Q/Ans - The Boy She Loved & All Other Animals

[Zeeshan Ali Sajwani]

The Boy She Loved & All Other Wild Animals

Answered by: Zeeshan Sajwani

 

 

Idea: It is all about an email I received last night from gurl named "Fiza, A Fake Name " talking about her personal problems with loads of questions disturbing her. She was just recently left by her boyfriend for many good reasons she may not be known to all of them. I read the whole story and thought to reply-all with her questions because I personally feel that this is the common problem in every third couple of this generation. Read it complete in one episode or just delete it, it may open thinking paths.

 

 

About The Subject: I gave the subject of "The Boy She Love & All Other Wild Animals" to this writing because I felt that her ex-boyfriend and memories with him she had, eats her crazily and she may not be able to survive.

 

 

Contact Info: Read the circumstances of Fiza and my opinions for her. You may always write me by replying this email or add me on your MSN buddies zeeshan...@hotmail.com or you may catch me on orkut.com by searching Zeeshan Sajwani.

 

 

Question Asked by Fiza: Hello Zeeshan, I have been reading your creations and found them very ready to lend a hand and motivational in my existence. I am moving from beginning to end a very complicated set of conditions these days and wanted to share those with you to be of assistance to me to feel good.

 

It is a very comprehensive story of my life but I will share a concise with you. I live in Lahore and doing my Engineering degree. The memory begins from his name, Rohit (a fake name), He proposed me some three years back, I accepted his proposal and we established our relation. We started with dreaming our future together like all other young couples do. All from fantasies to Family planning and selecting names of a baby boy or the same for a baby gurl was always part of our discussions. We always had a teasing fight on having Two Vs. Three kids. He wanted three but I was convinced on two only.

 

Moved with the time, our preliminary feelings for each other moved from just a cause to a deeper relation. An everyday meeting and date-out became our regular practice. He made me feel that he cannot stay comfortable for some two to three days without seeing or meeting me. All his family problems and achievements made him share with me the first. At some point of time, I understood and realized very well that he is crazy about me and cant' live without me. I even experienced him crying on many occasions for me and every other day when I refused attending his calls for even a night. I observed him not in a well-dressed way when I am angry to him or not talking well.

 

A little conflict of interest and acts were always there in our relations which are no new from all other couples. Our initial days were marvelous but later after some six months; we came up with more and more conflicts but kept on resolving those in more or less times.

 

A break came right after two years of our relations, when I left him once and all due to some reasons I cannot share. He went crazy and wanted me back in his life. Many things happened and we had a compromise once again.

 

Then we moved on, but one day he left me for some reasons that again I cannot share and refused to hear anything from me. I accepted his decision and went all quite. After some couple of months he realized that he cannot live without me and may not survive, then he came all back to me and wanted me to be with him forever.

 

At that point of time, I refused him for patch up because I had an intention of having this relation as a 3D game being played in the pladium zone, but I was unable to stiff on my decision since I cannot see him crying everyday. We went again into our relationship. This time I made my mind that since Rohit needs to leave for Dubai , I should involve with him only upto some extends as a compromise and I started avoiding talks on future programs but he convinced me once again and made me feel love for him and brought me craze for him another time.

 

I observed that despite of all his other personal problems, he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. He was all depressed due to his office issues and having feelings of no-one sheltering him, I offered him to get married with me. I thought this way he may feel secure and protected.

 

Zeeshan, this time again differences occurred. He started ignoring me and initiated feeding in my mind that he wants to leave for Dubai since he needed a break in his life. Saying, he may come back after some two to three years to get married with me; but Zeeshan, you tell me how I could accept this thing from a person who loved me crazily and suddenly said he needs a break and will come back.

 

I am all double minded, please advice what should I do? I am unable to understand that a boy who was crazy about me and that is what I even felt. I tried to convince him but he mentioned frankly that I am sorry but I want to go Dubai and that's it.

 

Zeeshan, can you please tell me how I should react on this where I feel that he spoiled three years of my life we had together. I am unable to digest that if he had to go Dubai for a life he desired or for God knows reason, why did he played with three years of my life and feelings of myself and the family of mine too.

 

Since the beginning of our relations, I knew that he wanted to go to Middle East, but later he mentioned that he will not go since he would marry me in some three years right in the end of 2007, but now when the time is just very near, he again mentioned very clearly that I am sorry but I will go abroad by next year so I cannot marry you.

 

I always thought that my love for him may hold him within my arms to stay in love, peace and harmony forever with me but he has other plans. I am unable to sort that has he ever loved me or those three years were for only some other reasons. I feel that I might have a mistake in finding the right person for my life.

 

 

Answer by Zeeshan Sajwani: Hello Fizza, after reading your circumstances, I have a very brief reply that you may not understand at this point of time because of the tough layers over your mind, but later on you will realize all my said things may help you.

 

The first thing I should correct you that you never made a mistake in selecting a right partner for your life. Your selection was good because you loved him in a way you wanted, I could say that he may not selected you as the right person for his life because he had other dreams may be on which I cannot give any statements.

 

The other thing, the biggest mistake was second patch up, where you had a compromise and then again reverted in to a serious relationship with him. He may have wanted you to be with him as far as he is within Lahore.

 

I don't know he loved you ever or not, but I feel that people who love on a serious note, they never look for spaces around. You should take it as a good or bad dream that took some precious three years of your life and went away.

 

I know it is not so easy to forget all other moments you had with him, but do you have any other way? The boy you loved must be in some peace and having wild sleeps throughout the nights, my concern is when the one you loved is into deep sleeps than why should you only suffer where he has no concerns.

 

See, if it was love he must be suffering the same way you are; but if it is not the love, which is I feel so far from what all you said, he must be taking care of his other options. I love, there are no other options.

 

Fizza, accept the reality that someone came in your life and gave you some precious years and went away. Now it is upto you that you take him as an angle who gave you happy moments or an evil who left you with unfulfilled dreams.

 

All the best and good luck for your career. Start everything from the beginning for your life and look for other options because he may never have loved you.

 

Goodluck and Take Care

 

 

 

Zeeshan Sajwani

MSN: zeeshan...@hotmail.com

Orkut: Zeeshan Sajwani