIP
Jesus...!
TRIP
Okay, Espen, Grace, I have one more thing to say...
GRACE
Again?!
TRIP
Grace...
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
I've been having an affair.
GRACE
Oh my God.
TRIP
It's over now, though.
GRACE
But how could you --
TRIP
(big sigh) with the client, in, uh, Barcelona.
GRACE
Maria.
TRIP
I was lonely, Grace.
TRIP
But, but, I -- I regret it, I really, really regret it.
TRIP
uhh...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
GRACE
This changes everything...
TRIP
Yeah.
ESPEN
guys, talk
GRACE
You finally admitted it -- you felt very alone... and you had an
affair...
TRIP
You... you really have to be an artist...
TRIP
You think I'm a phony for despising my upbringing...
GRACE
But at least you had a real upbringing, it's me who had a fake one...
TRIP
Espen, I --
GRACE
Espen, we...
TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...
GRACE
Yeah.
TRIP
And no, Espen, enough of that already...
TRIP
Espen, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.
(ESPEN comforts trip.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
And no, Espen, please, it's okay...
ESPEN
Bye.
(ESPEN picks up the brass bull.)
GRACE
Bye. Thanks.
(Trip closes the front door.)