Fwd: Unbeatable Resume of Balakrishna........must and should!!!!

[Harsha navarch]

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From: MADHU @IITM <jmad...@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Sep 20, 2010 at 8:28 PM
Subject: Fwd: Unbeatable Resume of Balakrishna........must and should!!!!
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..            RESUME Balakrishna Nandamuri Email: gm...@balakrishna.com Phone: +910000000000   Career Object  : To make the audience run away from theaters. Preofessio'nil' Experience : ·           30 years in Telugu Industry.   ·           Junior Artist - 1974 (with 1 hit, 9 flops)   ·           Side role- 1979(14 flops)   ·           Lead role- 1986- till date( 4 hits, 44 flops) Acting Skills: ·           Stop Moving Trains, Killing People with Cocks(Palnati brahmanaidu),   ·           Climbing Mt. Everest with out any Help (Vijayendra varma),   ·           Shooting a bullet from mouth (Allari pidugu),   ·           Playing with current (Okka magadu), etc. Expected CTC:  Min. 5 crores for each film Achievements: World Record, Limca Record and Pepsi Record in flops Role Model: My Self and Captain Vijayakanth,the Telugu Tiger of Tamil Nadu Project Details : 1. Bike riding on ground to running Train and go to Pakistan from India with Parachute only. 2. Climbing any mountain with hands. 3. Pulling chair front and sending train back Leadership Skills: ·           Led 12564 hens and cocks to attack the enemies and won the battle. Special Attraction:   1. Shoot People not only in movie, but outside also 2. Having laser eyes. (Kanti Chuputho champaysatha) 3. Senseless talking in functions, interviews 4. Hitting thighs (Thoda Kottadam) Personal Details: Name: BalKrish N Age : 30yrs in Industry Weight: I Dont know Exactly(Machine Not Working......Showing Display As "Weight LIMIT OVER".) Hobbies: I am Not a Man to have Hobbies Finally 2 Days Back, Sending This Resume to US Govt. with Ref. Barak Obama for the post of Chief Investigation Officer, FBI. Presently Thinking and Waiting for the Call.................!                 AFTER LONG TIME SPECULATIONS AND CHANGES IN THE HERO CASTING, IT IS CONFIRMED THAT YUVARATNA NANDAMURI BALAKRISHNA IS GOING TO ACT IN THE NEXT DHOOM SERIES MOVIE      DHOOM-3 Shooting has already been started ....... A Clip of the movie is given below .... Just go through the mail step by step... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... BALAYYA Chasing Villains... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... Petrol finished in his Bike..... .... .... .... .... .... ..... .... .... .... .... .... .... Come on BALAKRISHNA ..... .... .... .... .... .... ....     .... .... .... .... .... ..... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....   Can't predict anything- He is the "ONE & ONLY" !! If you do not know who is Balakrishna... .... 1. Balakrishna makes onions cry 2. Balakrishna can delete the Recycle Bin. 3. Ghosts are actually caused by Balakrishna killing people faster than Death can process them. 4. Balakrishna can build a snowman..... out of rain. 5. Balakrishna can strangle you with a cordless phone. 6. Balakrishna can drown a fish. 7. When Balakrishna enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,.............. he turns the dark off. 8. When Balakrishna looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Balakrishna and Balakrishna. 9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Balakrishna can throw Brett Favre even further. 10. The last digit of pi is Balakrishna. He is the end of all things. 11. Balakrishna does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. 12. Bullets dodge Balakrishna. 13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Balakrishna and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 14. Balakrishna' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Balakrishna. 15. If you spell Balakrishna wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Balakrishna? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance." 16. Balakrishna can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 17. Once a cobra bit Balakrishna' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 18. When Balakrishna gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. 19. Balakrishna can kill two stones with one bird. 20. Balakrishna was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Balakrishna can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants. 22. There is no such thing as global warming. Balakrishna was cold, so he turned the sun up. 23. Balakrishna can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. 24. Balakrishna has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way. 25. Balakrishna once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" 26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Balakrishna could use to kill you, including the room itself. 27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Balakrishna. 28. Balakrishna destroyed the periodic table, because Balakrishna only recognizes the element of surprise. 29. Balakrishna got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds. 30. With the rising cost of gasoline, Balakrishna is beginning to worry about his drinking habit. 31. The square root of Balakrishna is pain. Do not try to square Balakrishna, the result is death. 32. When you say "no one's perfect", Balakrishna takes this as a personal insult. 33. Outer space exists because itsw afraid to be on the same planet with Balakrishna 34. Balakrishna has counted to infinity - twice 35. When Balakrishna does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, he's pushing earth down 36. Balakrishna is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 37. Balakrishna doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. 38. Balakrishna gave MonaLisa that smile 39. Balakrishna can slam a revolving door 40. Balakrishna's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. 41. Balakrishna grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. 42. If you google search "Balakrishna getting kicked"your search will generate 0 results. It just doesn't happen. 43. It takes Balakrishna 20 mins to watch 60 minutes 44. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Balakrishna kicked one of the corners off. 45. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Balakrishna lives in Hyderabad 46. Balakrishna once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink 47. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Balakrishna are his films. 48. Balakrishna every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 49. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Balakrishna there is no other way.

 

 

 

 

--Prasad's...