Fwd: FW: New Wal-Mart Shopper Pics

2 views
Skip to first unread message

Marco Sbezzo

unread,
Jul 20, 2010, 9:46:11 PM7/20/10
to Ryan Smith, The Crew, Craig Hauss

And I can't have a nuclear bomb! Ridiculous!!!

 

 

  Some old, most new, all unbelievable!

 

 

Have mercy on them for they know not what they do! 

776
You have no idea how exhausting it can be putting on tight purple sweat pants!! 

Pensacola, Florida

 

 

cid:image002.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

I call a new rule at Wal-mart: If the hole in your jeans is big enough for me to slip my hand inside and sneak a little squeeze, then by golly you best be on guard!  The squeezer, however, retains the right to either squeeze or not to squeeze!  

Sarasota, Florida

 

 

cid:image003.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Unfortunately, the only strap working on this entire outfit is the one holding that hideous hair in place.  Is that former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker's wife or is that Paul Volcker? 

Los Angeles, California

 

 

cid:image007.jpg@01CA433B.938DB6B0

Don't laugh!  Its okay, because Bambi's granddaughter borrowed her skirt.  Plus, today is combination Casual Friday and Crazy Hair Day, all rolled in to one.

College Station, Texas

 

 

cid:image005.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Apparently, Lester Flem doesn't know whether he's homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual.  However, if you look up the word 'Transgender' in the dictionary...... BINGO!!!!  There you will see a picture of dear old flaming Lester in his boots.

Laguna Niguel, California

 

 

cid:image006.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Where exactly does one buy a short pink outfit like this to beef shop in?

Birmingham, Alabama

 

 

cid:image007.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical Popeye enthusiast OR ….... well, fill in anything.

It really doesn't matter, because nothing we say will make any sense.  Who lets these people

out of the house un-championed?

Destin, Florida 

 

 

cid:image008.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Those purple shorts are HOT!!!  I saw those same shorts one time on an elephant in a circus in Belarus.  The house shoes make the outfit!

Columbus, Ohio

 

 

cid:image009.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Whatever happened to No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?  Is that a turban on his head or a serving of Jiffy-Pop?  Is the girl in the background taking a picture or teaching the guy in the black wife beater T-shirt to play, "Here is the church and here is the steeple.  Open it up and here are the people!"  Is the chick in the green bikini top putting on makeup?  Honey, you should have saved your money and purchased either a T-shirt or a case of Slim Fast.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

 

 

cid:image010.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Agerton? ...........  Is that you?  What do you expect me to say?  That's exactly what he looks like from the rear.  True, I've never seen Agerton in heels.  Still, if I told you there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you believed me?  Honestly, is that a man or a woman or is Lester Flem back in the store?

Mobile, Alabama

 

 

cid:image011.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0
Britney Spears let herself go again.

Slidell, Louisiana

 

 

 

cid:image012.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Dear Mrs. Razzlebone-Karbofski, it was cute to dress your boys Festus and Cletus alike when they were two years old, but at 45?  Well, not so much!  ..... Suddenly, Festus says, "Hey, Cletus, I been thankin.  If my truck could travel faster than the speed of light, would my headlights work?"

Tifton, Georgia

 

 

 

cid:image013.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

I am so embarrassed.  Seriously, I have no idea how this photo of my son's 5th Grade history teacher and part-time Gun Care Instructor, Miss. Cinnamon Goodpicker, got mixed in with this roll of film.  

Katy, Texas

 

 

cid:image014.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Packing this rear in camouflage shorts is like trying to hide an elephant behind a squirrel.

Seattle, Washington

 

 

 

cid:image015.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

For some reason, I have to assume that no matter where Zebulon goes, “Dueling Banjos” suddenly starts playing from out of nowhere.

Atmore, Alabama

 

 

cid:image016.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0  

And men claim they can't meet classy women in stores?  Go figure!

Louisville, Kentucky

 

 

cid:image017.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Is that a THONG Ollie Hopnoddle is wearing??  I can't look again or I'll go blind.

Mountain Brook, Alabama

 

 

770
For my own sanity, I have to assume that Gussie Klothgrunt is shoplifting two pork roasts in her shirt.  Simply because there is no possible way that can be anything other that two pork roasts in her shirt.  Can't be!

Forestdale, Alabama 

 

 

cid:image019.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0
No way, Laquanda, absolutely not!  That outfit does not at all make you look like a Hooker.

Midlothian, Virginia

 

 

cid:image020.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Aw yes, don't you just love the holiday season in Easley!!  I hope Abe is buying some new shirts.

Is it really necessary to say ANYTHING ELSE???

Easley, South Carolina                                                          

 

cid:image021.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

On first glance, did it appear to anyone else that Gisella's dog is coming out her butt?

Orem, Utah

 

 

316
It's like a big pink garbage bag filled with creamed corn and door knobs.

Houston, Texas

  

 

cid:image023.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Mesmerized here at the Wal-mart Hiring Center, Pinetop thinks this is his lucky day because his mechanic called an hour ago and said, "I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder."  Besides, all his redneck buddies told him he was a lock to get this job at Wal-mart, provided he can remember not to smoke weed or drink beer during the job interview.

Austin, Texas

 

 

cid:image024.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

This is perfectly understandable.  Elena Kagan was just on her way to the Country Club when she remembered she need some coffee and a couple of yoga videos.  Besides, she thought to herself, I'll just throw on these gray shorts and I'll be smokin’.

Nashville, Tennessee 

 

 

cid:image025.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Don't worry, I've already forwarded this picture to Burberry Worldwide in London.  I thought it would be beneficial for them to be reminded of why they got into the fashion and design industry in the first place.  I'm sure Burberry will be ecstatic over seeing their vision spring to life.  Exciting, too, is how Lulu's slippers simply make those shorts POP!!

 

Did anyone notice her boyfriend is wearing an Auburn T-shirt?  Don't look at me!  I didn't take the picture or tell Tater to go to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night with his flashy runway model girlfriend. 

Opelika, Alabama

 

BURBERRY'S NEW MARKETING SLOGAN: "WE THINK YOU'LL NOTICE, WE'RE NOT WAL-MART"

 

 

 

cid:image026.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Is that a baby dangling from Raylene's waist like a fanny pack???  I don't believe I've ever seen anything like that before.  The only thing wrong with the gene pool around the Ozarks is there's no lifeguard.  

Fort Smith, Arkansas

 

 

750
I love talking with Freidagurtz Finkelstein, because she always seems so surprised and interested in what I have to say.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

 

 

cid:image028.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

Holy Golden Illusions of Grandeur,  I gotta get me that outfit!!!!

Alpharetta, Georgia

  

 

cid:image029.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Toss in some cat food and Cooter is the loneliest guy in town!

Fort Payne, Alabama

 

 

cid:image030.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0
Someone else can try to figure out what she's doing, because I have to go wash my eyes out with bleach.

Oxford, Mississippi 

 

 

781
Either that lady has a tail or Barney is stuck where the sun doesn't shine.

Loves Park, Illinois

 

 

cid:image032.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

I'm not sure what kinky Bathsheba Squeal plans to do with that pie filling, but there is just something about her that tells me she doesn't bake, she doesn't watch Rachael Ray and she has no intention of using that pie filling in the kitchen.

La Verne, California

 

 

cid:image033.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0
I have infinite admiration for the sheer strength of good quality denim.  Moreover, I will be eternally thankful if Honeysuckle's jeans wait until she reaches the truck to explode.  Seriously, they should consider using denim on the next NASA space shuttle.

Spring, Texas 

 

 

cid:image034.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0
For those times when you need fried okra and chicken strips so bad, that you just can't wait for the bleach to set. 

Montgomery, Alabama

 

 

cid:image035.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0 

Is it even legal to sell that shade of pink?  I love the way Ms. Incense Berkowitz color coordinated her reusable shopping bag to match her shoes, purse, leggings, shirt, jacket, earrings and necklace.  If a bra had been necessary, do you think for one second it would have been any color other than SHRIEKING PINK??

Glendale, California

 

 

cid:image036.jpg@01CB0C9E.15E730B0

I warned Ronnie not to wear that shirt out of the house.  Please, someone go provoke him.  I want to see him whack somebody upside the head with a two 2-liter bottle of Squirt!

Brewton, Alabama



 

 

 

 

 

 


The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with Hotmail. Get busy.

 




image001.jpg
image010.jpg
image011.jpg
image012.jpg
image013.jpg
image014.jpg
image015.jpg
image016.jpg
image017.jpg
image018.jpg
image019.jpg
image002.jpg
image020.jpg
image021.jpg
image022.jpg
image023.jpg
image024.jpg
image025.jpg
image026.jpg
image027.jpg
image028.jpg
image029.jpg
image003.jpg
image030.jpg
image031.jpg
image032.jpg
image033.jpg
image034.jpg
image035.jpg
image036.jpg
image004.jpg
image005.jpg
image006.jpg
image007.jpg
image008.jpg
image009.jpg
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages